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Thread: My dad is now IC

  1. #1

    Default My dad is now IC

    My dad had to have his prostate removed due to cancer & in doing so they could not spare the nerves so he is now going to be incontinent. He is a suborn SOB & professed up & down that he would never wear a diaper. I am so tempted to send him a link to XP medical I tell him that this is where I get my supplies. My IC is rare & only pops up when my herniated disc acts up & thankfully it has been years (knocks on wood). no one knows I now wear them as a kink when I am not in real need of them. I am just not sure how he would react to something like this. We do have a real good relationship so I think he would not be weird about it. He was totally cool about it when I told him i was gay. just dunno if the diaper thing would take it to far.
    Any thoughts?

  2. #2

    Default

    Without knowing the dynamics of the relationship, it's hard for me to say one way or the other. On one hand, you might be able to approach it half-jokingly, sort of an attempt at a bit of levity to lighten kind of a crappy (no pun intended) situation. Alternatively, you could do it under the guise of, "hey, I know you don't want to, but here's some info for you if you find you need it". Of course, if he does react badly, gently let him know you meant no offense and that you were looking out for him.

    If my dad were in such a position, I would probably mention it, altering the "this is where I get my stuff" to "Hey, did a bit of searching, and found this site that's really highly recommended."

    Good luck, and I hope your dad can adjust ok.

  3. #3
    Catperson

    Default

    Step 1: Buy a Rag
    Step 2: Buy Chloroform
    Step 3: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.

  4. #4

    Default

    If he is incontinent he will have to face reality sooner or later. I would let him take it at his own pace. If he knows you wear diapers for your incontinence and have dealt with it for years he may approach you and ask your advice. I think right now he doesn't need diapers as much as he needs a son who is there for him, which you are . Tough or not, surviving cancer is a terrifying ordeal, and now he might feel his dignity has been robbed of him. Let him come to terms and just be you.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Catperson View Post
    Step 1: Buy a Rag
    Step 2: Buy Chloroform
    Step 3: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.
    ...What???

  6. #6
    BabyJayk

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Catperson View Post
    Step 1: Buy a Rag
    Step 2: Buy Chloroform
    Step 3: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.
    Winning! LOL!

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Catperson View Post
    Step 1: Buy a Rag
    Step 2: Buy Chloroform
    Step 3: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.
    Why buy what you can make?

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Catperson View Post
    Step 1: Buy a Rag
    Step 2: Buy Chloroform
    Step 3: "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
    Step 4: ???
    Step 5: Profit.
    Hmm, someone probably visits the little alien site...



    OP: how is your father going to manage without diapers? Cath?

  9. #9

    Default

    The most likely remedie that doctors will give is Catheters. Insurance covers them a lot more easily then they do diapers. LEt him have his moments while he gets used to his new situation. His stubborness will most likely increase from his usual for a good period of time. He wont be able to move beyond it until he come to terms with his incontinence. At this time, all you can do is offer as much support as you can. If he finds that catheters become a continual problem as in being uncomfortable, inducing infection, and ultimately getting in the way of his daily living, then feel free to suggest diapers as an option. At this time, you can put the option of diapers on the table. One thing to remember, be as supportive as you can. Losing a sense of independence is very hard on the ego.
    I hope that for the time being, your dad can learn to cope with his situation. Cancer doesnt have to be a battle fought by one person.

  10. #10

    Default

    Hi, Grizz. Sooner or later your Father is going to have to deal with reality, and I think your knowledge on the subject would be a most valuable resource for him. You could help him to find the product(s) that best suit his needs. As it has already been said, be supportive and let him know that IC does not mean that he cannot continue to live a normal, happy life. I do hope that the cancer was completely excised and is no longer a threat to his life. Best wishes, for you and your Father. Take care.

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