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Thread: Why does everyone say it's a fetish?

  1. #1

    Default Why does everyone say it's a fetish?

    This has me quite confused. I keep hearing here and elsewhere, the idea of being an ABDL being considered a fetish. It's almost always referred to as a fetish. I don't understand why, because from what I've observed and my own experience, it's not sexual at all for the majority.

    It's the same thing with furries. "Furry" is also usually called a fetish, even though it's more of a subculture thing than anything else.

    I don't have a problem if people have a fetish or whatever, it just confuses me that these things are constantly referred to as fetishes when they aren't always. Why is this?

  2. #2

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    Because it's a fetish.

    Honestly, for the overwhelming majority of those who wear diapers for choice, the diapers are a sexual thing. For me, diapers are often sexual (occasionally I am in a little headspace, and when I am diapers are not sexual). Diapers are a non-person sexual stimulus, meaning they're a kink or a fetish for some.

    In the case of furries, I don't know how many get a sexual thing out of it. I know a fair number do, and those are the ones that get the airtime. Even if the majority of furries don't get a sexual charge from it, there are enough of them that do to make that the perception.

  3. #3

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    well my friend it's called a fetish because it's a sex driven world. that's just the way the people of it are.
    personally i hate the way they call it a fetish. wen it is not.


    (not meant to be vulgar)

    lilbabygirl<3

  4. #4
    Loopygone

    Default

    It's the easiest way to refer to it that most people would understand. Most things that people call a fetish aren't by the dictionary definition.


    Quote Originally Posted by MerriumWebster
    c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
    I think for most people who get a sexual kick out of abdlism, they can still get off with out thinking out about it, or wearing.

    Also it is sexual for the vast majority, all the people on all those other sites? It just seems that recently it get's looked down on here, so a lot of people (teens especially) say it isn't so they don't look weird, kinda ironic really :X. For me there is a sexual side, and a I dunno how to describe it, well a none sexual side :P. Sexualised it's all about humiliation and being dominated. None sexual it's about being cared for and feeling safe.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopy View Post
    It's the easiest way to refer to it that most people would understand. Most things that people call a fetish aren't by the dictionary definition.


    I think for most people who get a sexual kick out of abdlism, they can still get off with out thinking out about it, or wearing.

    Also it is sexual for the vast majority, all the people on all those other sites? It just seems that recently it get's looked down on here, so a lot of people (teens especially) say it isn't so they don't look weird, kinda ironic really :X. For me there is a sexual side, and a I dunno how to describe it, well a none sexual side :P. Sexualised it's all about humiliation and being dominated. None sexual it's about being cared for and feeling safe.
    You make a good point about kink versus fetish.

    As for your last point, you sound like me, in that if I'm in an adult headspace and padded, it's sexual. If I'm in a little headspace and padded, it is not sexual, but is instead a reinforcement of that little, vulnerable, safe, cared for headspace.

  6. #6

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    Again, AB, DL, ABDL, and Furries, are all Fetishes, and there is absolutely no denying it.

    Even if you say it's not sexual, it's still a fetish, due to what the word "fetish" really means. While most times the word is connotativley used as "sexual fetish," The word "fetish" is not limited to sexual situations, or attributions. Fetish means an attraction to an object or idea (A loose definition, but true, the historical definition coming from Portugal with a supernatural definition: "Essentially, fetishism is the attribution of inherent value or powers to an object.").

    So, what we should learn from this is that we ALL HAVE A FETISH. I'm not trying to offend anyone, it's just a fact, whether you get sexual gratification from the acts, or not, is not relevant, the non-sexual, or sexual, attraction tho the act or idea makes it a fetish. We need to get over the connotation of the word, and accept it as descriptive.

  7. #7
    crazykittensmile

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    It bothers me that it is called a fetish as well, because for me it is completely non-sexual. However, it is true that for the vast majority of people wearing diapers does have a sexual side, which may or may not be a dominant aspect of wearing. It may be that women are less likely to see this as a fetish than men; a survey by Understanding Infantilism found that women put let emphasis on wearing diapers for sexual pleasure - Understanding Infantalism generally assumes being a DL to mean wearing for sexual pleasure and about 75% of men reported their DL side was equal or more important than their AB side (if they had an AB side at all). Only about 55% of women reported the same.



    I guess it does demonstrate though that for the majority of people there is some sexual aspect though, and that may be why it is called a fetish. It is also somewhat recognised that for many people being an AB is not sexual, however, diapers can be. being an adult baby gets called a fetish, although for many I don't think many of the AB things they do (using a pacifier, drinking from a bottle, wearing babyish clothes, watching cartoons etc) offer them sexual pleasure. Often I think the ABs for whom wearing diapers is a fetish derive sexual pleasure from the diaper itself, and perhaps the sensation of using it or the acts of humiliation etc, more so than the actual babying. Although that said I may be wrong, I assume that for most the idea of being cared for as an infant isn't the sexual aspect of this 'fetish' but I guess that is the way I have come to understand it, I don't speak from personal experience though.

    As I said though it does bother me that this is often referred to as a fetish, and that anybody who I told was an adult baby who cared to do any internet research would be met with lots of information describing this as a fetish and would thus assume that diapers are arousing or exciting to me, when they are far from it and are really just another aspect of feeling little for me. But I think that if Understanding Infantilism's survey can be trusted to be representative of AB/DLs as a whole (I'm not sure if it can?) then we can see that this is a fetish for most, and that being an AB often comes second to that for both males and females, and so I guess that it is assumed that being an AB is an extension of the fetish for most, rather than something that exists on it's own; >10% and 15% respectively of males and females reported they were only ABs, compared to <20% and <15% reporting that they are DLs. It can be seen from the graph that the majority of wearers lean more towards the diaper loving side than the adult baby side.

    Although that said, if you are somebody who doesn't wear for sexual pleasure, but isn't an AB I guess you would have chosen DL too so maybe everything I have just typed isn't that helpful at all as maybe some of the DLs don't wear for sexual pleasure; I used to describe myself as a DL because I wore in my adult mindset often, and only later realised most people's interpretation of the term 'diaper lover' was someone who wore for sexual gratification and stopped using the term as I didn't feel it described me accurately. Hmm, I think I have gone off-topic now anyway...

  8. #8

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    I see. Thanks all for helping me understand this better. I can see why it would be considered a fetish now, though i don't necessarily agree with it. Not that it's wrong, just that it's not 100% a sexual fetish.

    I guess from what I've seen it's just most people wear diapers because of the comfort aspect and not so much the sexual aspect.
    Though I think the word "fetish" is mostly used to describe a sexual interest. I think that it's not so much the dictionary definition of things that matter so much as how they are used and in what context.

    It does bother me that it's assumed to be a fetish for everyone though. I've always seen it referred to as "this fetish" rather than "this interest" or "this subculture". I know that it is sexual for a lot of people, but not always, so I think it should be referred to as a fetish more on a personal level rather than an overall level. I think it's more of a lifestyle/hobby/coping mechanism that happens to also be a fetish for some, rather than a fetish that happens to be a lifestyle/hobby/coping mechanism for some.

    I think it's the same way for furries. Like as people said here that a lot of ABDL's have a fetish for diapers, a lot of furries have a fetish for anthropomorphic animals, but at the same time, there are also a lot who don't get sexual grafitication from diapers or furries. Anything can be a fetish, but I don't think that being interested in certain things should people assume that it's a fetish for everyone.

  9. #9

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    I don't get a sexual thrill from it, or furry-fandom. I'm just a furry who happens to like diapers. :x

    However, I label myself as a diaper-fetishist because that's what people will immediately understand as to what it is.
    I could call myself an "infantalist," which I also do, but other people wouldn't understand quite as easily if I was explaining it to them.

    By calling it a fetish they immediately begin to understand what it is, and I can get to the proper explanation.

    Like with my nephew. When I told him, I told him to google "infantalist," instead of straight up explaining what it was. He googled it and he didn't quite get it at first. So I simply said that it was, more-or-less, a fetish for diapers. He instantly could grasp the idea of it, which let me explain further and easier.

  10. #10

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    It's because it's the easiest way for "outsiders" to grip *BDLism. I'm not saying that it's right, but that's why. Either because ABs didn't know how to explain it to a bunch of people, or a bunch of people started perceiving the whole thing as a fetish. In either case, it really just varies from person to person. Like for me, I love wearing diapers and doing babyish things, but it's not sexual unless a female would be involved somehow, whether she's wearing diapers, or babying me.

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