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Thread: Save me from myself

  1. #1

    Default Save me from myself

    The back story is here http://www.adisc.org/forum/off-topic...-gunpoint.html

    I just had a meal with my former President. He paid for the damages to my car, apologized, and wept, and I wept with him. Even with everything that happened I still called him friend, albeit an acknowledged strained friendship, and hugged as we departed.

    He told me that he didn't know where we stood, but that I was to be considered a friend of the Club and that he would like to return my colors to me and consider me honorably retired.

    I consider myself to be an intelligent person. I know a little bit about the psychology of the situation. I definitely know that it is an unhealthy relationship. But I also Know that I miss them.

    Once upon a time I knew that I had a place in this world no matter what else happened. I knew that I had a group of people and a home base that I could retreat to when no one else cared or was available. I cannot describe it; I have a blood family that is strong and supportive, A Church family that welcomes me there and into their homes, and friends that I care for, but there is this connection that I had with a group of; tough, course, intolerant, guys that may just slap you as soon as give you directions if you were lost that I miss deeply.

    It must sound alien, but seeing a man who wouldn't shed a tear in public if he got shot weep and hug another man of the same caliber forges a connection that in many cases is deeper than they have with a wife or child.

    Help me.

    I would feel stupid going to my family or friends and saying something so illogical, so utterly insane and stupid as this.
    I miss my brothers and part of me wants to step back into that world.

  2. #2

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    I cannot comment on biker culture. I simply have no experience of it. But I would say that an evening of remorse, even if sincere, is not enough. Remorse is a necessary, but not sufficient condition. He abused his authority, and SHOT at you, a "brother", IN FRONT OF YOUR SON, for nothing more than you doing your job, and acting in defence of your fellows. He is NOT fit to be President. If he has any sense of honour or responsibility he should resign his position, if not his membership, and if the membership of the club has any sense of responsibility, they should remove him if he fails to remove himself.

    I'm not saying that you shouldn't forgive him, but forgiving someone doesn't mean shielding someone from the consequences of their actions. What he did was CRIMINALLY reckless. A gun is not a f***ing toy. I'm not impressed with ANY organisation that believes that it has a right to regard such conduct as merely an internal matter.

    I would say this. You lied to your son about what happened, because you knew that the truth would scar him horribly. If he knew the truth, what would HE say about you going back? And would he be wrong? You could have been killed. Next time, you might not be so lucky.

  3. #3

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    If you go back to your MC I really think you should ask him if he can step down and a new leader gets put in place and disallow him to bring ANY weapons. He's at least proven he can't be trusted with weapons and likely has proven that he's a ineffective and psychotic leader when drunk, drugged, whatever. MC's should not be about violence at all but should be about protecting each other, not nearly killing each other.

    I honestly think your club's president seems to be carbon copying himself out of Sons Of Anarchy's scripts but seemingly without anything worth fighting anyone for.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Akastus View Post
    I would say this. You lied to your son about what happened, because you knew that the truth would scar him horribly. If he knew the truth, what would HE say about you going back? And would he be wrong? You could have been killed. Next time, you might not be so lucky.
    My son knows. He called me on it during a Bible study at the kitchen table. I had to admit that I lied trying to protect him, apologize for lying to him, and then talk about what happened. Yeah, fun day.




    Quote Originally Posted by Fire2box View Post
    If you go back to your MC I really think you should ask him if he can step down

    I honestly think your club's president seems to be carbon copying himself out of Sons Of Anarchy's scripts but seemingly without anything worth fighting anyone for.
    I don't think I'll ever go back. I'm emotionally torn and I guess needed someone to give me a good hard kick in the pants for thinking of doing so.

    As for stepping down, apparently he tried and no one, including the guys I got out of there that night wanted him to do so. Yeah, they went back, which is suppose is all the more reason for me to stay away and not make the same mistakes.

    Finally thanks for the laugh, Sons of Anarchy is a show we used to make fun of on many levels. If it matters we predate the show too.

  5. #5

    Default

    "Honorably retired" sounds to me like something approaching an apology. This offers you an opportunity to accept your retired colors, tell him that you accept and appreciate his apology (or whatever word is appropriate for a biker in a situation like this) and are ready to move on with your life, sans the club. Hang the colors on your wall, or put them in a trunk in the basement for your grandkids or greatgrandkids to find, or haul them out in the retirement home and brag about what a bad-ass you were. But don't go back. Thank Jebus for giving you a do-over

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Khaymen View Post
    My son knows. He called me on it during a Bible study at the kitchen table. I had to admit that I lied trying to protect him, apologize for lying to him, and then talk about what happened. Yeah, fun day.



    I don't think I'll ever go back. I'm emotionally torn and I guess needed someone to give me a good hard kick in the pants for thinking of doing so.

    As for stepping down, apparently he tried and no one, including the guys I got out of there that night wanted him to do so. Yeah, they went back, which is suppose is all the more reason for me to stay away and not make the same mistakes.

    Finally thanks for the laugh, Sons of Anarchy is a show we used to make fun of on many levels. If it matters we predate the show too.
    I figure that your and many, many, MC's predate SoA on FX. I also understand why real MC's would make fun of the show considering it's claimed by the creator to be a current generational spin on Hamlet. Anyways as for him wanting to step down but no one else wanting him to, I'm guessing no one has the balls to step up to that position. I figure you wouldn't want to be the MC's leader either.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    "Honorably retired" sounds to me like something approaching an apology. This offers you an opportunity to accept your retired colors, tell him that you accept and appreciate his apology (or whatever word is appropriate for a biker in a situation like this) and are ready to move on with your life, sans the club. Hang the colors on your wall, or put them in a trunk in the basement for your grandkids or greatgrandkids to find, or haul them out in the retirement home and brag about what a bad-ass you were. But don't go back. Thank Jebus for giving you a do-over
    This was what I was thinking as well. It's time to move on. We had at one time, a group of guys at my church who all road, and would organize riding to various places. This is the kind of group you should find. Motorcycles can be a lot of fun, but only with the right people. I think you should keep looking for a more sane and rational group of guys.

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