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Thread: Punishment

  1. #1

    Default Punishment

    Like most people here, I have often wondered why a healthy, normal person would have a desire to wear diapers. We surmise that it had something to do with events in our childhood, although the exact circumstance is hard to pinpoint. I know this... I had a very abusive mother, and a stepdad that was rarely around. I'm quite certain my mother hated me, I was the product of a short fling she had with a man that left her immediately after finding out she was pregnant. Probably some guy she met in a bar, I never knew who he was. This was in the early 60's, and prior to that she had divorced her 1st husband, and already had my older brother and sister. Abortion wasn't an option back then, although she reminded me on several occassions that if it had been, I wouldn't be here.

    One thing my mother enjoyed was humiliating me any chance she could. I was often placed in diapers and plastic pants for the least little infraction until I entered school. I was made to use them as a baby would, I can vividly remember trying to hold everything in, hoping she would let me out of them in time and I could be a big boy. (It wasn't until years later that I figured out she would only take them off of me AFTER I had humiliated myself.) I would plead with her to let me use the toilet, and all she would say is "when you stop acting like a baby, then you can go back to using the bathroom". She cursed like a sailor, calling me names like "shitty britches" and "shit pants". When I could no longer hold it in, I had to let her know, and was made to squat in front of her as I felt the horrible mess fill the seat of my diapers. She had this smirk on her face, and would tell me thats all I was, a dirty stinky baby, and was made to sit in it until she could no longer tolerate the smell, usually only a few minutes. I can remember the cigarette hanging from her mouth as she would unpin the diaper and cleaning me up before sending me to take a bath.

    I don't understand how anyone could get any kind of pleasure out of making their child feel that kind of embarrassment, maybe it made her feel like she was in control. I never even thought about diapers again until I hit puberty, not sure what aroused the desire, but I can remember pinning on an old towel and cutting holes in the bottom corners of a trash bag and pulling it on like plastic pants before wetting them. As the years went by I did this in private for many years, got on with my life, got married, had children of my own, and rarely indulged in this. I hid these desires from my wife the whole time, unfortunately after 10 years we divorced.

    A few years later I met a woman that I felt I could open up to, and it was only because she loved having her breasts sucked on, it was "stimulating" for her. After educating her on what a DL is, she seemed accepting of it, and after a while even encouraged me to use them while I was at her breast. I don't need to fill in all the details but lets just say I felt like I was very blessed for a couple of years. As luck would have it, she also drank a little more than I was comfortable with, and would become very demeaning at times, so we split up.

    I don't know why I would have a desire to do something I found terribly humiliating when I was young, I just don't understand the physcology of it at all. I hate myself for it sometimes. I think I have spent my entire life looking for a loving, nurturing mother type figure, someone who loves me for me. I am told that I am a passonate and unselfish lover, and I know that I would spoil her to no end if I found that special someone who wouldn't mind indulging me on occassion. I think I'm just going to have to settle for being single the rest of my life. Fortunately I AM blessed with many friends, don't have a single problem getting a date, but I have to face the reality that I shouldn't drag someone else through this.

    Wow, I've been holding this inside for so long, it feels good to get it off my chest!

  2. #2

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    I definitely feel the same way about being afraid of being single my whole life. Your advantage is that you don't have trouble making friends like I do.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dangitbawb View Post
    Wow, I've been holding this inside for so long, it feels good to get it off my chest!
    Doesn't it, though?

    Prepare yourself, though. Quite a few will raise an eyebrow at this post and wonder if it's not a fap fantasy. I grew up with a violently disciplinarian mother (I swear, the woman read Tough Love and forgot the "love" part), so I tend to not go into too much in the way of details about what I saw and experienced in childhood. I do know that the DL chased me around from early puberty right on up until the present, and it was an incredible feeling to open up to my wife about it and not have her freak out about me first wanting to act out humiliation scenes with her as the submissive, and then wanting her to play the dom role in similar scenes. I guess I'm fortunate she was a dancer in a past life, and had seen just about everything.

  4. #4

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    Yes, I worried when telling my story that some will think it is fantasy, since I didn't put every single detail in, and so be it. The humiliation was real, and I can't seem to put it behind me. Unfortunately this is just one of many incidents I could share, but just sharing this one makes me feel like a huge weight has been lifted!

  5. #5

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    Believe me, I know exactly how it feels. Before I found this site, I was rapidly becoming convinced (to my horror) that the end result of the recurring fantasies and memories rattling around in the back of my head was going to be either kiddie porno/pedophilia or coprophagia/urolagnia, based on what I was seeing around the 'net.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by WBDaddy View Post
    Doesn't it, though?

    Prepare yourself, though. Quite a few will raise an eyebrow at this post and wonder if it's not a fap fantasy. I grew up with a violently disciplinarian mother (I swear, the woman read Tough Love and forgot the "love" part), so I tend to not go into too much in the way of details about what I saw and experienced in childhood. I do know that the DL chased me around from early puberty right on up until the present, and it was an incredible feeling to open up to my wife about it and not have her freak out about me first wanting to act out humiliation scenes with her as the submissive, and then wanting her to play the dom role in similar scenes. I guess I'm fortunate she was a dancer in a past life, and had seen just about everything.


    Quote Originally Posted by Dangitbawb View Post
    Yes, I worried when telling my story that some will think it is fantasy, since I didn't put every single detail in, and so be it. The humiliation was real, and I can't seem to put it behind me. Unfortunately this is just one of many incidents I could share, but just sharing this one makes me feel like a huge weight has been lifted!
    If you both told the exact same story, there would likely be two completely different reactions.

    My general rule of thumb when reading a story that doesn't seem likely (though still plausible) is to look at the post count and join date. If the post count is EXTREMELY low (less than whatever "regular" is called now, and extremely questionable if less than 50), or if they joined fairly recently (within the last month), then I tend to dismiss the stories as highly unlikely.

    While it is very possible that these things happened, it's not a realistic way to introduce yourself. It's sort of like going to a party and saying "Hi, my name's Joe and I'm friends with Chuck Norris". Yes, it is plausible. I'm sure Chuck Norris has a friend named Joe, and it is possible that at some point we may end up in the same room. At the same time, I don't know who this person is. If anything, it seems like he's just trying too hard to make a first impression.

    In other words, if WBDaddy posted this exact story, I'd probably have almost no doubt it was true, because he's put enough of his time into building a profile that it seems like a waste if all he wanted to do was make a lying post about how his mom abused him emotionally. On the other hand, while I'm not saying that I completely disbelieve this story, I do find that it's more likely than not that it's fake, based on the fact that most people that post this kind of story as a first or second post haven't built a trustworthy foundation upon which they can stand.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by WBDaddy View Post
    Prepare yourself, though. Quite a few will raise an eyebrow at this post and wonder if it's not a fap fantasy.
    Yeah that kinda crossed my mind, but I hope it's an honest thread. ADISC doesn't take kindly to dishonesty. And if it is a fantasy thread/post then the author is only wasting his/her time writing and joining and no one will care or think about the contents of the thread.

  8. #8

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    I have to agree with Zephy. Telling that kind of history is not the first thing most of us do. I don't even have a history like that, and everyone on this site knows I've run the gammit of weird experiences. That said, there was an era of diaper punishment perpetrated by very bad mothers, and everyone knows the child protective services barely function. I do believe however, that if I had a mother like that, once I was an adult, I would have knocked on her door, and when she opened it, hit her in the face with a cream pie, or perhaps, a dirty diaper.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephy View Post
    In other words, if WBDaddy posted this exact story, I'd probably have almost no doubt it was true, because he's put enough of his time into building a profile that it seems like a waste if all he wanted to do was make a lying post about how his mom abused him emotionally. On the other hand, while I'm not saying that I completely disbelieve this story, I do find that it's more likely than not that it's fake, based on the fact that most people that post this kind of story as a first or second post haven't built a trustworthy foundation upon which they can stand.
    Well, for what it's worth, I gave an account of my childhood very early on in my membership here that would raise a great deal of eyebrows - but because I was light on details and strong on emotion (particularly shame), no one questioned it. It's hard to make a "fap" story when you're not giving "fappish" details.

  10. #10

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    @ Zephy: Since I am new here, I won't waste another moment defending whether anyone believes me or not, or figuring out the proper way to introduce myself. I'm sure there are 50 more people that can find fault in my very 1st post, from typo's to sentence formation, if they are so inclined. I told my story to inform people of the reason I AM here in the first place, and to read stories about others who may have been through some of the same things I have, learn things that I didn't know, and who knows, maybe even have some questions answered. Whatever "general rule of thumb" you choose to use to determine the validity of any post is fine by me, glad to know you have a formula that works for you. I don't understand how humiliating a small child and calling them horrible names could ever be "fap material"?

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