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Thread: Consensual slavery?

  1. #1

    Default Consensual slavery?

    I know the topic can be a tad sensitive, but I'll learn that the ADISC community is pretty open minded. So... here it is:

    What is your view on consensual slavery or Master/Slave relationships?

    I ask this cause its always on my mind, and its something I feel comfortable with. Every submissive fiber in my body just tingles at the idea, and its just seems to fit me. However, I know friends would call me crazy to think of commiting to such a "relationship". The fact that I would be treated as an object, willingly, it could be called "ownership".

    But a rational part understands my desire, but still believes it to be on the crazy side. I wouldn't know how to discuss it with friends, let alone explain why I can't do things that would interrupt a superior's orders. It would be complicated for me, but I would still desire it. So... am I a tad crazy or just a bit of a hopeless case.

    ------

    Slim commented, and to be clearer to anyone else, I'm referring to a BDSM term for consensual slavery.
    Master/slave (BDSM) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia <--- for a bit more clarification
    Last edited by KittyHeart; 14-Mar-2011 at 21:50. Reason: Clarifacation of 'consensual slavery'

  2. #2

    Default

    You're a *B/DL. In essence, some believe that we're an offshoot of BDSM. The whole Daddy/baby or Mommy/baby or (Insert roll here)/baby idea is heavily related to it. Even if you're just a DL, the whole 'diaper slave' idea is bound to come up eventually.

    My personal opinion? So long as it doesn't hurt anyone, do it. There can't be anything wrong with it.

  3. #3

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    Are you talking about slavery in a BDSM setting or in general? In a BDSM setting is one thing, and I don't think anyone here would be much opposed that. But in general, consensual slavery could include a number of things, from indentured service to debt slavery, that are indeed controversial. That, however, is a completely different issue.

    BDSM slavery is cool, and as long as you're careful to work out the terms of the slavery well, presents no tremendous danger. What gets dangerous is when you give someone you don't know or trust very well complete control over you, or when you aren't careful to specify things like duration or what you will and won't do. But that's why having a safety word is always advisable, and why working with someone you trust is an absolute must.

  4. #4

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    I'm speaking of a BDSM slavery... where one is a Master/Mistress and the sub (preferable me) is a slave. I perfectly understand that I enjoy to keep myself safe. My safety is always predominant, but I always wonder how much I could be dealt (but that's the masochist in me speaking). And trust is another important aspect of it.

    @Mikeru: Having a Nanny(be male or female)/Baby relationship would be interesting, I won't deny that. But my AB/BF-self isn't very sexual, so I'm speaking of a more BDSM in general sense though.

  5. #5
    Alecs

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    I find this to be an acceptable lifestyle choice, granted both parties do consent. Personally I could see myself living a life as such where I was the dominate role. Nothing is wrong with it, it's just another way to live. The subordinate would do as directed, and the dominator would give direction.

    There's actually a lot of trust in a relationship like this, as many are. And the trust goes both ways. You have to trust the Master to not actually put you in harms way, while you must trust the slave to always do as you say, even if you won't be able to verify.

    Hope I didn't go off topic, just my two cents.

  6. #6
    Peachy

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    Slave relationships are a mixture of a few things:
    For once, it's the typical M/s power exchange. It happens in most relationships, either explicitly or implicitly. You can't have a relationship without someone being the dominant part at least in some aspects. Decisions have to be made. Heck, you can't even have sex without someone taking charge. "Honey, I'm sick of doggy style. Let's try cowgirl? You up for it. [10 mins of discussing pros and cons]...Great, now I'm not in the mood any more". Someone has to take charge and flip the other around.

    What you're (hopefully) not looking for is what most people would think of when they hear slavery: Making someone work for you (out on the fields, traditionally) while you're sitting in the sun sipping sweet iced tea.
    I think your type of slavery includes what most people would consider, strictly-speaking, "abuse". I.e. being made to do stuff most people wouldn't want to do voluntarily, like being tied up and left in a corner, having to wear chastity devices/butt plugs, forced (nude) modeling, being used for the Master's sexual pleasure, or in more extreme cases: Being used as a urinal or "rented" out to other people for their sexual pleasure. I can't imagine most people would enjoy that.
    In the light of that argument, it's a bit unusual, but not unheard of. Everyone likes giving up a bit of control every now and again. It's an integral part of ABs, as the AB gives up control over many things to return to the infantile state where they're pretty worry free and has everything being taken care of by their 'parent(s)'. The 'parent' will have a lot of work taking care of the AB and will mostly enjoy the fact that the AB is having a good time. With BDSM-type slavery, it's the other way around: The slave's primary purpose is to make their master happy and make them enjoy themselves. Doesn't mean the slave can't enjoy the tasks, but the primary focus remains the master, while in AB play, the primary focus is the baby.

    As for the safety aspect. It's a delicate balance between a Master getting the maximum pleasure out of their slave and the slave being safe. You really need to trust the person you submit yourself to to not put you at risk. Trust has to be established on both sides..the slave has to trust the Master not to receive and dangerous tasks, and the Master has to understand the slave's living conditions and limits. As with any good relationship, that takes time, so any Master/slave relationship is more than just a one-night stand of sorts.

    Peachy

  7. #7

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    Thanks, Peachy. You always have a 'fruitful' opinion. (Excuse the pun. X3 )

    An yes, I don't look for a person who would use and abuse me... that would be crazy. But there is an interesting focus between AB and M/S. AB is more focus on the sub, while the M/S is more dom focus. I believe that the relationship is a more 1:1 ratio. The more the dom puts in, the more the sub returns, be it chores or sexual acts. He/her has to focus on the sub for quite a time, and that often satisfies the sub in such a relationship. Trust always comes into play with that form of relationship, and limits are often spoken at the start on such. And the majority of what you reference (the 'urinal' and 'renting-out', I'm touchy with but unsure about. Everyone has their own preferences, and I'm generally open, but safety is still paramount. That's where trust comes back in. However, I have nothing against chastity devices, and it actual appeals to me. :3

    But remind you that such relationship can always end. The sub can always say when something is too much, and the same for the dom. The ideal behind a relationship (or any to be exact) is the satisfy each others wants and desires.

    And all relationship has a dom/sub aspect involuntarily... even with friendships. I don't know how many times I get frustrated when I ask a friend to pick a movie, and they reply, "What do you want to watch?" It sorta defeats the purpose... but I guess that's just me being submissive in most aspects of my life.

    @Alecs: Nah, you didn't get off topic. Always good to hear the opinion of the opposite. ^_^

  8. #8
    Peachy

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    Quote Originally Posted by KittyHeart View Post
    And the majority of what you reference (the 'urinal' and 'renting-out', I'm touchy with but unsure about.
    That's the ever-famous "limits"-discussion before striking up any D/s relationship. There's worse stuff Doms can do to a sub, but I didn't want to wear this forum's patience thin or make myself disgusted (while sitting on my train to work, no less) by thinking about such extremes as blood play. Some subs want the pain, others the humiliation, yet others physical action (sex) and yet other fetish action.



    Quote Originally Posted by KittyHeart View Post
    I believe that the relationship is a more 1:1 ratio. The more the dom puts in, the more the sub returns, be it chores or sexual acts. He/her has to focus on the sub for quite a time, and that often satisfies the sub in such a relationship.
    It's work either way. For ABs/parents, it's constant work, although both parties know what they have to do from experience/observation. For M/s, it's a lot of one-time work (training) until trust and routines have been established.



    Quote Originally Posted by KittyHeart View Post
    But remind you that such relationship can always end. The sub can always say when something is too much, and the same for the dom. The ideal behind a relationship (or any to be exact) is the satisfy each others wants and desires.
    Ironic, isn't it? The Dom controls the details, yet the sub controls the bigger picture, the "deal or no deal"-aspect. Makes you wonder who's really in control



    Quote Originally Posted by KittyHeart View Post
    I don't know how many times I get frustrated when I ask a friend to pick a movie, and they reply, "What do you want to watch?" It sorta defeats the purpose... but I guess that's just me being submissive in most aspects of my life.
    Other people may not see that as a part of M/s play or are just too respectful of your person to dictate what to watch. Most people expect you to seek a compromise rather than a final decision on what to watch.

    Peach

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peachy View Post
    That's the ever-famous "limits"-discussion before striking up any D/s relationship. There's worse stuff Doms can do to a sub, but I didn't want to wear this forum's patience thin or make myself disgusted (while sitting on my train to work, no less) by thinking about such extremes as blood play. Some subs want the pain, others the humiliation, yet others physical action (sex) and yet other fetish action.
    Yeah... there is a list of things I won't touch either, but to each there own on that. I'll agree that such things are intolerable to me. You mentioning 'blood' just gets me disgusted. >.<




    Quote Originally Posted by Peachy View Post
    Ironic, isn't it? The Dom controls the details, yet the sub controls the bigger picture, the "deal or no deal"-aspect. Makes you wonder who's really in control
    And it does, and that's a good thing about it.




    Quote Originally Posted by Peachy View Post
    Other people may not see that as a part of M/s play or are just too respectful of your person to dictate what to watch. Most people expect you to seek a compromise rather than a final decision on what to watch.
    Well... I can see the respectful and compromise to things, and by no means I'm referring to a M/S behavior with that example. But a few nights ago, both my roommates (whom are married) got into a spat about picking movies. It would've been avoided if see picked a movie she wanted to watch and not try to compromise to something she didn't want to watch. Like you mentioned earlier, sometimes, a person needs to take charge, even if that right is given to them.

  10. #10

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    As long as you're not hurting anyone (unless they want to be), what's the harm of engaging in a relationship like this? I don't think you should ever give full control over to someone you've just met. But, I believe that a long-lasting master/slave relationship like this shows more trust than a standard relationship many times. It takes trust to inflict pain on or receive pain from your partner. You should however always have a stop point or safety word to stop if things are getting uncomfortable.

    The concept of a relationship like this is something I'd be willing to try sometime in the future. But first, I have to get my act together by finishing college or going to another school, get a job, and get some money in my pocket.

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