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Thread: I'm done with religion, and something else...

  1. #1
    BernardFx

    Red face I'm done with religion, and something else...

    Not sure where I'm going with this, making a thread about it, but whatever.

    Today, it's been officially 2 weeks since I quit the Organization (Jehova's Witnesses). It was extremely hard for me to do so, because of this: Old thread. Here's the story:
    One Saturday evening, my family and I went to the mall, and right before leaving it, my mom threw a fit over my hair and beard, because I'm embarrassing her in front of the brothers of the congregation. My dad went at it with my mom in the middle of the food court. Well, we calmed down, and went home.

    But the next day (which was a meeting and preaching day) I didn't want to go to it, and decided to go with my dad to his softball practice. Right before leaving, my mom said we where going to talk about it. After coming back, I spent all day trying to hide from her. Still in the afternoon, she knocked on my door, opened it, and said: What are you doing in the computer? I know you talk to strangers! Let me ***** see! This lighted a discussion between the two of us. Well, after about 5 minutes of screaming, we sat down to talk about me. I ended up confessing to her that I really am a furry, that I still like diapers, that I have friends online because I feel understood by them, and that I don't have faith in that religion. She got very upset, and blamed herself, like if I was the product of her failure. We hugged, and ended up in good terms. Except that now she is extremely sad by this, maybe even suicidal.

    And today, it was my sister's turn to confess. She did so to the elders and to my mom. I can't say the sin she committed, because it's very personal. But I can say is that she will be expelled from the congregation.

    I've never felt this free in my whole life! Even though I still carry most of the habits with me, I have now more stuff I can do without having my mom throw a fit over! Yet, I am still feeling very bad for my mom...

    Oh, and thanks everybody that helped me through! The madness isn't over, but meh, good enough!

    P.S. to all people I owe a drawing, I am totally sorry school's been especially hard, plus this situation :/ But I will do them! No matter what!

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BernardFx View Post
    One Saturday evening, my family and I went to the mall, and right before leaving it, my mom threw a fit over my hair and beard, because I'm embarrassing her in front of the brothers of the congregation.
    Well you are only following the bible.

    Leviticus 19:27 "'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.


  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BernardFx View Post
    And today, it was my sister's turn to confess. She did so to the elders and to my mom. I can't say the sin she committed, because it's very personal. But I can say is that she will be expelled from the congregation.
    Wish I knew more about the JW thing. There's a church in town, but I'm waiting to get invited. People always talk about how folks from that church go around knocking on doors, but I haven't seen any in forever. Totally excited for the oppurtunity, cause I don't get it much, and I'd rather be told by someone who is into it to get that perspective and stuf. But this quote kinda makes me sad. Not sure what JW beliefs are, but Jesus was pretty big on forgiveness. Maybe they skipped that part? Or have a different book? Either way, casting the first stone, ya know?

    Also, glad you're like, doing your own thing now dude. Hope that you get whatever's going on sorted out and you can find your path in the Jedi way. Maybe find some God in a less oppressive environment. Or buy an ice cream.

  4. #4

    Default

    Lol, yeah, what's wrong with your hair?

    Anyways, she's your mom and you should care about her, but there's a point at which you have to live your own life, the way you see fit. In fact, this is why I have a big problem with people indoctrinating their kids with their religion. Kids are pretty much biologically wired to accept what adults say. Though the internet has been changing this by exposing people to new ideas, religion is not something that people should choose for their children. I can understand why your mother would be upset, but she has to understand that this is your decision not hers.

    I hope everything works out for you and that your family can reach some kind of normality.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by komodo View Post
    Lol, yeah, what's wrong with your hair?

    Anyways, she's your mom and you should care about her, but there's a point at which you have to live your own life, the way you see fit. In fact, this is why I have a big problem with people indoctrinating their kids with their religion. Kids are pretty much biologically wired to accept what adults say. Though the internet has been changing this by exposing people to new ideas, religion is not something that people should choose for their children. I can understand why your mother would be upset, but she has to understand that this is your decision not hers.

    I hope everything works out for you and that your family can reach some kind of normality.
    im gonna have to partly disagree because, for people like greeks italians russians, theres a massive intertwining between the religion and the national culture.

    so in that case its near unavoidable but that doesnt excuse you from indoctrinating your kids either, the key is balance.

  6. #6

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    BernardFox

    Glad you got away from JW...
    A good friend of mine used to be seriously involved - or let me say her family is made of strong believers/followers.
    She, not unlike you, had certain problems conforming to the system, didn't want to confess as she believed in god and god only and not some congregation in between her and god. (I don't get it fully as I'm not religious btw.)...
    When she said that she was done with JW and didn't want to belong to the congregation anylonger she was basically rejected by her family.
    Like being outcast...
    She was 17 back then and had to move out... but it was just too much... she moved in with a few friends and ever since walked her own way...

    I don't mind religion, and a good number of my friends have lot of believe in god/gods and I don't think it's bad to have faith but I really am not fond of any preaching / group / system which will dictate you a way of live and rip your family appart when you don't want to play by their rules anymore.

    I really hope your mom gets around and doesn't go all the way ballistic on your decision.
    you're in a tough spot - but I guess it helps that your sis' got kicked out... at least that way the two of you can stick together and weather the storm.
    good luck!

  7. #7

    Default

    All I know is the following... from experience.

    Religion can be really fun, for a time, but then you realize it sucks. That's just me, though.

    My mom also blamed herself, Bernard. She's cool with me being gay (I have lesbian grandmothers, thus making it easier for her to understand and be cool with), and me being a furry (She sees it as me having a 'spirit totem' and shit, so, whatevs), but she's still kinda iffy with my whole diaper situation.

    When Kids Love Diapers

    When my mom blamed herself, I showed her that website. It helped a lot. If you wanna have a read over it and maybe show her, it may help make your mom calm down a bit. I hope everything works out for you!

    ~Mikey, One-Seventeen

  8. #8

    Default

    I am glad that you've managed to leave that organization. I spent 15 years is a cult-like organization and can say from personal experience that things will get better. Things will be tough for a while as you find your place in the world outside of that religion. Your mother may always want you back in the church, but she will accept you more with time. You will likely lose most of the friendships you made in that church, but you'll make truer ones. There may be a lot of confusion and anger at religion, but that will subside with time and understanding. You've made the first difficult step towards a far better life. Take care.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tommygun View Post
    BernardFox

    Glad you got away from JW...
    A good friend of mine used to be seriously involved - or let me say her family is made of strong believers/followers.
    She, not unlike you, had certain problems conforming to the system, didn't want to confess as she believed in god and god only and not some congregation in between her and god. (I don't get it fully as I'm not religious btw.)...
    When she said that she was done with JW and didn't want to belong to the congregation anylonger she was basically rejected by her family.
    Like being outcast...
    She was 17 back then and had to move out... but it was just too much... she moved in with a few friends and ever since walked her own way...

    I don't mind religion, and a good number of my friends have lot of believe in god/gods and I don't think it's bad to have faith but I really am not fond of any preaching / group / system which will dictate you a way of live and rip your family appart when you don't want to play by their rules anymore.

    I really hope your mom gets around and doesn't go all the way ballistic on your decision.
    you're in a tough spot - but I guess it helps that your sis' got kicked out... at least that way the two of you can stick together and weather the storm.
    good luck!
    im gonna agree there,

    ill confess that the orthodox church as well, not as badly as the catholics in certain areas, but they could generally stand to make some changes in terms if nothing else in the culture. of the church. the reason being that the church is orthodox, and as a result is very hidebound, in fact one of the things people BOAST about the church is that its changed very little since the early christian communities n the 1st-2nd century AD

    and in a sense it hasnt, but it clearly has since its probly still stuck if nothing else, in medieval byzantium. the clothing and icons reflect its byzantine heritage and the church makes it its business to make sure that its priests know byzantine history.

    fast forward to oday you have a fairly hidebound church that luckily at least allows its priest to marry, but not if they want to reach the title of bishop.
    i remember a startling thing though once that at one local church , the priest refused to give communion to non GREEK orthodox matters not if your russian or ukranian, ONLY greeks, which is a problem if your a convert and dont LOOK greek. and apparently few of such people got turned away a point I a nd most around me felt was a definate nono.

    so id imagiine the JW arnt the only ones that 'exilepeople that are openly against them, the orthodox one just isnt as permanent or as official.

  10. #10

    Default

    Congratulations!!!

    I can only really echo what others have already said. Things really do get better after you've made the break, but it might take a bit. In my experience (I broke from the church when I was 22 after nearly committing suicide, so it was about as messy as it could be without my brains splattered on the wall of my parents' downstairs bathroom), there's a while where you might feel a bit... Lost, almost overwhelmed by the amazing realm of possibilities. Take things slow, and feel your way around post-religion for a bit. Explore and consider ideas and views that were previously discouraged or prohibited, and accept and discard as appropriate. You'll soon find your groove and find your way as your own person, not a JW with a name.

    Again, congrats! If you need a sympathetic ear as you find your way down this new path, please feel free to contact me.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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