Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Need help with binge and purge

  1. #1

    Default Need help with binge and purge

    I was wondering if anyone can give me good advice on how to get over my diaper binge and purge cycles. I want to at least get my diaper purchasing under control because of how much it is costing me. I have a few times spent $40 on diapers only to throw them all away the next day. If anyone has had any luck at least getting this under control, could you share with me what worked for doing it?

  2. #2

    Default

    The first step to getting over a binge/purge is accepting that you are an ABDL, and that your urges will never truly leave you. Once you are happy with who you are as a person, and understand that it's not your fault, and there's nothing *strictly* wrong with you, you can start to manage the cycle.

    For me, its simply keeping a supply around. I don't wear that much, but I find that when I don't have any, I want to wear more and more. Knowing that I have some if I need them just helps me keep things in balance really!

    So once you spend $40 on them, keep them hidden but close by. Accept that they are there when you need them, and when you don't they are safely hidden.

    That's pretty much all I have to do to avoid a cycle. Hope it helps! *hugs*

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by eeyore View Post
    The first step to getting over a binge/purge is accepting that you are an ABDL, and that your urges will never truly leave you.
    This is the key. Once you understand this, the purge phase shouldn't hit quite as hard. I used to feel so guilty/wrong/confused etc, but I realised it was much better to imagine it like taking a break.

    A good tactic that works for me: keep your stash in a safe, hidden place so you can completely forget about it! I even pile a few sheets and covers on top of mine, so it feels like I'm putting it out of my mind. Two good things with this approach: you feel more at ease knowing that if and when the cravings return, you won't become anxious with having to hunt down more supplies, and secondly you'll save a lot of money!

  4. #4

    Default

    My main issue seems to come when I have a huge stash. I get excited about buying diapers and even putting them on, but it is shortly after I have them on that the feelings of guilt start in. I've tried 24/7 before, but the longest I've gone is 1 day. I've even considered making myself a bedwetter or even completely incontinent, but I honestly don't think this is something I would do. Once the feelings of guilt set in, I usually tear off the diaper I've been wearing and some times throw away the rest of my stash.

    I've also been hoping to fix this since I just moved out of my parents house and am on my own. I see people are suggesting keeping them in a stash, but I wonder how well hidden I would need to keep my diapers since it's just me in my apartment. I've tried keeping my diapers in my dresser drawers, but am slightly worried about someone discovering them if I have company over. I would find it odd for my friends to go through dresser drawers, but when my parents are over, my mom has a tendency to make me clean up the place a little bit. I don't know if making sure my place is extra tidy when I know my parents are coming over will help or if I need to come up with a secure stash for these occasions. Of course, my main concern right now is helping the binge purge. Now that I'm on my own, I have a smaller budget for diapers which means I can't really afford these $40 binge/purge cycles.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Breeze View Post
    This is the key. Once you understand this, the purge phase shouldn't hit quite as hard. I used to feel so guilty/wrong/confused etc, but I realised it was much better to imagine it like taking a break.

    A good tactic that works for me: keep your stash in a safe, hidden place so you can completely forget about it! I even pile a few sheets and covers on top of mine, so it feels like I'm putting it out of my mind. Two good things with this approach: you feel more at ease knowing that if and when the cravings return, you won't become anxious with having to hunt down more supplies, and secondly you'll save a lot of money!
    I completely agree with Breeze here accepting yourself is key, as well as having a well hidden stash. Having a good spot puts ease on your mind, allowing you to just forget about the guilt.

  6. #6

    Default

    An alternative method is to try and control your binging - I know the unit price is more expensive, but just buying 5 - 10 diapers (or however much you use on a binge) using them up, and then seeing if you want to buy more is a method that works for me :-)

    (A smaller stash of diapers is also much easier to hide of course, I know what a pain worrying about prying eyes can be)

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Ponyprincessboy View Post
    My main issue seems to come when I have a huge stash. I get excited about buying diapers and even putting them on, but it is shortly after I have them on that the feelings of guilt start in.
    I have to beg to differ with you a bit - the size of your stash and buying excitement might seem to be the core issue for you, but I don't think this is so. For many of us, the primary reasons for purging those items from our lives are things like shame, self-condemnation, fear, etc... Thus if you deal with the underlying cause of the purge, the amount of diapers you buy will become of smaller consequence.

    I don't think what Breeze or the others are saying that you need to go 24/7 to accept yourself - but more simply that you need to come to a place of acceptance with the reality of having these compulsions essentially for the rest of your life. Almost everything I've read out there on the internet that has a scholarly tone to it reiterates that this particular paraphilia (or however you want to define it) never fully goes away no matter the treatment.

    Ask yourself 'why?' the purge...what emotions are going through your mind in the moments leading to a purge. The possibilities above are likely but not exclusive: Fear, Shame, Guilt, self-judgment, are very strong motivators. Where do these emotions come from? What is driving you to believe them? For many of us, the source of our behavior lies way under the surface. Good luck Pony - courage in seeking balance.

  8. #8

    Default

    The emotions that accompany my purges are usually feelings of guilt. For me, diapers are largely a fetish thing, and when I indulge in these feelings is usually when the guilt and self judgement begins. It usually involves some fear of being found out along with feeling totally disgusted with myself to accusing myself of being some sort of pedophile for having these feelings about diapers.

  9. #9

    Default

    At your point about being afraid of guests in your apartment finding your stash, a good idea might be to purchase a lockable filing cabinet to store them in, or if your stash isn't that large, a large lockable toolbox or chest should do just fine.

    At your point about purging, willpower is key. Only you have the power to control your feelings of self hatred and guilt. Just remember you're not alone, and albeit your interest in diapers may be strange, nobody is judging you more than you're judging yourself.

  10. #10

    Default

    I used to binge and purge too, although it wasn't on as fast a cycle. Everybody knows why we binge -- why do we purge? Well, I purged because I had guilt-like feelings and wanted them to go away. I say "guilt-like" because it wasn't really guilt -- I was afraid of discovery and what might happen if I were discovered and word got around that I liked diapers and baby things; I still thought there was a such thing as a normal life and thought I should be leading one; I thought that nobody could possibly like, let alone love, somebody who was so weird. I also thought I was the only one in the world. (This was pre-Internet.) These feelings were guilt-like because I felt as if there was a way I should be, and I wasn't being like that.

    For me what changed things was discovering that I wasn't the only one. That was one of the greatest epiphanies of my life, bigger than "OMG, Reagan is either incompetent or lying." Obviously that isn't the case for you; you already know you're not alone. The binge-purge cycles stopped as I resolved never to throw everything out again.

    Later on I went to therapy, and the biggest lesson I learned there was that there were only two ways to go: if you're feeling guilty about a behavior, you can either get rid of the behavior or get rid of the guilt. I knew well that the behavior wasn't going to go away. I'd tried many times to make it go away, and it only came back. So getting rid of the guilt was the only choice. I took a harder look at the guilt-like feelings and saw that they were phantom guilt. There wasn't some way that I was "supposed" to be and wasn't. The way I was supposed to be was -- the way I was. I had been following a path somebody else laid down and was punishing myself whenever I went off that path. I hadn't made my own path; I hadn't even evaluated that path to see whether it was right for me. I'd followed it blindly.

    I'm still working on making my own path. That's a job that probably won't end. I hope this helps in some way.

Similar Threads

  1. My start and the binge and purge
    By squashNstretch in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 13-May-2011, 08:52
  2. Binge purge
    By Mr Alex in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 03-Apr-2008, 19:14

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.