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Thread: What do I do here?! I'm at a loss

  1. #1

    Question What do I do here?! I'm at a loss

    Ok, this might turn out to be a rather long post

    ok so this all started new year's eve, i had spent the majority of december 31st with my girlfriend chrystal, she had come over the house and we played wii for a few hours and then went to church together for the new years service and potluck...

    for some reason, i felt sick to my stomach the minute i went through the door of the church, i felt really out of place since i had only been going to church for the past few months and she had been going since third grade....

    i was really upset because i couldn't even hug her without getting her in trouble, i didnt want to be there and she didnt want to be there, i had texted her even though we were next to each other saying, "I'd rather be back home doing something with you because i can't even hug you whilst in here"

    I went somewhere because i just wanted to be alone for a second and my girlfriend was right behind me and i snapped at her saying "Bite me, can i be alone for a minute?" she ran off crying. i gave her a little bit of time and then apologized the best i could.

    We both left at the same time, i was headed home and she was headed to her sister's fiancees house, i asked her to please text me and she said she would because she didnt want to be there...

    i got home and texted her and she said she didnt want to talk and i'm thinking, "Oh, shit. i fucked up" I then went on to her FB page and she had posted, " :'( this face discribes my night"

    I left a voicemail on her phone crying saying i would do anything to take back what i said. i then got a text message from her saying, "Its not you, everybodys drinking where i am and im really sensitive, im so sorry"

    All was well until saturday night....

    I had told her i loved her and she texted me back with a sad face and i asked what was the matter and shes like i dont want to hurt you but i fear i will, i dont really consider our love boyfriend/girlfriend love, i consider you a brother or dare i say it, a son

    i texted her back saying part of that was my fault, i had let my "mommy* feelings shine thru too much and i said i did have alot of other feelings for her

    shes willing to give our relationship some time as she grows into the idea of me getting her into bed, because to be honest, it would be a little awkward for me because ive known her for so long

    im at a loss and im wondering what to do about this

  2. #2


    There's not much you really can do. People come and go, mistakes are made, and time moves on. What's done is done, and you can't change how people think. Maybe this is one of those relationships that is actually better off on different terms, as in staying friends instead of being a regular couple. Losing a relationship in one sense doesn't mean you have to lose the person entirely, you just connect on different levels. If you still have feelings, but she doesn't, it doesn't mean that she hates you, it just means that she'd rather stay with you on a different term. Not much to do but accept it.

  3. #3


    I am sad that you are having a rough time. Maybe if you just focused on your relationship as friends for a little while. I know not very many people feel this way, but not being sexually active can make your feeling a lot clearer. I hope that you are able to look at the friendship you may gain and not the love relationship you may loose. Hope all works out well.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by goodnightmoon92
    it would be a little awkward for me because ive known her for so long
    Nonsence! I have known my fiancee since 2nd grade, that's 18 years! if my math is right...
    She is my best friend, and the love of my life. If you truly truly care for someone you will do anything for them, even if it means you have to wait for them for a while... Just tell her how you feel, and that you are and always will be their for here, and if she needs some time to clear her head, then you my friend have to just sit on your hands and wait. I'm not saying it's a sure fire thing, but being truthful, compassionate, understanding and patient, is your best option. Balls in her court it sounds like.

  5. #5


    Do your best to make the relationship work but in a way you'll both be happy. You didn't go into much detail about the mommy feelings between you two and what not, but that sounds like something that is a sit down and talk about sort of issue.

  6. #6


    Disaster Averted!

    Shes willing to forget the bad things that happened between us and im willing to give her time to adjust

  7. #7

  8. #8


    That's wonderful to hear. Just remember take it slow. Patients is a virtue!

  9. #9


    Give it time sweet talk and take a break on being a tb show her what a stud you can be

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Amaranth View Post
    That's wonderful to hear. Just remember take it slow. Patients is a virtue!
    Patients is what they call people in the hospital. Patience, however, is certainly virtuous.

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