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Thread: Adisc.... I need advice for my future, marrige,job. and everything else....

  1. #1

    Default Adisc.... I need advice for my future, marrige,job. and everything else....

    I'll keep this short. Currently Engaged, was planning to get married Summer 2012. Told parents they don't think I should (mother was more accepting) father was kind of like you're not ready yatta yatta ya. Point being it doesn't matter anymore since I'm not getting some financial aid (leftover money from some scholarships I was getting) I was gonna save up for the wedding and I'm essentially screwed over So now money is tighter then ever and I can barely pay for college.... great right? Well now we have to postpone wedding plans and well many many problems.

    Such as My fiancee going to graduate school and me not knowing where I"m going to get a job. I can't get an internship so I have no experience. I'm worried about not being able to get a job, I feel horrible about everything. I'm worried as shit, I know that I'm marrying her but I know nothign else. I'm scared shitless, have no idea what I'm gonna do job wise, or future wise. everythign is uncertain and I need some advice. I have no work experience and overall it seems like my degree in CS will be completly useless when I graduate...

  2. #2

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    Hey dragsick, it's me again. Interestingly, I was listening to A Prairie Home Companion today on NPR and they had Brad Paisley singing. I'm not a big country and western fan, but he sang a song called, A Letter To Myself. The song talked about if he could send a letter to himself when he was 17, he would have told himself to not worry about all the things that a 17 year old worries about. Even though you are 20, it all applies.

    When I wanted to marry my wife, I couldn't afford it. I was only making 6,000 a year, but I married her anyway. We rented the upstairs of a house. We couldn't afford to have children, but our older friends (youth counselors from the church where I was the organist) said we would never be able to afford children, so have them anyway. My wife was diabetic and told she shouldn't have children. We did anyway and they have been the biggest blessings in our lives.

    Eventually I moved to where I live now, got a better job and my wife got her first teaching job. We eventually made it. It took time, patience and faith. Most people who get that first job, get it because it's available, not because it was addressed by their major in college, or something they wanted to do. Often they don't stay in that job. They put their resume out there while they are still employed and wait for other opportunities.

    My daughter pursued her doctorate while she was engaged. She taught several English classes while she worked on her doctorate. The classes paid for her education. She still dated her fiance and eventually married him before she was finished with her doctorate. She finished her degree and then he got his Masters in Business from MIT. Do you see my point? You can juggle all of the balls and have a life with the one you love. Have some faith because things come along.

    A good friend of mine was laid off from her $100,000 plus job, right after they bought an expensive house. She was a pharmaceutical rep for Novartus. A month later, another medical supply company came to her and hired her, because she had built a positive work reputation as a rep for Novartus.

    I know this is a scary time for you. The secret is to take it one day at a time and keep your options open. You may find work in a completely different field. That happens to almost everyone. Life is not perfect, and sometimes it is down right cruel. Presently I am working two low paying jobs to get buy, but I know it won't last forever. In addition to the jobs, I'm writing with the hope of publishing my novel. Always have the dream, but work to pay the bills at the same time. I wish you the best my friend, and remember, I'm always here for you.

  3. #3
    Dwhite

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I know this is a scary time for you. The secret is to take it one day at a time and keep your options open. You may find work in a completely different field. That happens to almost everyone. Life is not perfect, and sometimes it is down right cruel. Presently I am working two low paying jobs to get buy, but I know it won't last forever. In addition to the jobs, I'm writing with the hope of publishing my novel. Always have the dream, but work to pay the bills at the same time. I wish you the best my friend, and remember, I'm always here for you.
    Its funny. I was at a banquet for my swim team recently and one of the seniors said that our diving coach has a solution and a story for every problem. You sound like that person for adisc.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwhite View Post
    Its funny. I was at a banquet for my swim team recently and one of the seniors said that our diving coach has a solution and a story for every problem. You sound like that person for adisc.
    Thanks. Helping others on this site actually gives something back to me. I think it's the connection of being human and having this "thing" in common. It bonds us, and that makes me feel good.

  5. #5

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    Hey dragsnick,

    I appreciate that these are real issues for you (and for your family and fiancee as well). Life deals some people a hard hand. But if you and your fiancee are sure that it's right to go ahead and marry, do so. You may need to forgo the frills, but it is possible to do something beautiful and memorable on a shoestring (trust me: my wife and I spent a twentieth of what most people in the UK spend on marriages. and it was great). Set your priorities; stick with them - and you may find that your life is far more beautiful than you ever imagined.

    So, learn to laugh at your problems:

    Avenue Q - It Sucks to be Me

    Hugs,

    Artie

  6. #6

    Default

    Don't worry too much. You might have the impression that you know nothing well enough to be hired, but the fact is that there are lots of people who kinda fell into IT somehow, learning some of the necessary skills only over time. Having a general understanding of where you stand with your knowledge is something most of those older people lack in my opinion, and it prevents them from becoming good/better at their jobs. (There are some exceptionally good people in that group of older self-learned IT-skills guys, of course). On your side, though, knowing what you don't know (and subsequently knowning what there is to know) gives you everything you need to become good at something specific in your general area of expertise, so just try to find something to start your career with.

    I'm not too sure about general unemployment in your area, but there's a realistic chance of finding somebody who needs a 'computer guy' anywhere if you sell yourself right, and after 1 or 2 years you have some work experience which automatically means higher pay or a good chance to be hired by a big company that wants to extend their IT department right now and can't find many fitting people. Oh, and even if there were a big number of unemployed computer geeks with 10+ years experience in your area, there are some companies they just don't (want to) get into, too.

    Anyway, that's how it worked out for all the people from my job-learning years I heard of recently, and most of them didn't really strike me as fit for a job in IT when I first met them (well, or after graduating for that matter ;-) ). Just get your foot in somewhere like everybody does, and it will probably work out fine.

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