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Thread: transition

  1. #1

    Default transition

    When I first discovered my desires for diapers, I labeled myself as a diaper lover. But after years of the constant binge/purge cycle, being ashamed and embarassed of who I was, and believing if I left it alone the desire would fade away. This inner struggle continued for a couple of years until I finally reached my milestone of being able to accept myself for who I am and not giving myself a label. Being proud of who I am and could finally except the me! The real me. I have been regressing slowly but surely to reach the balance of my adult life and the child at heart that helps me escape life's struggles. I think I am ready for a daddy figure to help me regress and take care of me. So my question to you guys/gals is how would someone go about finding a daddy figure, and what steps should I take.

  2. #2

    Default

    Well the only way I know is to just meet people online and take it from there, but be warned this is very dangerous! Other then that I don't know.

  3. #3

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    natattack

    I am by no means someone who wants to regress... I'm a happy adult and love my responsibilities and stuff ...
    I'm not implying anything's wrong with wanting to regress - but just want to make clear where my advice is coming from....
    Someone who's an AB/AC might be better at giving you the correct advice... but anyways.

    my general take on any kind of relationship - if you have goals for a long term relationship - is to find someone in your "normal" life... I mean online can be ok - but well... I suggest try to find someone (reality or online...) whom you are truly interested in as a person - and who is truly interested in you.
    You lifestyle choices, Fetishes, wishes to regress and all of that are supposedly just one aspect of your person - these things are not the only thing to you (at least I hope so).
    In that regards - try to let those "issues" out of the equation at first.
    Because in the end you and your partner should have a lot more in common than just the AC/AB & Daddy game ... otherwise it wont last very long or become pretty boring quickly.
    A partner should be someone whom you find interesting and someone you want to hang around with for a long time. I guess this is quite universal and doesn't matter if your Heterosexual, homosexual, bi-... or whatever else

    Build trust - and work from there.
    Most everyone has some kink, something "odd" or whatever and many never talk about it, let that part rot until it's turning to a sour time in the relationship with the excuse blamed on something else.

    Me and my Girl have gotten to know each other through a mutual friend and have been together for over 5 years... we are very happy and find each other still very much attractive and interesting.
    She has her kinks - some of which I find lovely, some for which I wouldn't care... and the same goes from her point of view with me.
    I told her about my diapers while back - but not the first day - and whilst she doesn't find them appealing to the point where she wants to indulge, she also doesn't really mind... some kinks we share - some we don't.
    Works lovely.
    But honestly, only because neither of us was looking in the first place to find someone matching a specific fantasy.

    Be open minded about this... good luck!

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree a lot with the post above (I've highlighted parts that are relevant to my argument in this response) except on the 'it's best to meet people IRL' thing. Possibly that's because I'm a TB/BF not a DL, but I find that having this little side of me is...well, it's more than a 'kink'! It does make me feel differently about things sometimes; it impacts my emotions more than a simple sexual turn-on would.

    If I meet someone IRL, there's no way I would expect them to understand my littleness. My DL-side, sure, because that's just something I like to do in the bedroom, but not this personality trait that makes me think/feel differently to most people. Sometimes I need to be allowed to be irrational and childish.

    I think that's another point; being a DL doesn't really require any intense participation from your partner, making it easier to accept. Either they just let you do your thing (wear a diaper) or they put one on for you. Having someone 'baby' you is an emotionally intense experience. If someone doesn't feel loving (maternally/paternally or even in an 'older sibling' way) towards your little side, it's going to feel wrong if your little is 'emotionally real' (a term I'm fond of).

    When you're an AB, you might want to be changed, fed, bathed and played with. All things you'd do with a child. A caretaker who doesn't fully understand these desires might struggle to treat you like you were genuinely a child (for however long your 'scene' lasts; obviously it would probably be unhealtjhy for them to do that constantly, but when I'm being little I know I like to feel like a real little one (because, at that moment, on the inside I am!) rather than a adult person indulging a kink).

    Finally, if you do find a 'Daddy' online, you know they're somewhat prepared to deal with an AB 'child'. That is, you know right off the bat that anyone who gets into a relationship with this person can expect (if they want it) those things that an AB would want when in littlespace. This is a clear advantage over IRL where you need to;

    a) find someone who's compatible with you;
    b) tell them about your littleside;
    c) get them to understand how emotionally important being little is for you;
    d) get them to WANT to baby and take care of you;

    compared to finding a Daddy 'online' where you need only find someone who's compatible, and possibly explain exactly what you feel you 'need' when being little and what it means to you. (Don't get me wrong though; finding a compatible person is also very difficult alone, but being a male seeking a male you'll probably have more luck than a male seeking a Mommy).

    So, what should you do to find someone appropriate? Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to 'put yourself out there', as cliche as it is. Tommygun said it very well:



    Quote Originally Posted by tommygun View Post
    I suggest try to find someone (reality or online...) whom you are truly interested in as a person - and who is truly interested in you.
    You lifestyle choices, Fetishes, wishes to regress and all of that are supposedly just one aspect of your person - these things are not the only thing to you (at least I hope so)...

    ...in the end you and your partner should have a lot more in common than just the AC/AB & Daddy game ... otherwise it wont last very long or become pretty boring quickly....

    ...A partner should be someone whom you find interesting and someone you want to hang around with for a long time. I guess this is quite universal and doesn't matter if your Heterosexual, homosexual, bi-... or whatever else

    ...But honestly, only because neither of us was looking in the first place to find someone matching a specific fantasy...
    That is; don't go looking for 'just' a Daddy. In fact, I'd say don't even actively LOOK for a Daddy at all. If you make a dating profile, let it be known you're interested in having one, but I'd reccomend against messaging potential Daddies hoping to strike up a connection based on that fact alone.

    No, my advice to you is to simply be active in AB/DL social circles. Make (tasteful!) profiles on diaper websites; post in forums (like this one!); talk in chats; go to ABDL/littles munches. In short, approach it as if you're trying to make friends, because really, a good partner should also be a friend. Don't even bother targeting a specific gender; if your female friend knows a good Daddy (and she knows you're looking for a Daddy), there's more of a chance of the two of you (you and the Daddy) becoming friends, because you have a connection through her. How many people IRL meet 'through friends'?

    When people start talking to you, they'll either click, or they won't. When/if they do, they'll get to know you. They'll learn these things about you; that you're looking for a Daddy, what you want in a Daddy, how he'd fit in your life...and they'll also learn about your personality, your hobbies, the things that make you YOU. And from there comes friendship, and from there (if you're lucky!) grows romance.

    I'm speaking from experience here; I have 1 EXTREMELY close friend I met through ADISC, another who is just as close but also fills a caretaker role for me (and I for him), and I also met my partner here. I've no doubt I wouldn't have been able to grow as close to them if I had met them IRL. My relationships are not based on diapers, they're based on mutual interests (diapers happen to be one) and complementing personalities, but I've found it easier to find people who fit me well online.

    (p.s; there's a chance you want a non-romantic Daddy; that's cool too, most of what I've said still applies)

  5. #5

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    wow, thank you guys so much! That is such wonderful advice. I am pretty sure every single question that was rambling around in my brain was answered and with such insight as well! I really appreciate that! and i do want to find somebody who is compatible with me, not just for my ab/dl side but my other interests too! i have so many interests this just happens to be one of them. It definitely won't make or break a deal for me! But i am really hoping when i do find that someone they can find compassion when i want to show my "little" side.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbtim59 View Post
    Well the only way I know is to just meet people online and take it from there, but be warned this is very dangerous! Other then that I don't know.
    It's not nearly as dangerous as you make it sound. Obviously when meeting anyone new, one will need to take certain precautions, like chatting with them for awhile and making sure to meet in a public place. That said, a lot of people meet a lot of other people from the Internet and it goes fine (in terms of safety) the overwhelmingly vast majority of the time. Heck, I've met a number of people first online, many of whom are brilliant ABDL friends now.

    Some good ideas were given above. In my case, I had a few relationships that seemed to have some promise suddenly go sour when the diapers were revealed, so I ultimately decided that I either had to find an ABDL mate, or I was going to remain single. That's not an easy decision to make, but for me, I knew there was no way I was ever going to be able to give up diapers or stop being an ABDL, and I realized I didn't want to.

    Happily for me, I had already made a lot of ABDL friends, and I wound up meeting my bubby at an ABDL Halloween party.

    My advice-first; you need to well and truly know what you want. If you want a mate that you can share ABDL adventures with, you need to know that going into it, and you need to prepare for the possibility that it will be a long search. If you meet a non-ABDL, make certain that you give full disclosure regarding your diapered interests very early on. There's no sense in spending a long time falling for someone only to have it come apart on you, and honestly, it's not fair to the other person if they're dating someone and then a year or however long later you reveal you've been hiding something important to both you and the relationship.

    That said, I seriously advocate finding an ABDL mate. When looking for a mate that's into any particular thing, you have to go where they are. A gamer isn't going to find the mate of his dreams in a club, but he will find one in a gaming group. For an ABDL mate, you need to meet ABDLs. Go to munches or whatever other local gatherings there are (which are usually pretty low key affairs held in public that are just people that happen to like diapers getting together for a chat and a dinner or something). Be active and don't be scared or ashamed of your diapers. Embrace them, and give a vehement "fuck you!" to anyone who gives you grief over them. They aren't worth your time if they can't embrace the entirety of who you are.

    Best of luck and I hope you find the mate of your dreams!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7

    Default

    I too am a diaper lover and enjoy wearing them, I would like to find a person that would help me regress back to when I was a baby and enjoying being spoon-fed, bottle fed, bathed and placed in a crib to sleep and take naps. I really miss that side of me and would love to find someone to help me in the process.

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