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Thread: AB/DL without any interest in BDSM

  1. #1

    Default AB/DL without any interest in BDSM

    According to many people, there seems to be a close established link between AB/DL and BDSM. Ageplay often seems to occur within strict specified rules, and a lot of AB's seem to enjoy punishment, bondage, or at the very least enjoy being dominated by their 'mommy'/'daddy'.

    I, however, don't have any interest in any form of BDSM. In fact, ageplaying wouldn't even have to include someone actually taking care of me, even though that would be nice too - but in that case, I'd be neither Dom nor sub, the relationship would be fairly even, in spite of the obvious babying thing going on there. Also, I've always hated punishment and discipline, and would never want this to be a part of ageplay; on top of that, I dislike being restrained or stuck somewhere. Being an AB is closer to a natural high/freedom of mind kind of thing for me! I have never actually done ageplay, but I do wonder what it would be like with a mommy/daddy considering my view on all this...

    Anyone else who feels (kind of) the same way?

    (on a side note: woo, 100th post!)

  2. #2

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    I feel the same way. I enjoy ageplay, diapers, some sissyism, and even a little bit of babyfur. But, I do not enjoy BDSM, because I do not enjoy pain. When I ageplay as a 2-3 year old baby, I do it to feel safe. I don't hate on those who are interested in BDSM, but I am not into it and do not see a link between ABDL and BDSM (besides the fact they are both fetishes).

  3. #3

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    I feel the same way you do, being with a Dom would be to intense for the mentality I become a part of during my age play.


    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    but in that case, I'd be neither Dom nor sub, the relationship would be fairly even, in spite of the obvious babying thing going on there.
    It is submission to an extent, but doesn't have to include any BDSM. It would be hard to be equal, you are a child with a caretaker. I don't feel submissive, but my girlfriend claims I am. Despite me not wanting to be anywhere near BDSM. Ropes are to scary for a me! But being held and told what is best for me sounds blissful.

  4. #4

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    I am very, very vanilla when it comes to intimacy issues. Neither my wife nor I have ever incorporated BDSM into that aspect of our marriage and I don't think either of us has cultivated a taste for it as of late.

    I think the point must be made that simply because one niche of your life perhaps possesses shades of BDSM, that doesn't mean you must incorporate it into the other parts of your life. For example, I love to get in my overalls or fox pajamas when I regress, but I've never liked getting in a costume for Halloween, the most opportune time of the year to take on another role and dress up however you wish.

    Basically, while I do think BDSM and ABDLism have similarities and may share some emotional triggers, I don't believe them to be synonymous.

  5. #5

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    I 100% agree with you. I ageplay simply for the feeling of relaxation and simple joy it gives me. For me being a baby fur there is no BSDM or sexual aspect in it at all, its more centered around activities I view purely as childish or babyish, and the mindset helps me shed some of the stress of my life for a while. Now while I do agree DL is a fetish, I don't really think AB is for everyone.. isnt a fetish viewed as a sexual thing?

  6. #6

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    I'm purely AB, no BDSM. I enjoy the relaxation and all that. The only reason I'd want a daddy/mommy would be so I can feel more carefree because I know there is someone looking after me, so I can be the baby I want to be!

  7. #7

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    I don't comprehend why anyone is into bdsm. I don't like to be controlled and don't see the point if the whole activity can be called off with a word... Which is to say that if I were ever to control someone they would stop having fun quite rapidly.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albasion View Post
    According to many people, there seems to be a close established link between AB/DL and BDSM. Ageplay often seems to occur within strict specified rules, and a lot of AB's seem to enjoy punishment, bondage, or at the very least enjoy being dominated by their 'mommy'/'daddy'.

    I, however, don't have any interest in any form of BDSM. In fact, ageplaying wouldn't even have to include someone actually taking care of me, even though that would be nice too - but in that case, I'd be neither Dom nor sub, the relationship would be fairly even, in spite of the obvious babying thing going on there. Also, I've always hated punishment and discipline, and would never want this to be a part of ageplay; on top of that, I dislike being restrained or stuck somewhere. Being an AB is closer to a natural high/freedom of mind kind of thing for me! I have never actually done ageplay, but I do wonder what it would be like with a mommy/daddy considering my view on all this...

    Anyone else who feels (kind of) the same way?

    (on a side note: woo, 100th post!)
    Sure, BDSM and ABDL play are effectively the same thing with different trappings. at least in terms of physical realities. A high chair is restraining movement, as is a crib. Diapers are a form of surrendering control, and being in a caretaker/baby scenario still involves rules and submission to authority.

    But, the big distinction is in the headspace the players are in, and that headspace makes all the difference.

    I mean, consider actual parents with actual kids. One parent might yell at the kid, spank them, or make them stand in the corner if he's bad. Another parent might tell the kid No in a firm but not yelling voice, take away toys, or ground the kid if he's bad. Both parents are disciplining their kids, trying to stop them from being bad. However, they're doing it in totally different ways. One is using much harsher and more physical methods, while the other is using more measured and more cerebral methods.

    You're absolutely not alone in that you don't like the BDSM adult headspace in your ABDL play. Some people like the adult humiliation or the spanking, or like being restrained. Others like feeling cared for, loved, free to explore. In spite of the physical similarities of ABDL play and BDSM play, the headspace of both players makes all the difference between a high chair being a restraint because "baby" was bad or whether bubby did up the high chair straps to make sure baby doesn't fall out and stays safe.

    What you like or don't like is totally cool either way. I honestly play both ways, depending upon my mood. There are times I enjoy the more adult scenarios, but other times I like feeling cared for and loved. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're doing BDSM or ABDL or whatever thing wrong, because it's up to you and the other players in a scene what is right, not anyone else.

  9. #9

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    According to five tests I took, I'm definatly submissive...

    But I hate the rest of it...

  10. #10

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    Hi Dareios, I can be an AB on my own but much prefer it if I have a mummy or female caregiver to take care of me, and no I'm not in the bdsm side either, however I disagree with your point abount not being punished when in baby mode. PArt of what babies and toddlers do is to push bounderies either deliberately or not and there has to be some form of parental discipline, so my mummy will occasionaly slap the back of my hand or I will get a swat or two on a well nappied bottom, followed by lots of hugs and love as baby cries, it's not about hurting me, it just let's me know I've done something that mummy doesn't like or done something dangerous like try to stuff my wet fingers into a power outlet. Conversley a pat on the bottom can get baby all giggly and silly.

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