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Thread: Eating issues and ABDL? Help?

  1. #1

    Unhappy Eating issues and ABDL? Help?

    Does anyone else have eating issues/disorders? Does being an ABDL make it a compound problem for anyone else?

    I'm 5'2", so at a healthy and lower healthy (and unhealthily low) weight I can fit into girl's children's clothing- and it helps me regress. So when I gain more (basically when I'm around my family a lot in the summer, my mom is obese- literally, my brother is very overweight and my dad somewhat overweight) I get uncomfortable since I had the eating disorder (anorexia) to begin with- and I can no longer regress as well because children's clothing doesn't fit very well/at all. I still tightly fit into their 14/16s, but my 14 sized clothes don't fit at the moment, and it's anxiety inducing. I've actually never weighed this much in my life, and had to buy size 4 shorts (my weight is going down now, and it might be somewhat because of somewhat unhealthy eating, but my family eats a ton, and they still haven't caught on to any issues at all, and I've stayed out of ketosis aside from one slip.)

    The point is, left to my own devices, I stay at a size 0-2 in pant sizes (mostly 1-2), never counting calories and simply eating, with my bmi never slipping into underweight ranges (of course my family freaks out a bit, but they're overweight and don't comprehend healthy eating either), but added stress plus stress with my family is causing issues at the moment, plus stress over other things, and I can't regress to deal with it.

    I don't really know what I'm asking, since I know you all aren't doctors or therapists and can't fix it, and I know that once I settle back in college my weight will stabilize a bit lower than it is now, I'll be happy and it'll clear up- it always does. It's just that my family eats more and tries to make me weigh more than I'm comfortable with (which does more harm than good, since I haven't hit an underweight bmi that I know of since I recovered, even if they have told me I was getting too thin a few times.) But right now I'm a bit chubby. >.< I mean, I know I'm not fat fat, I can fit into a Japanese size medium, and they're pretty smallish, but I still feel chubby.

    I guess I really want help coping with this in a healthy manner so that I don't end up exercising compulsively. It's normal (not healthy but normal) for one's weight to creep up if you eat with overweight people, and I wasn't expecting this much gain this summer (really, my family has gained also-they're just eating more.) I feel extremely unattractive and can't feel little at all and have no clue how to deal with it. Support from eating disorder recovery type sites wouldn't be as helpful I don't think, because they don't see it as being so entwined with wanting to be little either. It's a more multifaceted problem than I imagine most eating disorder sufferers really deal with (normally it's just control, perfectionism, trauma, parental boundary issues and a combination of other things, but being "little" adds and odd dimension.)

    Help? O.o Some kind of help?

  2. #2

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    Hi, Starbright. I gather that your family does not know about your eating disorder, but they may still be worried that you look, in their eyes, too thin. They may be trying to 'put some meat on your bones' because they are concerned about your health. This probably sounds really absurd, but ever since I was a young child, I have wanted to be able to fit into the clothing made for real, actual little girls. I still do, but I recognize that this is never going to happen in reality. I will always have to settle for adult sized clothing that is made to mimic the style of little girl's clothing. It's not the same as having the genuine articles of clothing, but my ' little girl ' outfits still make me happy. Please do not sacrifice your health for the sake of being able to fit into the clothing made for actual children.

  3. #3

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    Hi Starbright!

    Attempting to relate:
    I too have eating issues...although not for the most part of the type that may be found in the latest DSM...that said...I am considered anorexic NON-nervosa...though the DSM does include "EDNOS (Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified)". My primary issues with eating are gastro, mastication (and attention) related. I rarely have an appetite, and may only eat one meal a day.

    However: I do see myself as larger in size in the mirror...and, secretly like it when people tell me I'm too skinny/thin...and, shop/fit carefully selected junior sized clothes (which are often cheaper, and more fun to wear). I have my 'toes' in the 'shallow-end' of the underweight/low BMI range.

    In my experiences, I find that *B/DL, may very well compound the issues, but it may not be a direct connection. To iterate...though 'being little' seems out of place, or perhaps out of context to the eating disorder...I *think* the causes behind them may not be all that dissimilar.

    I haven't read up lately on treatment options/modalities for anorexia-nervosa (or others)...but my thoughts would be to maybe skip some of the family-meals/times, and instead go hang out with a supportive, easy-going (stress-free) friend/companion to join in a healthy/fun meal.

    If you can prevent the stressors...you'll have much less to recover from...or need to regress from.

    Not that long ago...I happened to walk by a full-length, narrow mirror...at about twenty-feet away...while minimally dressed...

    ...I was quite shocked by the image of 'skini-me' in that perspective.

    Perspectives leading to perceptions, are in my estimation very powerful, and sometimes elusive...say tricky to navigate...but, as in my accidental perspective...if you can find a way to alter the perspective...not to be confused with changing the way you look based on what you perceive...

    ...I think you'll find some sanctuary in the renewed perception. This is a little like the 'glass half full, or half empty' of optimism-v-pessimism...say a little more convoluted, and foreseeably abstract...although with a little patience, a little practice, you may have a whole new powerful weapon against stress related to harmful self-image...not to mention...all the new ways to see everything else too really!

    *Contents may have settled during shipping, I am not a licensed or other type of practitioner...nor do I portray one in any other media.*

    Live well, and prosper,
    -Marka

  4. #4
    LittleDrummerGirl

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    Yo. I've got SED- selective eating disorder.

    Its like picky eating in a toddler, but its and actual disorder. And I have it BAD.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by fifigal View Post
    Hi, Starbright. I gather that your family does not know about your eating disorder...
    They actually did know about the anorexia, and I've been recovered for seven-ish years, so I realize that it is concern for my health, but I really genuinely don't need to be this big. I don't want to be underweight, just the size I usually am and I've gained weight spending time with family over the summer. It's just tense because the size they want me at his at the heavy side of normal and I want to be on the thinner side of normal, and there's a bit of overlap in women's smaller sizes and larger children's clothing.

    I'm just having a hard time coping because I weigh more than I ever have, even post recovery, and it's frustrating and difficult because it's large. Maybe I am completely irrational but I'm just having a hard time coping- because I did fit very well in genuine girl's clothing.

    ---------- Post added at 23:05 ---------- Previous post was at 21:59 ----------

    Marka- I'd heard of people just having anorexia, but never "met" someone with that issue per say. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was younger and EDNOS at one point as well. It's just difficult getting away from the stressors at the moment. I don't think I've ever looked in a full length mirror from far away so might try that. O.o Anyway, I don't think treatment options for eating disorders are very successful- I think around 40% never recover.

    Jaret246- I've heard of that one too. That seems like it would be difficult to deal with too.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starbright View Post
    They actually did know about the anorexia, and I've been recovered for seven-ish years, so I realize that it is concern for my health, but I really genuinely don't need to be this big. I don't want to be underweight, just the size I usually am and I've gained weight spending time with family over the summer. It's just tense because the size they want me at his at the heavy side of normal and I want to be on the thinner side of normal, and there's a bit of overlap in women's smaller sizes and larger children's clothing.

    I'm just having a hard time coping because I weigh more than I ever have, even post recovery, and it's frustrating and difficult because it's large. Maybe I am completely irrational but I'm just having a hard time coping- because I did fit very well in genuine girl's clothing.

    ---------- Post added at 23:05 ---------- Previous post was at 21:59 ----------

    Marka- I'd heard of people just having anorexia, but never "met" someone with that issue per say. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was younger and EDNOS at one point as well. It's just difficult getting away from the stressors at the moment. I don't think I've ever looked in a full length mirror from far away so might try that. O.o Anyway, I don't think treatment options for eating disorders are very successful- I think around 40% never recover.

    Jaret246- I've heard of that one too. That seems like it would be difficult to deal with too.
    Starbright,

    I just now saw your reply...thought I'd check to see how things were going for you now?
    -Marka

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starbright View Post
    I'm just having a hard time coping because I weigh more than I ever have, even post recovery, and it's frustrating and difficult because it's large. Maybe I am completely irrational but I'm just having a hard time coping- because I did fit very well in genuine girl's clothing.
    ... Well, there's 2 points I'd like to comment on. The first is: if you're really that close in size, then you don't necessarily have to give up children's clothing completely. I've discovered that at Lands End, they have plus sized childrens clothing - same style and shape and everything, but for sizes wider than normal. Now this may not be ideal, but for me I'm (on the low end of) a perfect 14+ girls for bottoms like jeans/skirts, and I wouldn't fit in the 14 or 16 range. I wear boys jeans regularly (since I can get away with it in public) and I find that the 14+ girls there, are like an 18 regular for boys, and 16+ I would assume would be about a 20. I know that may not help for you to understand the sizing any better, but it's just to give an idea that it's a full size up. (sorry, my biology and my mind disagree, so my experience differs lol) Hopefully that helps you in some way.

    Secondly, I find my weight being so low actually a little scary. I know I'm underweight, and I've seen doctor's notes when peeking in my record at a walk-in clinic and the doctor felt the same. I'm 5' 7 1/2" and that puts me in the underweight percentile, but I do enjoy the ability to be able to fit in kids' clothing - not to mention the cost savings! But I've been worried if I may have an eating disorder - I know at the least I don't eat enough. Part of it's money, part of it's depression-induced laziness...but sometimes I just skip a meal. My meals are a lot smaller too. I've always been thinking though - don't you have to intend to be underweight to be anorexic? And speaking of the differences in anorexia, I was wondering what the difference between just anorexia and anorexia nervosa was, because I didn't know there was a difference.
    Last edited by BabyKat; 09-Aug-2011 at 04:21.

  8. #8

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    I'm losing weight at a rate of 1.5ish lbs a week now and am doing reasonably okay.

    And BabyKat, to be 5'7 1/2" and fit into children's clothing seems quite thin. O.o It would be in the underweight percentile- and it's probably just the depression induced laziness and skipping meals... anorexia is just not being hungry, anorexia nervosa is the full typical eating disorder people refer to. Probably you do have some type of eating disorder and they'd classify you as ednos. It's likely that you eat healthfully and aren't getting enough calories at all. I'm not sure how underweight you are though, but it's really healthier to stay in the healthy weight range. .... Of course I'm really not in a position to give that advice. I'd definitely eat more. However, I'm pretty sure you would be classified as ednos.

    At any rate, I'm getting my weight back down to happy level which consists of vaguely eating disordered behavior but my parents have no notion of correct portion sizes, which does show on their waistlines- and they think normal eating is extremely weird, because they overeat. ... So I'm doing eating disordered things to appear to be eating a large amount which they consider normal. My set point at home is radically different from that at school, and I just want to be normal sized again. >.<

  9. #9

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    Wow, when I clicked the link I was honestly surprised that the conversation was about undereating instead of overeating :-) I've never had an undereating problem; I was 160 pounds in fourth grade and was smaller than that only once in my life for a couple of weeks.

    I'm definitely an overeater. I eat more than I need, and work out less than I could. I was doing rather good a month ago, but I have been pretty bad for the past week. I like to think about how I would prefer to be thin enough to wear Goodnites, or at least be able to fit into my current jeans with a diaper on because that would be nifty and useful, but I haven't put a consistent effort toward it, and instead am hovering around 180 pounds and a 38-inch waist (mostly in the belly). I've dropped 10 or 15 pounds now and then, but then I gain it back. I'm glad I haven't been driven to eat to the point where I outgrow my clothes or make it difficult for me to function, but I really do have times when I feel significantly smaller or bigger in my clothes than on other days.

    I have thought about going to meetings such as Overeaters Anonymous from time to time, but I haven't made plans around them. My vices are wearing wet diapers, eating too much, procrastinating work, and having enough caffeine to get a buzz. They all come and go. Maybe on some level I'm afraid to give up any of my vices for good, since they're mine and I own them. ;-)

    My guess is, no, there's no significant overlap between AB/DL habits and eating disorders. We just seem to have both of those in our lives at the same time.

  10. #10

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    Well I learned something Starbright...never heard of ednos until now...but it may apply from what I've read. And whisko, I can and do fit in kids goodnites... The new ones are a an inch and a half "taller"...they're pretty low-rise, but I do fit in them...and when I say fit, I don't mean those nasty ABs who just barely slip into them with it stretched to the max and looks like a thong, lol....that's just gross and wrong. Not gonna say my exact weight, but I am inside the goodnites weight range .... But I know a lot of people who don't think you're really underweight until you hit like 100 lbs mark. I've been asked a few times by my family if I'm eating enough...probably not. I have a high metabolism, and I used to eat like a lb of food for lunch and more for supper...with junk food between lunch and supper for snack, and even sometimes after supper...Now I have like Mr Noodles for lunch, a handful of cereal for breakfast, and maybe 1 normal-sized meal. I've never been above 130 lbs in my life. And that's curious... I didn't know they had an Overeaters Anonymous... Nock-off of AA I guess?

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