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Thread: What would/did it take to accept yourself?

  1. #1

    Default What would/did it take to accept yourself?

    Some of the people who come on to this site are trying to accept themselves, myself included. The thing is when I thought about it I knew exactly what it was I needed to do, to accept myself. In my circumstances I had to understand where fetishes actually come from, how they form and maybe even why we have them. I basically had to find a way to rationalise what in my opinion was irrational behaviour. Throughout the months I have spent researching, reading books and journal articles I have slowly come to see that what on the surface is seemingly irrational can be rationalised. In reading about researchers who are able to create fetishes in other animals and researchers who have surveyed and performed in depth investigation into those who have fetishes has provided an in-depth insight into this behaviour. The models they have presented have given a scientific explanation as to why I act the way I do. It is from this that no longer do I feel like the lone person in the universe. In fact now I feel strangely comforted by the fact that a lot of what is regarded as a 'normal' thing to find a turn on in society derives from the same basis as the fetish. Having the information at my disposal has given me the reassurance I need. It has given me the confidence in myself, not to shout it out on top of the roof tops, but to be able to share it with a partner and not feel ashamed of who I am.

    I wonder what it is we all need to finally accept ourselves, for me - information, but what is/was it for you?

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by dungarees View Post
    In my circumstances I had to understand where fetishes actually come from, how they form and maybe even why we have them. I basically had to find a way to rationalise what in my opinion was irrational behaviour.
    I'm also really interested in figuring out exactly what causes my fetishes and urges, but that wasn't wad let to my acceptance of myself.

    I got to thinking: hypothetically, let's say I completely forced myself to stop wearing maxi-pads, diapers, the occasional skirt in my house for fun. Well, where do I draw the line? I have other things I am interested in...does this mean I need to quit everything I am interested in? I couldn't find a strong way to differentiate. If I have a wide variety of interests and pleasures, why should I have to selectively dispose of certain desires?

    I rationalized that as long as the desire causes no harm to me psychologically or physically, or harms others, then the desire to wear diapers can be lopped into the same category as my other hobbies and interests, in other words, I shouldn't try and get rid of it.

  3. #3

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    I think what helped me come to terms with being an *BDL was finding out that they where others *BDLs out there that where able to live well adjusted lives. It made me realize that I could satisfy my desires for diapers and other baby things without letting those desires run my life.

    My first contact with the *BDL community was through Deeker. From the way the lifestyle is portraid by that moron, I really didn't see how I could be happy as an infantilist. It's trough talking to some slightly less insane people (RIP, Teen Baby Kingdom, and thanks for the sanity...) that I realized that I wasn't going to be happy unless I kept a balance between my desire to stay little and my need to grow up and become a mature adult.
    After that, acceptence came easily. After all, if it makes me happy and it doesn't negatively affect anyone, can it really be so bad?


    Sent from my iPhone

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    I think what helped me come to terms with being an *BDL was finding out that they where others *BDLs out there that where able to live well adjusted lives. It made me realize that I could satisfy my desires for diapers and other baby things without letting those desires run my life.

    My first contact with the *BDL community was through Deeker. From the way the lifestyle is portraid by that moron, I really didn't see how I could be happy as an infantilist. It's trough talking to some slightly less insane people (RIP, Teen Baby Kingdom, and thanks for the sanity...) that I realized that I wasn't going to be happy unless I kept a balance between my desire to stay little and my need to grow up and become a mature adult.
    After that, acceptence came easily. After all, if it makes me happy and it doesn't negatively affect anyone, can it really be so bad?


    Sent from my iPhone
    It was pretty much the same for me. Discovering ADISC was a bit of an eye-opener. A fetish community where the discourse was large non-fetishistic? Where you can actually find, polite, intelligent conversation? There's a genuine surprise. I think it was also the immenence of my 30th Birthday. I decided that life was way too short to spend being so deeply ambivalent about my own innermost desires.

  5. #5

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    Nothing, I figured that what I liked was my own business. That, and you're never alone, someone out there will always have a common interest.

  6. #6

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    For me, it was reading Bitter Grey and researching more about adult babies and diaper lovers. Once I understood what I was and did all the research I needed to do, I discovered ADISC.org. Not only is this site friendly, but it made me realize I shouldn't be ashamed of myself and that there are other people just like me who go through the same problems in life, understanding more about being an AB/DL, and coming to terms with who you are and acceptance.

  7. #7
    JDdl

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    Quote Originally Posted by Near View Post
    I think what helped me come to terms with being an *BDL was finding out that they where others *BDLs out there that where able to live well adjusted lives. It made me realize that I could satisfy my desires for diapers and other baby things without letting those desires run my life.

    My first contact with the *BDL community was through Deeker. From the way the lifestyle is portraid by that moron, I really didn't see how I could be happy as an infantilist. It's trough talking to some slightly less insane people (RIP, Teen Baby Kingdom, and thanks for the sanity...) that I realized that I wasn't going to be happy unless I kept a balance between my desire to stay little and my need to grow up and become a mature adult.
    After that, acceptence came easily. After all, if it makes me happy and it doesn't negatively affect anyone, can it really be so bad?


    Sent from my iPhone
    It was the exact same for me, even the running into deeker first. That guy seemed like a creep

  8. #8

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    I accepted myself after years of prayer, self-examination, and reflection. I no longer feel ashamed or guilty about this part of myself. In fact, sometimes I actually feel blessed. I could go into a lot of detail about how I reasoned this out. But, in the end, it all comes down to one simple fact: there is no good reason to be ashamed of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel tender or cute or loved.

    We were all young at one time; it's a part of every human being. And there's no moral reason why you shouldn't pretend to be a baby if you want to. You simply must show the same tact and restraint any other "normal" person in society is expected to show with their sexuality.

    I found inner peace with this years ago. Around that same time, I read through BitterGrey's site and I was impressed by the mature and rational tone he took with the subject. It was obvious to me that he has been through a moral struggle with it and I really applaud him for posting information to help others who are going through the same struggle.

    I only discovered ADISC about a year ago because I haven't really looked very hard for this sort of stuff online. The few groups of ABDLs I saw online looked really shady to me. Since they made me feel uneasy, I never wanted to be a part of them. I really think ADISC is a great idea. It allows us to discuss these things with others that are like us. That really helps. People are social creatures. Even when you accept yourself, it can be very difficult to feel like you're alone in your feelings.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by dungarees View Post
    I have slowly come to see that what on the surface is seemingly irrational can be rationalised.

    I wonder what it is we all need to finally accept ourselves, for me - information, but what is/was it for you?
    this could grind a bit but, anything can be rationalized; yep, even the holocaust (speaking of the nazi german one, but it also goes for the american, asian, soviet, afghan, armenian, african and whomever else ones). some things shouldn't be rationalized, and it's my wondering if that should be the case with our stuff?
    oft times, to rationalize is to dehumanize. i'd rather keep my humanity.

    'course, that's not to say that i haven't and don't attempt to rationalize my behaviours (how else could i know the above without having done so?).
    for me, there was only a small gap of about two years of not wearing diapers (at night, primarily) so, that and my feeling-cloths have been a part of my life for almost 37 years. i suspect that the cold rationale of the child put paid to any true confusion or concern regarding the aforementioned fixations. puberty, on the other hand, threw the slurry of my mind against a wall and then mushed it around. now, that's taken a fair bit of sorting out; for, just as anything can rationalized, anything can be sexualized.

    by the time i'd cleaned the mess up, i'd rediscovered the true nature of my diaper fixation (that's how i know it's not a fetish) and i'd also managed to strip down the more worrisome elements of my sexuality and establish that even my sometime attraction to members of the same sex were just skewed manifestations of an innate heterosexuality.
    the latter was the more arduous to determine, especially whilst in the throes of a mad fancy, and caused me serious worries. the sexualization of diapers, for me, is best spoken of in the same way as one would speak of the usual, brief, teenaged nonsense - just a blip.

    so, mine accepting my diaper thing and my feeling-cloth was fairly easy, my sexuality wasn't; and even though i had got to a point where i could rationalize my sexuality, it wasn't until i came online (11 years ago) and saw the pictures and 'heard' the words that i truely assured myself that that wasn't for me. it's that old difference between knowing something to true, and feeling it to be true - a case of the irrational (feelings) being more rational than the rationale; something that we, of this age, like to forget.

    as for the many, fickle shades of grey of normality: i'm not normal; accepting that was the first step in accepting myself.
    but, in doing that and all of the above (and more) i came to understand that i am much more normal than i'd ever thought. and while i accept that many people think that i'm odd (and i'm happy to pleasure them in that), they and i know that fundamentally i'm just like them, and accepting them for what and who they are is just as important as accepting oneself.
    once upon a time, it was hard for me to be accepted by 'them' as i didn't accept them (as much as i hadn't then learned to accept myself). nowdays, now that we play on the same field (though each of us with our own diversions and preferences), it's those who really aren't normal whom find it hard to accept me.
    i'm happy with that.

  10. #10

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