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Thread: Coping With Mental Disorders

  1. #1

    Default Coping With Mental Disorders

    I have been having thoughts of suicide several times everyday ever since I was little I thought about it as early as 6 years old that I can remember. I did great in school up until I was in 2nd grade. I've gotten honor roll several times. I Grew up without a father. My mother was a good mother and worked long hours to support us. I always had a pretty good relationship her. I would just have these moments when I would just explode in anger and yell and often would hit myself. I never hit her. As I grew up, school got worse for me. I had thoughts come and leave and always lost concentration. I had a hard time reading because of this. I still do today and its not just reading either. Even while I had a conversation with someone and just lose the topic and have no idea what it was. I cant keep a job. i get frustrated at the lack of professionalism of coworkers and employers also those customers who act stupid or take the customer is always right slogan too far. (my phone only allows so much text per post).

    ---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:24 ----------

    Well a couple of days ago its gotten very bad with thoughts of suicide thinking of different ways to go. I had a knife to my wrist and I didnt in with it. Instead I decided to find some information on suicide because I would be hurting not just myself. I ended up finding mental disorders and seen that i had several symptoms of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I dont have the funds to seek help so I was wondering he anyone has any advice or references to get any kind of help without cost cause I foot have insurance or nothing.
    Last edited by Trevor; 10-Apr-2011 at 19:59. Reason: removing duplicate, auto-merged post.

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm glad you got through your most recent difficulty without doing any harm to yourself. What you really need is a professional, and we certainly can't help with that. A place to start perhaps is this link with suicide support groups. Perhaps there is one that will work for you. Please don't just let it slide, you can do something to let others help you.

  3. #3

    Default I Understand



    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    I have been having thoughts of suicide several times everyday ever since I was little I thought about it as early as 6 years old that I can remember. I did great in school up until I was in 2nd grade. I've gotten honor roll several times. I Grew up without a father. My mother was a good mother and worked long hours to support us. I always had a pretty good relationship her. I would just have these moments when I would just explode in anger and yell and often would hit myself. I never hit her. As I grew up, school got worse for me. I had thoughts come and leave and always lost concentration. I had a hard time reading because of this. I still do today and its not just reading either. Even while I had a conversation with someone and just lose the topic and have no idea what it was. I cant keep a job. i get frustrated at the lack of professionalism of coworkers and employers also those customers who act stupid or take the customer is always right slogan too far. (my phone only allows so much text per post).

    ---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:24 ----------

    Well a couple of days ago its gotten very bad with thoughts of suicide thinking of different ways to go. I had a knife to my wrist and I didnt in with it. Instead I decided to find some information on suicide because I would be hurting not just myself. I ended up finding mental disorders and seen that i had several symptoms of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I dont have the funds to seek help so I was wondering he anyone has any advice or references to get any kind of help without cost cause I foot have insurance or nothing.
    I completely understand.
    I struggled with severe depression for like 4 or 5 years. I couldn't concentrate in school and my grades slipped.
    I almost had to repeat 7th and 8th grades.
    I got on meds, that really helped. Wellbutrin, i think it was.
    Anyway, you have years left in your life that you could miss. How many good things might you never experience?
    Don't do it. Everyone has something to live for.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    I have been having thoughts of suicide several times everyday ever since I was little I thought about it as early as 6 years old that I can remember. I did great in school up until I was in 2nd grade. I've gotten honor roll several times. I Grew up without a father. My mother was a good mother and worked long hours to support us. I always had a pretty good relationship her. I would just have these moments when I would just explode in anger and yell and often would hit myself. I never hit her. As I grew up, school got worse for me. I had thoughts come and leave and always lost concentration. I had a hard time reading because of this. I still do today and its not just reading either. Even while I had a conversation with someone and just lose the topic and have no idea what it was. I cant keep a job. i get frustrated at the lack of professionalism of coworkers and employers also those customers who act stupid or take the customer is always right slogan too far. (my phone only allows so much text per post).

    ---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:24 ----------

    Well a couple of days ago its gotten very bad with thoughts of suicide thinking of different ways to go. I had a knife to my wrist and I didnt in with it. Instead I decided to find some information on suicide because I would be hurting not just myself. I ended up finding mental disorders and seen that i had several symptoms of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. I dont have the funds to seek help so I was wondering he anyone has any advice or references to get any kind of help without cost cause I foot have insurance or nothing.
    I understand how it is to deal with depression. I have had it for over 10 years, with the first 3-4 being of Major depression with constant thoughts of suicide >_>. I haven't really hit myself but when I was on all that medication a quack I saw about my depression gave me (I still hate that "doctor"), I did attempt to hurt myself three times in trying to commit suicide. Its a subject I hate bringing up and its hard for me to even talk about it here.

    But school did start to get worse, though it was never that great since I have a Autism Spectiurm Disorder (Aspergers, which I didn't know I did have until I was 19, so I always thought I was "different") so I was in LD classes my entire life which usually means you get heavily picked on (especially since people tend to associate those classes with "retards" even though its mainly for people who don't learn though the normal methods) and whatnot, and even in those classes I sometimes had issues learning the subjects. Though when I was on the medication that quack gave me during senior year, things got FAR worse since I literly couldn't get work done as I had all the side effects of the medication. Basicly I couldn't sleep (I was up 24-48 hours at a time), could barely eat at all (I lost 35 lbs in three weeks), I was red and shaky and just wanted to always lay down. At one point, I swear that medication was going to kill me. If it wasn't for one teacher willing to help by making me her teachers aid most of the day, I would of failed my senior year of high school and I wouldn't of graduated that year.

    Anyway, I hope you the best on all this and as you and me both know, its a difficult battle but I am sure you can overcome it. I would try to talk about it to friends and try to find a councilor too (a REAL one, not one that just feeds you medication) to help you when your not feeling down, as I find it helps quite abit to talk to someone. And when you have suicidal thoughts, don't act on them, its not worth it.

  5. #5

    Default

    Thanks for the support. I haven't seen any kinds of shrinks to get diagnosed or anything like that ever. Except the trips to the counselors at school. I have gotten expelled in middle school twice because i get written up for not paying attention quite a bit. they had a teacher that seemed like they just hated me. They always were the one who written me up for stupid little stuff. I didnt disrupt the class.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    Thanks for the support. I haven't seen any kinds of shrinks to get diagnosed or anything like that ever. Except the trips to the counselors at school. I have gotten expelled in middle school twice because i get written up for not paying attention quite a bit. they had a teacher that seemed like they just hated me. They always were the one who written me up for stupid little stuff. I didnt disrupt the class.
    Many of'tha things you mention -losing your temper, not able'ta remember conversations, not paying attention, lot'sa thoughts coming and leaving all'tha time, yet also having good grades early in school- sound a lot like ADHD, perhaps with something else like a learning disability thrown in. This is a short road to serious depression -the life threatening kind (please take it from me, a card carrying member of the ADHD/depression and other things no one talks'about club). You need a professional to make a diagnosis, because nothing is worse than not doing anything about it. Trust me.

  7. #7
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    I totally understand the feeling of having to fight the urge to self-harm. I haven't cut in about a year but that doesn't mean the urge is gone. It can be restrained, thanks to a lot if years of therapy.

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