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Thread: Must everyone have sex?

  1. #1

    Default Must everyone have sex?

    The majority of my family (with that I mean them all, unless a few are lying about their beliefs) believe that homosexuality, and all other sexualities are wrong. Besides heterosexuality, anyway. Meaning even asexuality is sinful, and that everyone must have sex.

    Or that's how I take it, anyway.

    I love my family, but due to my openness on the subject (being entirely different from theirs) it causes plenty of snags.

    They want me to turn to Christianity, and I just want them to understand (and accept) others differences. Which I've told them time, and time again. Granted they do not (normally) bash anyone, so it's not a huge problem at the moment, but I am still hopeful that they will change. At least a bit anyway.

    So, yeah.

    My question: How do you feel about other sexualities? Are they wrong, or are they fine? Do you believe the 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' deconstruction will help, or hurt others in the military?

  2. #2

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    How do you feel about other sexualities?

    Being asexual myself, I have no problems with any other sexualities. I don't mind if someone is a homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, heterosexual or anything else. If it's two consenting adults I don't care a bit.

    Are they wrong, or are they fine?

    They're all fine as I said above.

    Do you believe the 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' deconstruction will help, or hurt others in the military?

    I think it would help in the long run to be perfectly honest. There already -were- gays in the military, they just couldn't say that they were. Being in the military is hard enough for most people without having the added pressure of hiding who they are and not being able to contact their loved ones for fear of being discharged.

    And to answer the question in the title: No. Everyone does NOT have to have sex. I think it's terrible that people think they should pressure people into it as well...or that they think something in people with alternative sexualities (including asexuality) is 'broken'. There's nothing wrong with them, the trouble is with the people who think they need to go on a crusade and change them so that they fit better with the crusaders' ideals of what people should and should not be.

  3. #3

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    Okay, you really have several different questions here. As far as how I personally feel about other sexualities, I think it is fine for people to do what they want to do, as long as they don't impose their will on others. That goes for heterosexuals, homosexuals and asexuals. I think what your family views as sex is more a thought on reproduction. Of course the only sex that will result in reproduction is between the male and female of any species. Humans and other species have been shown to have sex for other reasons than reproduction, however, such as physical enjoyment, domination (leadership within a group), bonding, etc. And there are some people that will obviously derive no pleasure from sex, regardless of the purpose or partner, and they should not feel like they are being forced to have sex.

    As far as the military goes, this is a difficult subject for many people to get a hold on, especially those that have not been in the military. When I was in the Army, I worked on a small team (four to six people) deployed by ourselves onto a forward position on the battlefield. In this type of environment, there is absolutely no privacy. We knew when everyone was doing everything. Our team was three males and three females.

    One issue that can arise is the thought of a relationship developing simply through proximity. While this never happened on our team, it did happen between teams occasionally, and the results were not good for unit cohesion when the relationships ended. Secondly, military members are generally young, and hormone levels are generally high, so that can present its own complication.

    Now, do I think that having homosexuals on my team would have caused a relationship to occur, or that there would have been issues? No, I don't. I am also not so naive to think that there were no homosexuals among our teams somewhere. I don't see any problem with having anyone in the military as long as they stick to my point in the first answer - don't impose yourself or your ideas on anyone. Telling someone you are homosexual is not imposing your ideas on them. Even asking someone out, if there has been some sort of clue that they might be interested, is not imposing. If they say no, say "I'm sorry", respect that and move on.

    "Don't ask, don't tell" would have worked in an ideal world if it had been explained for NO ONE to disclose their sexuality, be it hetero-, homo- or whatever. The military is not an ideal world, however, since people spend months on end in close quarters with no other contact other than those of your unit. The issue of sex and sexuality will eventually come up in conversation.

    I think what needs to happen is we just figure out how to best make it work for all of us. We did it with integration of the races into the military in the 40's, we can do it with this issue now.

  4. #4

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    It is my opinion that everyone should try sex at least once (for each of the 3/5/6 types (depending on how you look at it) if possible), but no you shouldn't feel pressured into it, if it's not for you then no one can make you.

    As for my opinions on sexuality, I'm fine with any sexuality that passes me by since I'm a rather odd sexuality myself. It's taking me a while to adapt to new gender definitions that I've been researching but I think I'll get there too.

    If your family isn't understanding do't worry it's not in their DNA for tolerance, the great nation of the USA was founded by people wanting to get away from the Church of England and find religious tolerance, when in reality it was they who had the problem with the CoE, (not the other way round) as the CoE had no qualms with any protestant church, being a break away from the Catholic Church itself. So tell them where to stick it and ignore them it has nothing to do with them anyway, you can always "join" an alternative church and "go" there whilst your family goes to their church, say you found Jesus in a more accepting setting.

  5. #5

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    Asexuality is sinful? For real? That's just some kind of hypocritical bull right there, because, as far as I can tell, nuns are pretty much virgins until they leave the practice. (My Grandmother's known some, and she's amazed and slightly jealous that they could not have sex for 80 years.)

    Eh, you're 18, you'll be out on your own soon enough. Can't really change a person, though. Both you and your family need to understand that. :/ I know, harsh. The only reason my mother lightened up on her super-Christian outlook was the shock of me becoming catatonic on the drugs that were prescribed due to my spiritual beliefs. And even then, she was absolutely terrified of me losing my personality to begin with, because I've saved her from herself (and others) a few times.

    As for the questions... I don't care as long as two (or more) consenting adults are doing it. Other orientations are fine with me, because, I, myself, do 'worse' things than two men under the covers with the lights out in the missionary position. As for Don't Ask Don't Tell... It has its pros and cons, to be honest. I don't like the concept that people can't be open about themselves, but seeing how many gay-hating douchebags from my old high school went into the military... It's probably a nice safety blanket for LGBT people in the military. So people should either stop hating other people just because they prefer partners with the same junk, or keep DADT. Once again, harsh world we live in.

    And, no, everybody does not need to have sex, which is really what you define as 'sex' anyways. Two people engaging in intercourse? Or are you just like me and say "Anything you do that makes you happy in the pants is a form of sexual activity, and therefore 'sex'". (I call masturbation 'self-sex', for the record.) Though it can be pretty amazing and I think that everybody should try it with another person at least once. I mean, I want to try everything at least once or twice...

    And that's why I have a box filled with 'toys'. Kehehe...

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    The majority of my family (with that I mean them all, unless a few are lying about their beliefs) believe that homosexuality, and all other sexualities are wrong. Besides heterosexuality, anyway. Meaning even asexuality is sinful, and that everyone must have sex.
    Well, kinda. Here's how it works lol.

    You must:
    --Not want to have homosexual encounters (unless you feel really, really bad about it and don't actually have them)
    --Want to have heterosexual encounters.
    --Not have heterosexual encounters unless you're married.
    --Feel bad about thinking about heterosexual encounters
    ----With people you aren't married to.
    ----"Too much"

    Basically, if you're not feeling bad about yourself, acknowledging how worthless you are, and acknowledging how awesome God is by not tossing you into a lake of fire, you're not doing it right.

    I would like to say I'm kidding, but this is likely a reasonably accurate portrayal.

  7. #7

    Default

    I have no problem with people of any sexual orientation, as long as they aren't being a creeper about trying to get me in bed with them. Don't think everyone must have sex either, though I'm bias in the fact that have about 0.1% interest in having sex with anyone :/.

  8. #8

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    Being asexual is definitely not a sin... that would be weird. That means you would commit a sin 99.9 % of your live, which excepts the time you actually have sex? Monks and nuns don't have sex. And they're very religious.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    The majority of my family (with that I mean them all, unless a few are lying about their beliefs) believe that homosexuality, and all other sexualities are wrong. Besides heterosexuality, anyway. Meaning even asexuality is sinful, and that everyone must have sex.

    Or that's how I take it, anyway.

    I love my family, but due to my openness on the subject (being entirely different from theirs) it causes plenty of snags.

    They want me to turn to Christianity, and I just want them to understand (and accept) others differences. Which I've told them time, and time again. Granted they do not (normally) bash anyone, so it's not a huge problem at the moment, but I am still hopeful that they will change. At least a bit anyway.

    So, yeah.

    My question: How do you feel about other sexualities? Are they wrong, or are they fine? Do you believe the 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' deconstruction will help, or hurt others in the military?
    Simple answer: they cannot be serious if they regard asexuality as a sin, given that there is a long tradition of it that goes right back to some of the Apostles!

    Quote them 1 Corinthians 7:17: Each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.

    And then sit down with them and read the whole of 1 Corinthians 7 - because the whole ethos is that you can do the right thing and marry - but equally you can do the right thing and stay single.

    There is a modest amount of material in the Bible that apparently condemns homosexuality (though there are several ways they can be argued), but there is a lot more about general sexual immorality which neither heterosexuals nor homosexuals are exempt from.

  10. #10
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    Personally, I think the only sexual sins are rape and adultery. Rape is an act that violates another's will and adultery is an act that violates a sacred trust. Of course, in Wicca, we would use the word "harmful" and not "sinful", since there's no such thing as sin in Wicca.

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