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Thread: Having a hard time socializing.

  1. #1
    Secret

    Unhappy Having a hard time socializing.

    Ok so I have a few very good friends and they are all relitively far drive from me and I cant drive so I have to have my mom or dad pick me up and drop me off at specific times and this is rare that they will drive me. And if by some odd chance like the sun aligns correctly with me or soemthing maybe just maybe I will end up haniging out with a friend. When I do see my a group of friends I feel kinda jealous cause they all get to hang out alot and some get to spend alot of time with the ladies and get into trouble and have a wild time basicly a normal teen social life , but all the while I am sitting at home and I cant participate cause I cant get there or I wasnt invited. I feel like s@$t basicly its like everyone is finding a girl and they are BF and have a GF while poor old me cant find anyone realy. I go to an all boys school so school isnt a choice either and basicly there is no way for me to socialize with the opposite sex and I feel like I am never gonna get the tools to talk and socailize with girls properly and I will just be the awkward slightly nerdy guy that the girls find creepy. for instance I do know a girl that might dig me and I kinda dig her, but its like Im paralyzed with fear of rejection and I do not want to come off as a dork. I mean I cant drive I am lucky if once every other week I see a friend. I feel like my social life is crap and I worry that I wont have the social skills to find someone that I can really bond with and connect with, but I am sooooo f#%@ing awkward and it makes me feel like crap inside.

    Can someone please help me out and suggestions or advice anything.

  2. #2
    EmeraldsAndLime

    Default

    You're 15. Any "high school relationship" you have now probably won't last too long anyway.

    Besides, there's heaps of time to make friends and get relationships when you finish school and go off to college and/or get a job. By that time you will have a car, you will have more freedom and you will be able to spend more time with your friends.

    At your age, I was exactly the same way. I never went out much, nor saw many people outside of school and I wasn't exactly the best with the ladies. But most of that got remedied in the last year or two because I got my license, got a job with people around my own age (I took a girl I worked with to the school formal - or "Prom" as you call it there). I think social skills are learnt in due time, it's just unfortunate some people don't have the resources at a time when they need to be social to fit in.

    Hang in there, it'll get a whole lot better. Trust me.

  3. #3

  4. #4

    Default

    I was the same way in high school as well. I didn't do a whole lot of socializing, but I did get used to doing things on my own and in that sense I was probably more mature than a lot of my peers. I knew some high school students, and now some adults, who could not stand the idea of ever being by themselves. If there weren't people around, they didn't know what to do with themselves. It also gave me time to write a lot and develop some skills in that area.

    The only suggestion I have for you to help you in the short term is to try to make some new friends who you will be able to see more often. If you live in a subdivision as opposed to out in the country, there are probably some other teens your age around, and you might get to meet them by getting out of the house and riding your bike around, or playing some basketball, or going to the pool if there's a neighborhood one. You could also join some activity that you could ride your bike to or get a job close to your house if there are any available; both could help you meet some new friends. And some of them may be girls.

    And lastly, remember, as others have said, that high school won't last forever, and if you pick a university that seems like a good fit for you socially you will have many opportunities then to make friends and date.

  5. #5

    Default

    Join the club...Just try not to worry about it so much...If anything, you can make online friends...Even though it may seem lame, or you want real life ones, internet ones can be good too

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by secret101 View Post
    for instance I do know a girl that might dig me and I kinda dig her, but its like Im paralyzed with fear of rejection and I do not want to come off as a dork. I mean I cant drive I am lucky if once every other week I see a friend. I feel like my social life is crap and I worry that I wont have the social skills to find someone that I can really bond with and connect with, but I am sooooo f#%@ing awkward and it makes me feel like crap inside.

    Can someone please help me out and suggestions or advice anything.
    This used to get me down, not seeing friends all that often, it can be depressing. Can't you ring them, or talk online? It might not be the best thing but at least you're keeping contact.
    What are buses/trains like where you live? Because you could use them instead of driving... How old to you have to be to drive? Just throw yourself into getting that licence ASAP.

    As for this girl that you 'dig', I say go for it! You think she might 'dig' you too, that's always a good start. Get in there, and talk to her, see where things go. If you're worried about a lack of social skills, this is where you get them from. Sure, this girl might reject you, but you learn from every experience, so even if things go wrong you're gaining social skills.

    Make your friends come to you! Have a sleep over, or beg your parents to let you have a party! Bring to wildness to you!

  7. #7

    Default

    I only have one friend in the neighborhood I live in and there are around 380 houses, and he's a sorta homophobe, he told me he has no problem with gay's he just thinks they are weird (he doesn't know about me).

    Almost all of my friend live REALLY far away from me, so I talk over AIM with a lot of them, it helps when I fell really lonely, but that is one of the reasons I never leave the room, my mom freaks out because I never socialize yet I usually have voice chats with my friend at least twice a week.

    I know what you feel like, up until about 7 months ago I didn't have AIM so I couldn't talk with ANYONE, and I was always alone.

  8. #8
    Secret

    Default

    thanks I think I might try and hang out with this girl. We live in a neigborhood togethor and its basicly a suburbia and what are like some things to do . Basicly my neigborhood is full of grumpy old people and I dont realy have ant place to entertain in my house? any ideas like how do I aproach this situation. like were aqauntinces but she might perveceive me as more of a friend while I perceive her as a potentioal relationship?

  9. #9

    Default

    Although I can't offer any immediate solutions to your problem, especially as far as the distance problem is concerned, but I will say that certainly in my case, socialising seems to become a lot easier once you leave compulsory education. I don't know why that is, but if you're having a hard time around other people now, it'll most likely get much easier for you in a couple of years.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by secret101 View Post
    thanks I think I might try and hang out with this girl. We live in a neigborhood togethor and its basicly a suburbia and what are like some things to do . Basicly my neigborhood is full of grumpy old people and I dont realy have ant place to entertain in my house? any ideas like how do I aproach this situation. like were aqauntinces but she might perveceive me as more of a friend while I perceive her as a potentioal relationship?
    Hey there is nothing wrong with going for a walk together, or go to a store or someplace like a mall, and do some window shopping, or take her to a pizza place, or for a soda at the local convienients store.

    If you both have bikes go for a ride, there are probably hundreds of free things in your area, you just have to seek them out, we can't help you with the places, but I;m sure there are lots.

    Some of the best relationships started out as freinds, one guy told me when he got married, that he married his best freind, that how he and his wife were in school.

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