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Thread: Hello from LilLeaker

  1. #1

    Smile Hello from LilLeaker

    Hello!

    Sorry, not my first post here. I got distracted a couple of times on the way to this particular forum.

    I'm a 35-year-old male and engineer (being a little vague on purpose there) in the state of Washington, USA. I've been a DL for as long as I can remember, though there have been periods of time where it was difficult to indulge my desire to wear and use diapers, particularly during college and shortly thereafter.

    As it turns out, I am also married and have a family, and a house, and a cat, and... Eep! Yes, just like those TB's who have to hide their diaper stashes from their biological mommies, I still have people I'm not eager to share this part of my life with. Sound bad? Well, it doesn't bother me one bit! I'm quite comfortable keeping it to myself, and I like to think I've gotten pretty good at it (though I try not to get complacent!). Needless to say, I don't wear diapers all day, nor do I often sleep in them. Rather, I slip into them only when I'm by myself, which fortunately is often enough to keep me happy.

    It never really occurred to me to seek out other DL's to chat with online, although this seems like a nice place. I actually found it when I was searching for places to buy the larger-sized Pampers, and then got distracted reading various posts.

    Yes, I wear baby diapers.

    Outside of DL-ing, I'm into all things technical, especially electronics and software. Digital video and photography also occupy quite a bit of my spare time, and when it's not too cloudy I like to pull out the telescope and do some stargazing. Oddly, though I don't listen to music that often, I love to perform. I can sometimes be found performing as part of an instrumental ensemble at weddings. It's good money, but I do it just for fun.

    So there you have it! Hello again! I'm about to skip town for a night, but if anybody has any clarifying questions, I'll be certain to answer when I'm back tomorrow.

    Stay dry!
    -LilLeaker

  2. #2

  3. #3

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    No questions really, but well-done intro; we get all manner of people across the spectrum, from the highly functional to the very dysfunctional, and it's good to hear you are getting on well in life, with all sorts of skills and interests, family, and the rest. The message that being ab or dl is not cause to plunge into social isolation is a positive one.

  4. #4

  5. #5

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    Welcome LilLeaker. I LOVE your avatar! Without revealing the company you work for, your business address, or telephone number - what field of engineering are you in? I happen to know a thing or two about math and science, though would not call myself an engineer. Also, you say you've managed to hide your interest from your family, does this include your wife?

    Hope to see you around the forums

  6. #6
    lloydrughing

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    It's good to see someone so articulate and honest. I hope you become a main member of this forum. What computer system do you run?

  7. #7

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    (back in town)

    Thanks, everybody, for the kind and encouraging words! Quite honestly, after wearing diapers by choice for 30 or so years, I'd seriously underestimated the added feeling of belonging to be gotten from sharing my interest, even in such an anonymous way. I'm glad these sites exist, though not so much for the older DL's like me as for the younger ones, who might otherwise wonder whether they're the only one their age who enjoys wearing a diaper. Obviously not! I was in college when I first stumbled upon the beginnings of the DL (and AB, etc.) community on usenet in the early 1990's. I wasn't interested in talking with anybody about diapers at that time, but at least there was no more wondering for me! I felt a lot better.



    Quote Originally Posted by Raccoon View Post
    ...it's good to hear you are getting on well in life, with all sorts of skills and interests, family, and the rest. The message that being ab or dl is not cause to plunge into social isolation is a positive one.
    Well, diapers aren't the only thing that excites me, and I have had quite a while to come to terms with liking them, to get good at hiding them, and to overcome other challenges that come with being a DL. I guess! But you're very right; the message is, just as for those grappling with larger differences of sexuality and whatnot: Things always get better!



    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    Welcome LilLeaker. I LOVE your avatar!
    Thanks! Yours is very cute also! Mine comes from a 1960's Pampers box. Oddly, though I was raised in cloth prefolds in the late 1970's, as a DL I'm pretty much a Pampers and Huggies guy. I love the smells and designs! Plus, it's kind of hard to be an "undercover DL" in cloth diapers, at least if you enjoy wetting (and I do). The laundry isn't safe at home! But I digress...



    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    what field of engineering are you in? I happen to know a thing or two about math and science, though would not call myself an engineer.
    Well, my title *isn't* "Computer Engineer", but that's basically what I do. I design embedded computer systems, from the circuit board layout to the firmware to the test rigs.



    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    Also, you say you've managed to hide your interest from your family, does this include your wife?
    It does. If I work at it, I can make myself feel a little guilty, but I'm usually at peace with my decision to keep it a secret. I prefer to think of DL as a fun, quirky, and... irresistible!... accessory to my sexuality rather than a centerpiece. From that standpoint, I'd rather be completely understood for 99% of who I am than wondered about for the whole thing. Would my relationship--of 12 years--end if she found out? No, definitely not. Instead, I expect she'd claim to understand (eventually) and I'd just never be sure if that was really true. In the end, I feel like there's enough to me outside of diapers that I'm entitled to at least one little secret.

    But my mom knew at one point. My DL-ing started when I was 7-ish and my younger sister was still in diapers at night. I was still small enough to fit nicely into her toddler-size prefolds and I could *barely* fit into her plastic pants. Seems SOOO wonderful now, but I was a little scared at the time! I didn't know why I was doing it--I was potty-trained and didn't wet the bed or any of that--but I just couldn't resist. I *had* to be in diapers! I'd put a diaper on, sometimes wet it, and then put it into my sister's diaper pail to get laundered with her wet ones. Nobody seemed to notice that! For some reason, though, I wasn't able to get my wet diaper back to my sister's room one morning (too much going on in that part of the house, probably), so I'd tossed it under my bed. Later in the day, I went back to get it and found it gone! I was TERRIFIED!! My mom gave me some odd looks for the rest of the day, if I recall--worse than just confronting me with it! It took some time for me to get over that, and that's the reaction I most fear from my wife if she were to ever find out. When sis was done with diapers, I found the box in the garage where they'd been put and thus my first "stash" came into being, though I didn't often wet because I had no real hope of pulling off a wash/dry without getting caught. It wasn't until a few years later that I had an allowance and could go and buy disposables. Then I could finally and fully indulge myself again. Pampers ftw! ...they did fit a little better then, however!



    Quote Originally Posted by lloydrughing View Post
    What computer system do you run?
    I have a Mac Pro running both Mac and Windows. The Mac personality serves my creative side, the Windows side serves the engineer. I like it!

  8. #8
    nappiboy

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    Welcome little LilLeaker, Like you I am married and a form of engineer. Your intro story reminds me very much of my own life, only I stole my baby brothers diapers and plastic pants, and like you I got caught around the same age.

    I understand why you want to keep this secrete, I kept the secrete like you for most of my life (we are similar ages) until I finally had to tell? I still don't know why but I told my wife. After much discussion It final worked out with conditions but it was not easy and it wasn't until I told her that I realized what I had done.

    Anyway what type of engineering did you specialize in. My interest is structural. I have worked on small dwelling homes to large high rise developments and am currently working on a new coal loader for a near by coal mine. I love engineering, everyday is different.

    Hey welcome.

  9. #9

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    LilLeaker, thank you for your thoughtful and detailed responses. You sound like a guy I could be friends with even though you're on the other side of the country. Have you ever shared your diaper interest with anyone else in person? As for me, I have a few times, but nothing recently. I am not in a relationship, but would very much like to find someone I could share this interest with - as you said, an accessory, not the MAIN event of our lives.

    As for my engineering background, I majored in physics, then did a little work as a system administrator on a Unix based network several years ago. I work more in the medical field now. I have an iMac and just upgraded to Lion (having a few issues, but that would be for another forum). Also have an iPad and iPhone. Kind of a Mac freak, I know. My favorite diaper at the moment is Dry 24/7's, though I recently tried the Unique Wellness brand and like those a lot too (to bad they aren't white, they're greenish/blue).

  10. #10

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    Hello again!

    First off, thanks to everybody who's sent me requests, PM-ed me, etc. I'm not established enough yet to be allowed to reply directly to those, but I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring anybody!



    Quote Originally Posted by nappiboy View Post
    I understand why you want to keep this secrete, I kept the secrete like you for most of my life (we are similar ages) until I finally had to tell? I still don't know why but I told my wife. After much discussion It final worked out with conditions but it was not easy and it wasn't until I told her that I realized what I had done.
    Very interesting! It's not clear from this whether or not you're glad you told her… A little of both, perhaps? That's probably for another thread, though! "Conditions" is hugely intriguing! If, however, you find yourself having to be less than totally secret about doing what you want to do, I guess I'll call that a win! You're clearly braver than I am!

    I'm sure there are a few things I would do a lot more often were I living alone, such as wearing diapers to bed. However, feeling unable to do that *does* make those rare situations when I'm home alone for the night awfully exciting!



    Quote Originally Posted by nappiboy View Post
    Anyway what type of engineering did you specialize in. My interest is structural. I have worked on small dwelling homes to large high rise developments and am currently working on a new coal loader for a near by coal mine. I love engineering, everyday is different.
    Electrical and software. I do both, professionally as well as on the side. I'm primarily a manager of people in those capacities now, actually, but I try to keep my hands dirty. And, when I can't keep my hands dirty enough at work, then the hobby aspect kicks into full swing!



    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    Have you ever shared your diaper interest with anyone else in person? As for me, I have a few times, but nothing recently. I am not in a relationship, but would very much like to find someone I could share this interest with - as you said, an accessory, not the MAIN event of our lives.
    Nope. I wish I felt like I could get away with that, but I don't. As for finding somebody else to share the interest with, one can always hope for a connection with somebody else in a forum like this to grow into something more, I suppose. So there's hope! But just stumbling into somebody in the Real World who happens to also like wearing diapers does seem unlikely. Either way, though, having somebody you could share this part of yourself with would obviously be awesome!



    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld08 View Post
    I have an iMac and just upgraded to Lion (having a few issues, but that would be for another forum). Also have an iPad and iPhone. Kind of a Mac freak, I know.
    Fun stuff. I like Apple gear a lot, but from the operating system standpoint I pretty much do it all and don't have a favorite. Back when computers were only a hobby to me, I was a huge Apple freak. Since then, however, I have to admit that they've all (sadly) been reduced to tools. If only Commodore was still around!

    At one point, I was a collector of vintage Unix workstations, and still have a large collection of old Silicon Graphics machines--including a deskside Onyx + Reality Engine that's the size of a small refrigerator!--sitting around. I might resume that hobby when I have a bigger house! It is fun to play with the old stuff.

    Again, thanks everybody for the kind words!
    -LL

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