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Thread: Automatically lost interest in women that aren't virgins?

  1. #1

    Default Automatically lost interest in women that aren't virgins?

    Alright here the short version. My friend that for some reason I had a bit of a crush type thing on (i'm engaged she's in a committed relationship so yeah) Anyways point being is that she and I where talking about our significant others. And in this subject came sex. So we talked and well after she told me it I kind of lost any "interest" in her. I mean It's like I'm no longer attracted to her... Like she's still attractive but not for me? If that makes any lick of sense. Keep in mind I"m a virgin (as is my fiancee) but I just found that so odd for me since well I do watch porn and what not. And I don't think less of her or anyone having sex... (I personally just wanna wait) So yeah anyone else in the same boat? Is this normal? is this freaky is this me being self righteous? XD

    *Note: I"m still good friends with her and all just don't have that same... "crush" is all... if that makes any sense...

  2. #2

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    I'd look at this from a different angle than you. Perhaps the fact that she's sexually experienced and you aren't isn't something you're comfortable with? Ie, that if you imagine a fantasy with you and her, now she knows what she's doing in bed and you're fumbling around with really no clue (trust me, there'll be fumbling your first time no matter how much porn you've seen).

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightFox View Post
    I'd look at this from a different angle than you. Perhaps the fact that she's sexually experienced and you aren't isn't something you're comfortable with? Ie, that if you imagine a fantasy with you and her, now she knows what she's doing in bed and you're fumbling around with really no clue (trust me, there'll be fumbling your first time no matter how much porn you've seen).
    Nah its not even sexual no in the slightest. I mean its odd way to describe the way I feel about females that i fancy. More or less its innocent I don't think like a normal guy. So the first tough is not "I'd like to bone her." If not its I'd like to cuddle or kiss. Usually its like that with girls I really like. Obviously its just an infatuation that goes away within a couple days to weeks. Ya know?

  4. #4

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    I understand what you mean. I felt like that with a girlfriend before. It was a huge blow and I wasn't sure if I still liked her. She was really understanding and comforting about it though, and she won me back afterward. Had she not worked to make it up to me, I would have run the other way.
    I can't stand promiscuous women or men. Sex is a great benefit to having a committed long term relationship, but anyone who uses sex as motivation or a goal is not someone I want to be around.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dragsnick View Post
    is this me being self righteous?
    Self righteous isn't the right word. Someone else nailed it. It's insecurity with a mix of denial. Add a large of helping of jealousy and what you have is pretty common.

    Don't bother saying no either! Would a little kid with his hand in the cookie jar agree that he was taking a cookie? Nope. He'd mask it with plenty of other excuses, which I'm sure you're going to do. "Oh it's not like that. I'm just not into it. I just wanted to wait." It's all hogwash unless you're ultra-ultra-conservative.

    Don't take it personally, I know lots of people that are like this. I just know that they're all kidding themselves too.



    Quote Originally Posted by inconspicuous View Post
    It was a huge blow and I wasn't sure if I still liked her. She was really understanding and comforting about it though, and she won me back afterward. Had she not worked to make it up to me, I would have run the other way.
    I can't stand promiscuous women or men. Sex is a great benefit to having a committed long term relationship, but anyone who uses sex as motivation or a goal is not someone I want to be around.
    I assume that if your first sexual relationship doesn't work out, you'll take yourself off the market and remain single forever. That's what you expect of everyone else. Promiscuous and having sex in committed relationships are not synonymous and as I said about the original poster, this just leads me to believe you're a tad insecure and maybe have a serious case of jealousy. My advice? Get over yourself.
    Last edited by g6s; 28-Jun-2011 at 20:48. Reason: added second quote

  6. #6

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    I understand what you mean as well. I feel the same way towards guys who aren't virgins. It's kind of hard to explain, and I feel like it might have to do with my religion, but I'm often turned off by guys who aren't virgins. I believe in waiting until marriage to have sex, but not a lot of kids in my small town do. I find often that guys I'd be interested in aren't virgins, and that's just a huge turn off for me.

    One of the biggest things is, if I were ever to get into a committed relationship with them, and end up marrying them, I'd be exposed to whoever else they had sex with. That's probably one of the biggest parts of the turn off overall.

    But I think it's normal to be turned off by that.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xelxier View Post
    I understand what you mean as well. I feel the same way towards guys who aren't virgins. It's kind of hard to explain, and I feel like it might have to do with my religion, but I'm often turned off by guys who aren't virgins. I believe in waiting until marriage to have sex, but not a lot of kids in my small town do. I find often that guys I'd be interested in aren't virgins, and that's just a huge turn off for me.

    One of the biggest things is, if I were ever to get into a committed relationship with them, and end up marrying them, I'd be exposed to whoever else they had sex with. That's probably one of the biggest parts of the turn off overall.

    But I think it's normal to be turned off by that.
    Hey your from mn my fiancee is from there also. Small town an hour away from the cities. She's also a Christian as am I and its a partial reason to my feelings towards sex before marriage. But my feeling is inexplainable simply because i wasnt interested in my friend romantically. I'm engaged and happy to be so I guess it was mostly a physical attraction. That went away when she told me about the sex thing....so i don't think its the whole ill be with everyone she's been with...so I'm honestly quite puzzled by my feelings.

  8. #8

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    Well, it honestly could just be something that was hard wired into your brain. You might've just had that turn off there when you were born. It could be inexplicable.

    I don't think everything necessarily has to have a reason, to be honest.

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