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Thread: I guess you could call this acceptance...

  1. #1

    Default I guess you could call this acceptance...

    Hey everyone. I'm 19 years old heading into my second year at college, and I'm finally accepting the side of me that enjoys diapers. I honestly cannot remember for the life of me when or how it started, only that when I was younger, I stole a few diapers from neighbors' houses and tried them on - and although I was embarassed, I really enjoyed the feeling.

    I haven't been able to wear them in a while because I'm really embarrassed by my secret, and I can't buy any online without my parents seeing the credit card bills, and I don't want them to ask. I tried running away from this side of me for a while, and it worked briefly, but I can't really fight it any longer.

    The person I'm most afraid of finding out (and in that respect, telling) is my girlfriend of one year who is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I did tell her about my other huge secret, which is that I feel like a lesbian in the body of a boy (I enjoy being a guy, but if I had the option to start life over as the other gender, I would - but I'm not attracted to men at all, only women), and she was very accepting of it - she even offered to bring me shopping with her and pick out some clothes for her, but I told her that might be a little too awkward for me since I was just accepting it myself.

    I kind of want to tell her about this, but I keep feeling as if it's going to be "too much" for her, and I don't want her to leave. On the flip side, I act like a total boy all the time - I play video games, blues guitar, I skateboard - nothing I do ever tips off these other sides of me, and I feel like that would make it easier to cope with?

    I realize this is a lot to read and quite the introduction, but I just needed to come on here to figure out who I really am, what I want, and talk to people who understand exactly how I feel and have probably been in similar situations. It's been nice lurking, and hopefully you guys can help me sort myself out haha.

  2. #2


    I think most of us on this site feel your pain, and your frustration. I told my soon to be wife things about myself, even that I lived as a gay male all through college, but I never told her about my need for diapers. Like you, I was way too embarrassed. The first several years of our marriage I did without, but after a while, I succumbed. Eventually she found out and was very accepting.

    You will have to face that crossroad. Can you live the rest of your life never indulging in your desire to wear diapers, or will you risk telling your girl friend. If you become very serious, then I think you should tell, because it's only fair to her. There is a fail safe in all of this. If she cannot abide your wearing diapers, and if living with her forever is better than living with diapers, you can still sacrifice the diapers for her constant companionship.

  3. #3


    First of all, welcome to ADISC!

    Second of all, I'm not sure if you're still living with your parents - I'm guessing you do, because you said they can see the credit card bills and stuff... if you can hide stuff somewhere, you could still buy diapers in real life with cash. You're 19 (the same age I am!), so spending a couple of bucks on something isn't going to raise their suspicion too easily, I guess.

    As for your girlfriend, nobody can be exactly sure about the best way to tell it, but I'm pretty sure you'll have to tell it eventually. Don't rush it, but don't wait forever either. There are a lot of tips available on this forum, so if you're looking for some inspiration - by all means, lurk and/or participate in these discussions!

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