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Thread: I Need Somebody To Talk To..

  1. #1

    Default I Need Somebody To Talk To..

    I'm scared to talk about this to anyone. I'm scared to talk to any of my friends, or anyone else. I just need someone to vent to..

    Well, my girlfriend, we'll call her K. I met her in 2005 and we've been dating since 2009. I love her a lot.. However, I think our relationship is falling apart..

    A few weeks ago, we got into a big fight and almost broke up. We stopped talking for a few days, and I thought about this other girl. We'll call her V.

    Well, I thought about her for a while. Not in a creepy perverted way. And then I realized that I really liked V. A lot. I get butterflies when I'm around her and make up stupid things just to talk to her.

    I want to tell V how I feel about her. But at the same time I don't want to hurt K. It's really hard.. I know the right thing to do would be to break up with her, but I don't want her to hate me..

    The truth is, I've been thinking of breaking up for K for a while.. I never let her know this of course, it would crush her. But, according to her, I make her feel bad. I don't give her the attention that she wants. She wants my every dying minute to be about her. I can't hang out with friends, or do anything at all because I didn't invite her. She has bad trust issues because one of her ex's cheated on her.

    At the same time, she hurts me. She teases me because of my incontinence, and she's threatened to tell all her friends..

    I don't have the heart to break up with someone, but I really like V and want to see what will happen..

    I argue and argue and argue with K and I try to resolve things with her, but she does it again. Whenever I try to resolve something, she starts to cry and act like whatever she did was my fault. She always plays innocent and gets mad over the stupidest things, like when I have my own opinion.

    My heart wants me to put this relationship to rest, but I don't think I can take the emotional stress.




    Why do I get myself involved in serious relationships...? ;^;

  2. #2

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    Oh dear >.< sounds like you need a hug! You've pretty much stated what you know needs to happen, and now it's a matter of getting your feelings out to K. From lots of experience I can tell you that she will be much more upset if she finds out you've been putting off breaking up with her, so the sooner the better. And it is really hard to hurt someone you care about, but it seems to me like she doesn't respect you, especially making fun of your incontinence and crying when you try to work through issues with her. I bet you really will feel a lot better once you part ways with K, and then you can be in a happy place emotionally to pursue a healthy relationship with V. Good luck and best wishes!

  3. #3

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    Hey SlowBro,

    If you're in a relationship with a girl who teases you because of your disability, and it appears as if K is using it as some contorted advantage or weapon over you, then I just find it abusive, and it's a just cause to leave. Especially if it's nothing new and has been going on for years, making me think that that is really cruel.

    If you really wanted to hyper-extend your comfort zone, pursue your interest in V - maybe open up to her with your relationship problems. And if K has a problem with it, just leave her. It sounds the relationship is becoming more poisonous for the both of you than it is that of a growing and loving one; it is time to become courageous and break it off somehow.

    You should never have to apologize for who you are, and you're making yourself unhappy to please an unhappier woman.

  4. #4

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    I was in similar situation few years ago so I knew how you feel. I can say it wasn't easy process.

    I think it was mean of K using your secret as a leverage to keep you in the relationship with her. For the sake of happiness and emotions, it would be the best if you leave K, despite the threat. Just don't talk with her friends anymore if she actually tell them about your secret. It just shows that K are immature and don't really know how to handle a serious relationship well enough. I wouldn't recommend you to do this but if it's necessary to reduce the emotional strain on yourself and you are sure of doing the right thing, leave K via e-mail or online. I did this and I know it's not nice but... it's just my way to deal with it since I can't stand of my gf (ex now) getting all mad and crying at me. After that, don't see or talk with K for a while to let things cool down... eventually, maybe you and K will be friends. Meanwhile after leaving K, you can start things slowly with V and see how it goes from there.

    Regardless, I hope the best for you though.

  5. #5

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    Thanks for all of your support guys. I've been trying to talk to V and actually get to know her before I spill my emotions all over the place. I think the problem with K is that when I broke up with my last girlfriend I rushed into a relationship with her. It must be to get rid of that empty void we all feel after we end a serious relationship.

    Really though, thank-you all! <3

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by SlowBro View Post
    She teases me because of my incontinence, and she's threatened to tell all her friends..
    Deal breaker right there in my opinion.



    Quote Originally Posted by SlowBro View Post
    She has bad trust issues because one of her ex's cheated on her.
    Do everyone a favor here, and if you're wanting to break up with her, and you're wanting to see someone else, break up with her first. If you're serious about wanting to break up with her, the sooner the better.



    Quote Originally Posted by SlowBro View Post
    My heart wants me to put this relationship to rest, but I don't think I can take the emotional stress.
    There's nothing really to say to help you with this that I know of. I also have a hard time hurting/rejecting other people. The only time I actually broke up with someone... I had to do it like a mental band aid or anything you know is going to hurt... you bear down, decide you're going to do it... and then you don't think of it as something you're deciding. You think of it as something that's already decided and you just go through the motion to initiate it while not thinking about the consequences.

    I did not enjoy doing it, but it was for the best. For both of us.



    Quote Originally Posted by SlowBro View Post
    I think the problem with K is that when I broke up with my last girlfriend I rushed into a relationship with her. It must be to get rid of that empty void we all feel after we end a serious relationship.
    Many people have this problem. I've watched several friends move from relationship to relationship... weeks at most going by in between them... moving in with each other... it's a very unhealthy thing.

  7. #7
    teamaster

    Default

    You should talk to V and see if she will hook up with you.If you really find K to cause you more bad than good, stop talking to her and break up.K does not deserve you

  8. #8

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    Good news guys! I got V's number. c:

    Bad news, I still don't have the heart to let K go.. :c

  9. #9

    Default

    Sounds like K's being a bit abusive with you (mental games and all). Cutting K would be opening a wound, but time will heal it. Let her go because it's only going down hill with her.

  10. #10

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    One more thought. Since you are 17, are you a graduating senior, and will you be going to college. The distance in college relationships often creates endings. My girlfriend from high school broke up with me about a month into college. We were at different schools. I suspect you ending this relationship is inevitable, so you might as well end it now. Good luck. These things are never easy.

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