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Thread: So what should I ask him to do?

  1. #1

    Default So what should I ask him to do?

    I just warmed up my bf to the idea of being into AB stuff, and he said he was cool with it, and he'd try it next time I asked. So I've been thinking. What the heck am I going to ask? I want to start with something slow and simple, but I'm just not sure. What do you guys think I should start with? Oh and I am the AB by the way, not him, so I mean what should I ask him to do to/with me.

  2. #2

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    Maby you should just ask him to wear diapers and tell him that he doesnt have to wet. Or you could just ask him what he's comfortable with.

  3. #3

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    To echo what Spazzshepherd said, asking him to wear one would probably be the best move, aswell as asking him what he'd like to do/get out of the experience. If he says he doesn't know, tell him what you like to do, and what you'd like to do with him, and ask him what he's most comfortable with.

    This does however, very much depend on his personality. Every relationship generally tends to have a dominant and submissive one; whether that be emotionally, sexually, or sensually depends couple to couple. If in your relationship you are the dominant one (and he's submissive), or you both tend to be on equal terms, then asking him to wear a diaper with you in a casual manner is probably the best place to start. However, if he's the dominant one, you have to realise that to a complete novice, diapers come with very babyish connotations.

    For lots of people, it goes against everything they've been taught during potty training. You'd be surprised how much of that remains into adulthood too. He might not feel the most comfortable sacrificing his adulthood, albeit for a short period of time. He also might feel awkward, or even worry about his self image. Lots of men like to appear all macho and manly :P. He might enjoy it though. There's no real way of knowing unless you ask him .

    If he is dominant, you might want to consider pursuing some sort of little person/caretaker roleplaying. Approaching this might be a little more difficult.

    In the end it does all depend on you two. Approach it slowly. Allow things to progress on there own, and allow him to become comfortable with how things are progressing, and above all make sure you both know what you're getting into with each other. You know what's involved and you've come to terms with who you are, but his only exposure to AB/DL is through you. I would encourage him to do his own research and explore some forums, maybe even chat with some ABs .

    I hope that helps

  4. #4
    Loopygone

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    I'm going to go against these two, and say you shouldn't ask him to wear. Not yet at least. He's new to the whole idea, so you want to make it normal. Just wear round him, snuggle up to each other on the couch whilst you're padded, or sleep padded. Just make it seem like it isn't a big deal .

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopy View Post
    I'm going to go against these two, and say you shouldn't ask him to wear. Not yet at least. He's new to the whole idea, so you want to make it normal. Just wear round him, snuggle up to each other on the couch whilst you're padded, or sleep padded. Just make it seem like it isn't a big deal .
    I was suggesting she test the water on both sides of the coin. What she should do, very much depends on who her boyfriend is, in terms of his character, kinks, emotions, charisma etc :3.

    While I agree with what Loopy's said about wearing around him. Making it "not a big deal", and therefore not talking to him about it, might make him feel uncomfortable. It's always best to be open and honest about these things with your partner. I think in his place, I'd want to be prepared for the first time. If you talk to him about it, the more prepared he will be, and the more open he might be to try things with you.

  6. #6
    Loopygone

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    I didn't mean just wear and don't tell him :P I just guessed from the OP that this has already been talked about, and discussed at length. A simple "do you mind if I go put on a nappy?" would suffice. Make him aware you're wearing, and that it's something you like. Just don't act too weirdly about it, otherwise it makes it weird you know? :P

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopy View Post
    I didn't mean just wear and don't tell him :P I just guessed from the OP that this has already been talked about, and discussed at length. A simple "do you mind if I go put on a nappy?" would suffice. Make him aware you're wearing, and that it's something you like. Just don't act too weirdly about it, otherwise it makes it weird you know? :P
    Yeah I'd agree with that sentiment. I might mention it in the morning or something though. That way he has the day to think it over.

    I might be over thinking things here. Better to be safe about it though XD.

  8. #8

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    I agree...you wearing (with his knowledge) would be a good first step. It's what I had to do to introduce my mate to everything. Try keep it all limited to yourself (wearing, putting it on, changing, etc) first so he can see it without testing his (personal) comfort zone. Always ask for his thoughts as things progress and see when/if he warms up to taking part in either doing it 'to' you, you to him, himself, etc etc.

    Also, love the avatar .

  9. #9

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    Hmmm, is the goal to get him into diapers too or is the goal to get him used to you being your AB self around him and possibly get him involved in a "daddy" role or other AB play?

    I am not sure about what you ought to start with as I'm not really all that much in the AB stuff and I don't know exactly how much you warmed him up but I'd say that, as suggested above, getting him (and you) to be comfortable while you wear a diaper around him would be a good start.

    Depending on how fast that goes you can move on with other more baby-like things like adding in a paci, a sippy cup or having him feed you a bottle or something.

  10. #10

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    Well, being a guy he's probably not going to be that adept at diapering. So I personally think it would be good to start by letting him watch you diaper yourself. As you do it you could tell him why you use the powder, the lotion, etc. and show him what a diaper looks like on you. Then maybe cuddle with him so he gets the feel of what it's like to be next to you while wearing a diaper.

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