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Thread: Friends that don't seem like friends anymore (would love some advice)

  1. #1

    Default Friends that don't seem like friends anymore (would love some advice)

    My friends don't seem like friends anymore...

    (Yes I am aware that I have just basically typed the same thing twice. I just didn't know another way to start off this topic)

    So let me let you in on a little background information before I continue.

    Well sometimes I find myself extremely depressed. To the point that I would just lye in bed all day. And when I say all day, I mean all day. I would only get up to go to the bathroom.

    But no matter how depressed I get I usually manage to put a smile on my face and try to convince the world I'm happy and alright. I must be doing a good job because no one really suspects a thing. I have my good days, and I have my bad. But wether good or bad day I would always put a smile on my face.

    But lately I've been having a lot of bad days. Like 75% of this Year have been bad days. And this past week it's gotten to the point where I can't put a smile on my face anymore.

    I cant find myself to act happy when I know I am miserable. So wherever I am somewhere I will just keep my head down, and wherever includes at school. And being at school means being with friends.

    So my friends can tell that I'm acting differently. But they are being dicks and saying that I'm on my period and that it's "my time of the month". Usually I can take a fucking joke but on friday my "friend" Tim, brought a tampon to school. Then handed it to me and said "Here, now you don't have to risk ruining your panties"
    (I'm a male)

    Can't he tell I just want to die?

    And it turns out everyone of my friends were in on it... So I don't know what to do...

    Well that's it I guess..
    Oh and I apologize in future reference if this kind of stuff isn't posted on these forums. Its just, I don't know what to do... And please don't ask me why I'm depressed. It's personal. Plus, I'm not the kind of guy who really talks about his problems.

    (But wait doesn't this really count as talking about them? lol i guess I'm a hypocrite :P)

    So yea... Someone please give me advice...
    If no one can, I understand.

  2. #2

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    Well you said you are depressed, maybe it's actully you who's changed and not your friends and your friends are joking as they normally would. For instance if you and someone else in your group changed mood's would your other friends still make jokes about him being on his period, and hand him a tampon. Depression can affects how you view everything and I mean absolutely everything.

    As for advice I suggest telling your friends to stop joking about it if it's truly getting to you. Secondly I suggest telling someone about being depressed preferably someone you trust. I'm not sure if you would be able to but seeing a therapist can help in a lot of cases, having someone to talk to regularly that you don't personally know about all that crap that goes down in your life is really nice to have.

    Also your perfectly fine posting this sort of thing here. Only rules really are no pictures of your self if your under 16 and don't give anything anyway publicly that gives away your actual location or identity, everything else including life in general or any problems are open for discussion. Plus some of us like talking about other things then just the AB/DL/TB/IC stuff.

  3. #3

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    i know this is going to sound really cheesy but when i was growing up in foster care from age 6 to 17 each day was difficult and due to other problems in my life like disabilities and realizing i was different in other ways there were many days where many days where i wondered if i could hang on....there were also several suicide attempts which in hindsight where more just cry for help but i was dying in side.....looking back i think the only thing that helped me get through it was my faith in god. realizing that you may not be a christian i make a generic paraphrase: i did my best to visualize things i was thankful for....no matter how bleak life gets there are always people worse off and always things you can be thankful for....you have to find reasons to hold on and keep fighting.......

  4. #4

    Default

    Sorry you're feeling this way and that you're not getting something positive back from your friends. A couple quick observations for you, and I wouldn't really classify them as advice because I'm not telling you to do something, just commenting on what I see. You describe yourself as someone who puts on a smile and tries to get along regardless of your feelings and also you tell us that you're not really one to talk about your problems. Objectively, do these sound like traits of someone whose friends would be worried for him? Your facade must cracking a bit or Tim wouldn't have given you the tampon. They probably don't expect that you would be deeply troubled and they might not be the right people to talk with even if they did suspect.

    I know it's not as good as having someone to talk to in the real world, but you might find this is a good place to get some compassionate and thoughtful feedback on what's troubling you. At the very least, we already know that you're really bothered, which is more than you've told your friends. A lot of people here have been through some pretty dark stuff and can help if you let them. Whatever you decide, I hope things pick up for you.

  5. #5
    AndrewThatsMyName

    Default

    If I knew you in real life, I would be your friend, and hang out with you all the time.
    Depression hurts, and your friends are jerks.

    I wrote a poem.
    "Wouldn't it be a waste, if all my life were erased?
    Now I'm thinking this is not the way, Now, I wonder, maybe I should stay".

    How about you shun them, find new friends. Are you in high school, and if so, what grade?
    Your "friends" sound like idiots to me.
    I spend most of time on this website, and make friends here, so in reality, we are your friends.
    Change something in your life that would be drastic, Walk home, jump fences, bring something into your life that would alter it a great deal.
    I'm not great w/ advice, but maybe this will help?

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by AndrewThatsMyName View Post
    If I knew you in real life, I would be your friend, and hang out with you all the time.
    Depression hurts, and your friends are jerks.

    I wrote a poem.
    "Wouldn't it be a waste, if all my life were erased?
    Now I'm thinking this is not the way, Now, I wonder, maybe I should stay".

    How about you shun them, find new friends. Are you in high school, and if so, what grade?
    Your "friends" sound like idiots to me.
    I spend most of time on this website, and make friends here, so in reality, we are your friends.
    Change something in your life that would be drastic, Walk home, jump fences, bring something into your life that would alter it a great deal.
    I'm not great w/ advice, but maybe this will help?
    Oh trust me, it did.
    Thank you.

    But I'm kind of socially awkward when it comes to being class with people I don't know.
    :/

    And being a freshman, I'm not that popular.. Oh well. Who needs popularity when you got things like Xbox live! :P

  7. #7
    AndrewThatsMyName

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by DictatorBanana View Post
    Oh trust me, it did.
    Thank you.

    But I'm kind of socially awkward when it comes to being class with people I don't know.
    :/

    And being a freshman, I'm not that popular.. Oh well. Who needs popularity when you got things like Xbox live! :P
    I am a senior in High school, and I started out being a nerd, then a weird person, then a popular person, then the most awkward person in the world.
    Things will get better, trust me
    I've been there, done that.
    Hope my post helped

  8. #8
    BuffaloWilly

    Default

    Heres an idea. [removed]
    Last edited by Trevor; 12-Mar-2011 at 07:40. Reason: please review the site rules.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BuffaloWilly View Post
    Heres an idea. [removed]
    Basically what you just advised, was to commit assault and battery. Those are crimes punishable by Federal and State Law. HOWEVER, I see that you are 14 years old. Fighting in school will probably get you suspended or sent to Juvenile Hall at worst [unless you murder someone]. You might be able to get away with fighting people now in school, but just you wait until after your 18th birthday....

    Violence after your 18th birthday will at least get you a ticket straight to jail when you get arrested.

    "That's ok. My friends will bail me out of jail."

    Do you know how expensive bail can be? Depending on the charge, thousands to ten thousands of dollars. If your charge(s) is a felony, your life just got really hard.

    "I'm not guilty. The other guy started it. I'm pleading not guilty."

    Can you afford an attorney? Even if you can't, the state can provide you with a public defender if you accept that option. But the public defender is no Johnny Cochran. In fact, he has an enormous case load and he might even look like your kid brother. And trust me, you don't want to choose to represent yourself in court. VERY few people know anything about the legal system of the United States except for the people who have studied law for many years.

    If you're convicted, congratulations you now have a criminal record and have to go back to jail/prison. Once you get out, you have to do whatever the judge told you to do. Pay court costs, see a parole officer, see a probation officer, pay for probation, do community service. If you miss any payments, fail to show up in court, violate probation, don't do what you're supposed to do...Guess where you're going back to? JAIL IT IS!

    It is so easy to go to jail; but it can be so hard getting out.

    If you prove you're innocent? That probably won't happen. Most people plead guilty in exchange for lesser sentences or plea bargain. Even if you somehow managed to prove your innocence, you still have legal costs and fees that total in a large amount of money that you probably cannot afford. You've been "taken to the cleaners" by this whole arduous process in exchange for your innocence.

    So all in all my advice to you, BuffaloWilly, is to at least re-evaluate how you approach and solve problems with people you don't get along with. Everyone has to deal with people they don't get along with throughout his/her life. But if your first choice in dealing with people who you don't like is violence...then be prepared for an enormous wake-up call once you reach the magic number of 1 8 .
    Last edited by Trevor; 12-Mar-2011 at 07:42. Reason: editing quote to match edited source.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by BuffaloWilly View Post
    Heres an idea. [removed]
    People really need to be a little more cautious about their advice. I only left this post in at all because bomb851's response to you was thoughtful and worthwhile but I don't want to see this thread become a place for an argument about the positives and negatives of violent responses. If there's anything more to be said on this thread, please put it back on the topic.

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