Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Well, so...

  1. #1

    Question Well, so...

    I am not an AB nor am I a DL which is what brings me to this site to begin with. I have been seeing this guy who after about a month of dating told me about his interest in AB/DL, I was floored. He told me over text as we were talking about our fantasies and I didn't even know what it was until he told me to wiki it. It all seemed like a bad dream as I am completely ignorant to this. I've been scouring the interwebs looking for information on this and it has been another month until I found this site.

    He expressed how important this is to his life so I have been trying to understand it more, I just don't know anything. He also said it is so important to him that he would not be able to date someone who isn't at least a little interested in AB/DL. We haven't approached it physically as we are long distance at the moment and I am really dreading the day we do.

    I need to stress how much I'm trying not to offend anyone, like I said, I am entirely ignorant which is why I come to all of you! It is all very foreign to me but the more I learn, and the more I read, the more okay with it I am. I feel bad even passing judgment on him but it is all so weird.

    You guys must have something helpful to tell me, your 'coming out' story even? How did your significant other react? Did they grow into the idea or have many relationships ended because of this?

    Oh please help!

  2. #2

    Default

    I don't know why, but, when I see posts from people who aren't AB/TB/DLs themselves, it makes me a bit happy! The fact that you're willing to learn for him is a very good sign of a strong relationship!

    So, I've been in like... three relationships. I know, not many, but I'm only 16- and one was when I was 10 xD. The other two times, I met the people through AB/TB/DL communities. (TB is the same thing as AB, just replace the word "Adult" with "Teen.") Obviously, coming out wasn't an issue for me because I never actually had to do so! But, at age 10 (Before I was even involved in any online AB/TB/DL communities) I did tell my "girlfriend." (I'm gay, but didn't know it yet, and we were together more to please other people because we were trying to seem mature, lol)

    She was okay with it, but, again, we were 10 and trying to figure stuff out. I do remember her making jokes about it, but, that's it. The best thing you can do is actually talk with him more about it.

    http://www.adisc.org/forum/content/1...fantilism.html This article, by our site owner Moo, is particularly good. It may also help you understand things.

    When Kids Love Diapers Now! Whilst THIS link is actually for parents of teens, it may offer some kind of insight that other things won't. So, just remember that the target demographic for this website is parents of teens who're trying to understand AB/TB/DL!

    But, again, I stress talking to him. Ask him if it's sexual, platonic, something he wants to engage in often, ETC ETC. It'll be awkward, I'm sure, but hey- it'll strengthen the relationship! Just be honest, and if something goes too far for you, let him know. Everyone has limits, and a good couple respects each others differences, and understands when not to cross certain lines.

    Hope my bit of rambling helped you in some way!

    Signed,

    ~One-Seventeen

  3. #3
    lloydrughing

    Default

    Well the thing is that you have your needs, desires and boundaries too. My only advice is to learn as much about it as you can (look everywhere, YouTube, Fox Tales Times, here, everywhere) and then try it with him once. If you absolutely hate it, tell him so and take the relationship from there. This may just not work out. But I hope for you and him, that it does, and that you two can live happily together, diapers, or no diapers.

    EDIT

    Also if your not an AB, you really shouldn't say so on your profile.

  4. #4
    BabyJayk

    Default

    I was in the same boat with my better-half just a little while ago.

    Granted he probably shouldn't have told you over text, and he should have had a more indepth conversation with you rather than just saying "wiki it".

    Basically, I feel like you two need to talk about it some more, and by more I mean a lot more. You need to find out what HE likes to do because not al AB/DL's can be put in one box. So like pacifiers and some don't, some like bottle feeding, some don't, some wet and/or mess their diapers, some hardly wear diapers at all. You need to find out about him, more than you need to find out about AB/DL's in general because like any other group of people, we are all different.

    The last time I came out to someone was to my girlfriend Kaydeeroo. I basically just told her what being an AB is and why I do it. Then she wanted to know more so I referred her to a website or two, then she asked to see me regress in person. We talked it over a lot and eventually I regressed in front of her. After I did she realized that AB stuff wasn't so bad and eventually tried it herself, after a while it became an important part of our relationship. Our own "little" (no pun intended) world that we could escape to when the world got to be too much for us. It got to the point that when I discussed giving it up she didn't want to anymore. Eventually she joined ADISC. She is many things in one to me, she is a lover, a Mommy, my Baby Girl, and my Best Friend in the whole world.

    AB/DL stuff is what the two of you make it.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyJayk View Post
    I was in the same boat with my better-half just a little while ago.

    Granted he probably shouldn't have told you over text, and he should have had a more indepth conversation with you rather than just saying "wiki it".

    Basically, I feel like you two need to talk about it some more, and by more I mean a lot more. You need to find out what HE likes to do because not al AB/DL's can be put in one box. So like pacifiers and some don't, some like bottle feeding, some don't, some wet and/or mess their diapers, some hardly wear diapers at all. You need to find out about him, more than you need to find out about AB/DL's in general because like any other group of people, we are all different.

    The last time I came out to someone was to my girlfriend Kaydeeroo. I basically just told her what being an AB is and why I do it. Then she wanted to know more so I referred her to a website or two, then she asked to see me regress in person. We talked it over a lot and eventually I regressed in front of her. After I did she realized that AB stuff wasn't so bad and eventually tried it herself, after a while it became an important part of our relationship. Our own "little" (no pun intended) world that we could escape to when the world got to be too much for us. It got to the point that when I discussed giving it up she didn't want to anymore. Eventually she joined ADISC. She is many things in one to me, she is a lover, a Mommy, my Baby Girl, and my Best Friend in the whole world.

    AB/DL stuff is what the two of you make it.
    Kinda off topic, but, that is legitimately touching, heartwarming, and awesome.

  6. #6
    BabyJayk

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Liam117 View Post
    Kinda off topic, but, that is legitimately touching, heartwarming, and awesome.
    Well the original post asked for coming out stories as well. So I fail to see how this is off topic.

  7. #7

    Default

    As you read around, I hope you will come away with the simple fact that lots of people have kinks of one kind or another and this is just another one in the mix. I'm surprised that your boyfriend would be so casual (cowardly?) to bring this up over text but then so unfair with it to say that he couldn't be someone who wasn't "...at least a little bit interested...". You can look at this with an open mind but you can't manufacture an interest. I think tolerance is the best anyone can reasonably expect from someone who doesn't come to it naturally, although I also think that there are aspects that many more people who feel the urge could enjoy if they allowed themselves to do so.

    As to his specific interests and urges, it'd be a long list. From what you've said (and perhaps what little he's said), we don't whether where he falls in the adult baby vs. diaper lover spectrum, which is in itself an oversimplification. The most common object we tend to fixate on is the diaper but even that has a variety of angles and a minority of ABs don't like them at all. Cloth vs. disposable (within disposables, there's also the more recent clothlike covers vs. the older plastic style and pull-up types vs. tapes), just wearing vs. using, more sexual/sensual vs. comfort stress relief, thicker vs. thinner, etc. I just throw those out there to illustrate that like anything that people get really passionate about (and we can get really passionate) there's going to be a spectrum of responses. Also, just because someone likes one thing, it does not necessarily follow that they like or dislike things that are commonly lumped with them. The upshot is, he's the only one who can tell you what he's definitely interested in. We can give you general information and you can read the accounts of others and see what works for them, but it's intensely personal and can be oddly specific.

    I don't mean to be discouraging. I think it's great you're looking into this and I sympathize with you for just being given this weird piece of information and being told to work it out. We should be able to give you some good assistance with the right information or at least some good additional questions on your part. We've talked to a number of somewhat stunned partners out there and I think you've found one of the best sites to get these kinds of answers instead of people asking to change your diaper. Hope to hear more from you.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by omghelp View Post
    You guys must have something helpful to tell me, your 'coming out' story even? How did your significant other react? Did they grow into the idea or have many relationships ended because of this?
    Oh please help!
    My boyfriend told me about this a little less than a year ago. I looked at him weird and he kind of shrugged it off and told me that he's not into it anymore and that it's not a big deal. I would admit,I did judge him. In my mind I was going "what a weirdo." It wasn't until more time passed that he confessed to me that he really enjoys it and even showed me his diaper collection. He told me everything that he enjoys about it. I was floored too but then I really thought about it.

    He trusted me enough to tell me this which means I'm important in his life. So I went along with it.

    I indulged him in it,just getting him dressed up in a diaper and babying him. I never really joined in any other way for a while. I even brought it into our sex life a little. The more I learned about it,the more I realized that it was growing on me. I enjoyed it. It can truly be a bonding experience.

    It's our little time together. We don't do it every day we meet up, but it's definitely fun every so often.

    I suggest you just learn more about like everyone else says and really 'study up' on it. I also think you two need to talk it out more and really see what kind of stuff they're into regarding this.

    best of luck!

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    As to his specific interests and urges, it'd be a long list. From what you've said (and perhaps what little he's said), we don't whether where he falls in the adult baby vs. diaper lover spectrum, which is in itself an oversimplification. The most common object we tend to fixate on is the diaper but even that has a variety of angles and a minority of ABs don't like them at all. Cloth vs. disposable (within disposables, there's also the more recent clothlike covers vs. the older plastic style and pull-up types vs. tapes), just wearing vs. using, more sexual/sensual vs. comfort stress relief, thicker vs. thinner, etc. I just throw those out there to illustrate that like anything that people get really passionate about (and we can get really passionate) there's going to be a spectrum of responses. Also, just because someone likes one thing, it does not necessarily follow that they like or dislike things that are commonly lumped with them. The upshot is, he's the only one who can tell you what he's definitely interested in. We can give you general information and you can read the accounts of others and see what works for them, but it's intensely personal and can be oddly specific.
    This.

    I can't imagine telling someone to "wiki" this as an intro. The spectrum is just too broad, and while someone might be accepting of one part of it, they might not be of others. So... to just expose someone to the whole spectrum of it when you're outing yourself seems... very counter productive.

    Do both of yourselves a favor, tell him you need to sit down and have a discussion about this. What are his specific AB/DL interests, and how does he see you fitting into that?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.