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Thread: Help regarding religion.

  1. #1
    BernardFx

    Unhappy Help regarding religion.

    Hmmm, typing this after a meeting.

    Ok, to start, I'm not flaming or criticizing any religion, or lack of.

    So, I have been a Jehova's Witness since birth, and have never stopped attending regularly to the meetings, assemblies, preaching, etc.

    The story is, I was born into it, and my dad, mom, and sister were very into it. Well, my dad stopped being one after an incident (which I wont get into), and my mom got very depressed.

    Now, I want out. But it's not that easy. There are plenty of reasons I should, but there are also a lot that make me not do it. Some are: I don't want my mom to get very depressed, I don't want my grandma to have a heart attack (sincerely, that's what I think will happen), and don't want to ruin my mothers and sisters reputation on the congregation.

    But, I really want to get out, because I want to be my own person. Both my sister and dad know this, but don't really care. They're keeping their mouths shut. Some reasons I want to get out are: I think that what they teach isn't what I really believe, I feel I'm doing labor for free, it's very time consuming, and it restricts me from doing soooo much stuff. Also, the teens in my congregation are such hypocrites, they do a lot of stuff behind their parents backs.

    Do I have to tell my mother? Does it have to be tactful, or tell her after a fight? What if she doesn't accept how I think, and sends me to the elders to get "fixed"? What about my grandmas health?

    Any suggestions, please. I'm standing at the crossroad...

    p.s. My dad is in Panama right now for 2 weeks...
    Last edited by BernardFx; 14-Mar-2011 at 00:47.

  2. #2

    Default

    While perhaps not the best idea, you could wait until you head off to college. If you're 16 and still in HS and living with your family, creating this kind of tension may not be the best idea, as you have stated. However, holding this off until you're in college, you'll have plenty of opportunities to make new, like-minded friends and you can be yourself without your mother and grandma knowing the specifics of what you're up to.

  3. #3
    BernardFx

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Goose View Post
    While perhaps not the best idea, you could wait until you head off to college. If you're 16 and still in HS and living with your family, creating this kind of tension may not be the best idea, as you have stated. However, holding this off until you're in college, you'll have plenty of opportunities to make new, like-minded friends and you can be yourself without your mother and grandma knowing the specifics of what you're up to.
    Yes, I'm thinking about that, although, maybe in July I'll go to a new high school as an exchange student. The problem is, she still doesn't know... >.< But thanks for the help

  4. #4
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    I didn't give Christianity the heave-ho until after college. Religion is an incredibly personal thing and you can't let others decide fir you which spiritual path (if any) you will follow.

    If it's not too direct a question, what religion are you considering?

    ---------- Post added at 23:36 ---------- Previous post was at 23:36 ----------

    I didn't give Christianity the heave-ho until after college. Religion is an incredibly personal thing and you can't let others decide for you which spiritual path (if any) you will follow.

    If it's not too direct a question, what religion are you considering?

  5. #5
    BernardFx

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    I didn't give Christianity the heave-ho until after college. Religion is an incredibly personal thing and you can't let others decide fir you which spiritual path (if any) you will follow.

    If it's not too direct a question, what religion are you considering?
    Right now, I'm not sure. Probably I'll be an atheist until I find what best suits me.

  6. #6

    Default

    Depends on what you want to do. You could tell her right now. Depending on how she felt about it, you would either get "fixed", she'd be disappointed in you, or there'd be a huge fight. Probably the last two. I doubt that you'd get sent to get fixed, because you have your father's approval (tacit though it may be_, and he would likely step in to protect you from that (though I could be severely mistaken). If you can get out of going without telling her, then do. But only if you think that it won't start a fight. That's not something you want. That said, you should also not use this as cannon fodder following a fight, as she'd not likely take it seriously, or it would escalate things further. Probably both. If you are going to tell her, it'd best be over dinner. It's better that something like this be used to start a fight (if it's going to), then to end one.

  7. #7

    Default

    You can't keep pretending to be a follower forever. It sounds like your father and sister will support your decision to leave the church when you finally make it. When you finally do, your mother and grandmother will likely be saddened by it, but with time they will learn to deal with it. What you need to decide is whether to leave the church now or wait until you move out of your parents house. Doing it now may make things more tense around the house. However it will also make it harder for your mother to avoid you. If you wait it means having to deal with all the problems of the church for a few more years. Ultimately it's up to you whether to wait or not. Just use some tact when you finally do tell your mother.

  8. #8

    Default

    You wouldn't likely be an atheist. That means you completely disbelieve everything about a possible god. (Agnostic is similar, but instead of saying that they disbelieve, they say there isn't enough proof to decide either way.)

    If you're keeping your faith, but not the particular religion, a better term would be 'non-denominational'. Meaning that you don't ascribe to any particular 'flavor' of religion at the moment.

    As for telling your mother and grandmother...that's a tough one. Definitely don't do it after a fight. If you can hold out until college, then that might work best. If you can't I'd say do a lot of self-reflection and try to dig up the reason that you aren't happy with being a Jehovah's Witness. It would probably go easier if/when you tell your mother if you had 'reasons' rather than just a vague 'I don't want to do this anymore'.

    I'm a complete atheist, which often leads to crazy issues between myself and my father. He's not all that religious, but he gets going about things and I get going back. Like the prayer at council meetings...they're being paid to do a job with taxpayers money. My thought is that if they wish to pray, they can do so on their own time and dime. It's a purely 'separation of church and state' thing. (For the record, they need to take "In God We Trust" back off of the money. It got added during the 'red scare' in 1956 and now everyone acts like it was always there. :P I much prefer the 'real' national motto..."E pluribus unum." Out of many, one. It just fits so much better IMVHO.)

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    The Pledge of Allegiance didn't used to feature "One nation under God" either. As a Wiccan, I refuse to say the last line, since I don't actually believe Deity gives a damn about national borders.

  10. #10

    Default

    I refuse to say any of the Pledge at my school where I'm a staff member. My allegiance actually is to God, not country. That said, I have been disappointed and let down by various churches so many times I can't begin to count them. I believe in God. I don't believe in churches. If you want to find the greatest number of collected hypocrites, go to church. The second largest collection is congress. Just remember, wherever two or more people are gathered in My name, they'll form a committee or subcommittee and idiocy will reign supreme.

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