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Thread: A small piece on wearing diapers and fulfilling emotional needs

  1. #1

    Default A small piece on wearing diapers and fulfilling emotional needs

    So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of introspection and, for lack of a better word, soul searching about AB/DL/infantilism/diaper fetishism or whatever you prefer to call it. I have always really struggled with “self acceptance” and I’m currently trying my best to get over that. This has led me to seek out a few different avenues and I’ve had a few very good and thought provoking conversations as a result.

    One of these conversations was actually with the pastor of the church I go to. Just for a bit of background, I go to a VERY open minded, gay welcoming, non-bible bashing/thumping church that strongly promotes personal growth with god rather than just following a list of rules on “how to be a good Christian.” I decided to confide with her (yes, it’s a female pastor) about being AB/DL in hopes of getting a point of view from someone who has studied a lot of religion and theology. After I very sheepishly, nervously, and choppily described my interests she reassured me and asked a few clarification questions. She then started to ask me some “guided questions” to help me think about it the way someone from her standpoint would think about it. One of the questions she asked me really floored me, and has made quite an impact on me. The question was, “What need does this fulfill for you?” She asked me if I agreed with the idea that everything, or almost everything, we do in this life is “need driven.” I said “yes” and have been contemplating that topic ever since. It’s been almost a month since she asked me that question and I have finally arrived at a few conclusions as to what “needs” wearing diapers and acting out regression fantasies fulfills for me. These, of course, fall into a “including, but not limited to” and “subject to change at any time,” kind of category, but here it goes.

    First, I feel that wearing diapers allows me to feel, in essence, “vulnerable.” It takes a little bit of explaining about my family situation as to why I would desire a place where it was okay and safe to feel vulnerable (Ironic concept, no?) that I don’t really want to go into. Suffice it to say, I got a lot of signals from my parents that things about them, and also the world I was living in, were not always safe, secure, sound, and healthy. I think that in typical “male fashion,” I overcompensated for this by adopting the conscious attitude that “I must be strong.” All the while, my subconscious was crying out to have a safe place, a place where I didn’t have to fix all the world’s problems, a place where I could let my guard down and still be safe. And of course, what better place for that than a securely tucked in a baby crib, swaddled tightly in soft diaper, with a teddy bear and paci and well…I’m sure you can get the picture.

    Secondly, I feel that diapers offer me the reassurance that, at some point, someone will have to come and pay attention to me to at least check, if not change my diaper. Even though this wouldn’t be happening when I was wearing diapers after potty training, I feel as though my subconscious desperately wanted this reassurance. As before, I feel as though this can be explained by my family situation, since parental attention in my household was on a somewhat limited and “as needed” basis.

    Finally, I know that I associated wearing diapers as a method of coping with anxiety. I don’t remember much from the potty training era, other than feeling very nervous and anxious about having accidents and feeling as though I was “bad” or “naughty” if I had an accident. When I had a diaper on, these worries didn’t apply. As I grew, when I encountered anxiety, my subconscious desired to fall back on what had alleviated anxiety in previous situations, trusty old diapers. (Not old as in used, I’m sure you know what I mean, lol)

    So I know that this is pretty long, and I’m sorry If I’ve bored any of you, but now I want to ask YOU the same question my pastor asked me. What need(s) do(es) wearing diapers fulfill for you? I look forward to hearing your responses!
    Take Care
    ~Tommy

  2. #2

    Default

    What a thought-provoking starter! My need is a practical need as I am a BW. I appreciate for some the need is emotional. How wonderful you have someone to talk to and ask questions of you. You clearly draw strength from it. I feel a lot of people using this site would benefit.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by teddybeartommy View Post
    So I know that this is pretty long, and I’m sorry If I’ve bored any of you, but now I want to ask YOU the same question my pastor asked me. What need(s) do(es) wearing diapers fulfill for you? I look forward to hearing your responses!
    Take Care
    ~Tommy
    Not long, not boring, and a very interesting question.

    Me, well, I'm still exploring the AB component, as I have found enjoyment that is non-sexual in nature in wearing a diaper.

    As to my caretaker fetish, my wife and I are still plumbing the depths of it, as it heavily surrounds humiliation, almost soft-core bondage in nature, with the diaper and associated babying being a powerful symbol of humiliation and domination to me.

    This no doubt reaches back into my childhood, as I have stated in my intro on the forum. Like you, my measure of positive attention in the family was on a p.r.n. basis, but negative attention was available in virtually unlimited supply, my mother and grandmother being disciplinarians, and my mother with a seriously short temper. I have very, very vague recollections of being subjected to humiliation in this form as a youngster, though they are few, and all featured accident in underwear, followed by diapering and/or spanking and diapering, coupled with derision regarding being a baby.

    My mother has told me on more than one occasion that I was a very slow trainer, to the point where they were concerned whether I would actually get there in time for kindergarten (back then, you didn't get into kindergarten if you weren't trained). Years later (in my early teens), I observed my mother's merciless treatment of daycare kids who had accidents (spanked, diapered, and referred to scornfully as "baby" until parents arrived, then encouraging the parents to add more humiliation) and one particular little girl who was nearly 4 and hadn't even taken interest in potty training yet (every diaper change included a vicious diatribe on her being a baby, particularly when she soiled herself). This was proof positive that the few incidents I recall were by no means the only ones, which probably leads back to where the whole domination component arose.

    I have come to understand that most sexual fetishes have roots in childhood trauma, so none of that surprises me, although it is difficult for me to comprehend why there would be non-sexual appeal in AB for me, since I experienced so much trauma surrounding diapers.

    That's about the best answer I can offer. Hopefully it isn't too dark or off-topic for the thread. By no means was I interested in casting a shadow.
    Last edited by WBDaddy; 22-Dec-2010 at 18:06. Reason: Editing for clarity

  4. #4

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    The need to feel 'vulnerable' I can relate. It more of letting oneself free from any preconceive notices of how one must act, and being diapered breaks this ideology. A lot of things can work to create this vulnerability such as wearing paw shaped mittens and staying on all fours. (I'm also an avid petplayist.) Being vulnerable and having to rely on another for care is a wonderful emotion. Let alone, the humility to beg for something adds into the vulnerability of it all.

    As well, in such a state allows that reassurance that someone is there to take care of you. Being good results in being treated and pampered, while the opposite occurs, if you are stubborn or get snippy at your caretaker, he/she would revoke some privileges, like take a toy away or put you in timeout. Sometimes, if I curse, I had my hair pulled and get scolded, "Little girls aren't suppose to talk like that." Being discipline goes along with the reassurance, cause afterward, you get treated for it, by either a comforting gesture or a compliment of being good.

    In summary: diapers help me feel that vulnerability that becomes a comfort when you have someone to care for you.

  5. #5

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    Yeah, the vulnerability is a big thing with me. Bigger than that is that my experiences in the AB community have helped me learn when stoic strength is really necessary, and when it just damages you and impairs communication.

  6. #6

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    I'm pretty sure everyone has to do some self-analysis sometimes as to why they are what they are. I've always thought my story was a little odd because of how perfect it is. If *B/DL comes from trauma in childhood, I have no idea how I've come to exist. My childhood was perfect. I was the firstborn (so my parents complete attention). I didn't have any trouble potty training (that I can remember). and my parents and family have always been pretty stress-free. So it's a mystery how I came about.

  7. #7

    Default

    As a plain DL, I don't really see what about it fulfills me... who knows what could be going on in one's subconscious, the one thing is proven by the fact that we don't even know it's there? Anyhow... as I am exploring into this (and it didn't help that, in psychology, we just lightly touched on parafilia, baisically what it was, and that it's considered a psycho-sexual disorder), and I'm finding that at this point for me, it's one of those things that you don't know why you like it (or why I dislike the *B component, personally), and you just act on it.

    It's like asking, "Why do you like the taste of sweet foods?" to me, because we don't know why exactly, the justification is only that it's sweet.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by teddybeartommy View Post
    So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of introspection and, for lack of a better word, soul searching about AB/DL/infantilism/diaper fetishism or whatever you prefer to call it. I have always really struggled with “self acceptance” and I’m currently trying my best to get over that. This has led me to seek out a few different avenues and I’ve had a few very good and thought provoking conversations as a result.

    One of these conversations was actually with the pastor of the church I go to. Just for a bit of background, I go to a VERY open minded, gay welcoming, non-bible bashing/thumping church that strongly promotes personal growth with god rather than just following a list of rules on “how to be a good Christian.” I decided to confide with her (yes, it’s a female pastor) about being AB/DL in hopes of getting a point of view from someone who has studied a lot of religion and theology. After I very sheepishly, nervously, and choppily described my interests she reassured me and asked a few clarification questions. She then started to ask me some “guided questions” to help me think about it the way someone from her standpoint would think about it. One of the questions she asked me really floored me, and has made quite an impact on me. The question was, “What need does this fulfill for you?” She asked me if I agreed with the idea that everything, or almost everything, we do in this life is “need driven.” I said “yes” and have been contemplating that topic ever since. It’s been almost a month since she asked me that question and I have finally arrived at a few conclusions as to what “needs” wearing diapers and acting out regression fantasies fulfills for me. These, of course, fall into a “including, but not limited to” and “subject to change at any time,” kind of category, but here it goes.

    First, I feel that wearing diapers allows me to feel, in essence, “vulnerable.” It takes a little bit of explaining about my family situation as to why I would desire a place where it was okay and safe to feel vulnerable (Ironic concept, no?) that I don’t really want to go into. Suffice it to say, I got a lot of signals from my parents that things about them, and also the world I was living in, were not always safe, secure, sound, and healthy. I think that in typical “male fashion,” I overcompensated for this by adopting the conscious attitude that “I must be strong.” All the while, my subconscious was crying out to have a safe place, a place where I didn’t have to fix all the world’s problems, a place where I could let my guard down and still be safe. And of course, what better place for that than a securely tucked in a baby crib, swaddled tightly in soft diaper, with a teddy bear and paci and well…I’m sure you can get the picture.

    Secondly, I feel that diapers offer me the reassurance that, at some point, someone will have to come and pay attention to me to at least check, if not change my diaper. Even though this wouldn’t be happening when I was wearing diapers after potty training, I feel as though my subconscious desperately wanted this reassurance. As before, I feel as though this can be explained by my family situation, since parental attention in my household was on a somewhat limited and “as needed” basis.

    Finally, I know that I associated wearing diapers as a method of coping with anxiety. I don’t remember much from the potty training era, other than feeling very nervous and anxious about having accidents and feeling as though I was “bad” or “naughty” if I had an accident. When I had a diaper on, these worries didn’t apply. As I grew, when I encountered anxiety, my subconscious desired to fall back on what had alleviated anxiety in previous situations, trusty old diapers. (Not old as in used, I’m sure you know what I mean, lol)

    So I know that this is pretty long, and I’m sorry If I’ve bored any of you, but now I want to ask YOU the same question my pastor asked me. What need(s) do(es) wearing diapers fulfill for you? I look forward to hearing your responses!
    Take Care
    ~Tommy
    Sexual needs, related to being turned on by vulnerability and embarrassment, I get to make believe, jerk off...and that's pretty much all I've figured out. As for why I find this fetish enjoyable, I've never really figured it out.

  9. #9

    Default

    Well, arguably humans get a pleasant sensation from eating sweet food because they contain sugars. Sugars are the source of energy that is most easily broken down, absorbed, and quickly used for energy in the human body. It makes perfect sense that humans would want to eat sweet things.

  10. #10

    Default

    For me, having been at a boarding school since the age of 7 (I'm blaming my parents for sending me to boarding school - I absolutely loved it and feel it has prepared me well for life) I think I matured mentally very quickly for my age, as did everyone else at the school. I think therefore that the AB/DL side of me reflects a desire to not to have had to mature so quickly and ot still be the little kid that possibly I missed out on being.

    For example a couple of months after starting at that school I started wearing all my pants (briefs) under my pyjamas to simulate the thickness of a nappy in bed. I also used to put lumps of toilet paper in my pants so that there was a bulge as though as I pooped myself. This was at age 7. I think it was because I was becoming more independent than most kids my age, I wanted to have a more childish/babyish emotion to fall back on. Certainly by my second year at that school it didn't matter to me whether it was my parents, or matron, or the housmaster, or whoever was looking after me and the AB desires represent a time when I longed to be in mummy or daddy's protection, and nobody elses.

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