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Thread: ABs, DLs and the Mommy Thing

  1. #1

    Default ABs, DLs and the Mommy Thing

    Hey All
    In response to a recent posting in this forum about a "telling one's wife went bad" I had some thoughts about the experience of ABs as compared to DLs in the partnership aspects of our sexuality. Is it harder for DLs than ABs to share our desires?

    My sense is that DLs really seem to perceive this as a fetish whereas ABs as less strictly object oriented. It appears that incorporating one's ABism would be easier since one could avoid "diaper" stuff and focus more on shared aspects of ageplay such as bath time, toys and games, breastfeeding, caressing and tickling, rather than just wearing a diaper as an adjunct to sex. While a partner willing to play mommy or daddy isn't exactly easy to find, the role is expansive enough to avoid some of the yuckier aspects of ABDLhood, and the loving care exhibited on both sides (baby and mommy/daddy) reflects and patterns of affectionate love experienced in both purely adult relationships and child/adult relationships.

    Not that we have it "easy" or anything.

    It really makes one wonder what is the different etiology of our respective sexualities. How does one gain an attraction for all aspects of baby life versus just the diaper? Any theories?


  2. #2


    No deep and complex theories as yet - it's late and I've had a shit day at work. But...

    I don't believe it's easier for AB's at all. For all the 'other' things we might enjoy - the bottles, stuffed toys, pacis and onesies etc - we almost always inevitably begin to crave someone to share it with.

    In short, DL's can engage in the activity themselves and may well prefer to, in fact. It's something they can keep to themselves and enjoy BY themselves. AB's, however - because they have the entire MINDSET - often strive for more, i.e a caretaker to share it with. Their experience will be so much enhanced by having that other person involved and it fits in with the general fantasy/lifestyle. DL's don't need that.

    Dammit, I think I've waffled. Bedtime for me, and I shall re-read and edit tomorrow.

  3. #3


    It's really the same, just with different issues.
    Pure DLism is more or less just a kink, and may not require much attention. If someone asks about it, you can say why by just going, "It turns me on" or "I'm just a sensual type of person." However, ABism takes much longer to explain, and even longer to get used to, but, I think, you can make non-ABs understand it better, with time. After all, childhood is a happy thing for most people.

    PS Breastfeeding as an AB practice is really a bit weird and wrong to me- almost like a type of intercourse specific to our fetish. Then again, I was never breastfed as a real baby, so it kind of grosses me out in general.

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