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Thread: Relationships or fetish?

  1. #1

    Default Relationships or fetish?

    I think I am coming to terms with the reality that I very well may never experience a diaper change as an adult, nor have an intimate relationship with another man who shares in this fetish.

    A decade ago, when my hormones were still raging, that thought would have been mortifying. I thought that if a relationship with me were to work, it would have to be with a "Daddy" - nothing else would do.

    But now, I realize I would rather have a relationship centered on compatibility in most areas other than on any given fetish. I want to be in a relationship where I can put my strengths on the table, instead of the zero-sum situation that I once was hoping to inflict upon a "Daddy" figure.

    Does this mean I'm finally learning how to be an adult? I certainly hope so. It took long enough.

    My boyfriend accepts my fetish, but it's not his fetish and he would rather not participate in anything to do with it. I'd rather keep him for the long haul than to put my fetish on the foreground and lose all.

    Living life thinking with my heart, mind and soul instead of with my hormones - it's a lot more rewarding that way.

  2. #2

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    I think that is a very mature view to take although it is unfortunate that your partner is unwilling to participate. Not everyone is comfortable with fetishes so I wouldn't blame him but you shouldn't give up all hope because as your relationship progresses, things may change. How long have you had this boyfriend? Maybe the relationship just needs extra time. If you have a healthy loving relationship then I think you are doing the right thing and sticking with it.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by happydl View Post
    I think that is a very mature view to take although it is unfortunate that your partner is unwilling to participate. Not everyone is comfortable with fetishes so I wouldn't blame him but you shouldn't give up all hope because as your relationship progresses, things may change. How long have you had this boyfriend? Maybe the relationship just needs extra time. If you have a healthy loving relationship then I think you are doing the right thing and sticking with it.
    I wouldn't say I have "given up all hope". It would be more accurate to say that what I am hoping for has underwent a transformation. It was once one thing, now it is something completely different.

  4. #4

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    Relationships are so much more than fetishes and sexual relations. Honestly, it's less that you're growing up, more that you're figuring out what you want. I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't into this sort of stuff, but I think it's so much more important that you're looking for more than that from him. I really do believe that a relationship isn't two perfect people, but one perfect couple.

    When you grow old together it won't be about who gave up what, or conceded to what for whom. It's the man that loves you despite it all and is still there, loving you just as much.

    (On a lighter note: You're not growing up necessarily, you're evolving, like a Pokemon!)

  5. #5

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    Yeah, I love my man very much. I don't feel like I am giving up anything for him, seeing all that I am gaining just by having him in my life.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlushingBunny View Post
    I really do believe that a relationship isn't two perfect people, but one perfect couple.
    Canīt be written better. Unfortunately this doesnīt know my ex.

  7. #7

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    i have just meet a sweet young lady and feeling that she is the one i fearfully opened up to her. telling her of my diaper fetish and playing with the AB side. i was sure she would run away and not talk to me again, but she was like i think that is cute. the night ended with something along the lines of you can be my big baby. then last night and today we got online and and looked at adult baby clothes that we both liked. it was beyond a dream

  8. #8

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    one day i hope to tell my gf about all my fetishes; i believe it can only make our relationship stronger

  9. #9

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    Ack! You see, you post this during my finals week Kaw, and I totally miss it.

    I agree that it is not generally a very wise approach to go looking for someone who merely promises to satisfy the fetish. To me, that just indicates a relationship based on one primary element: sex. Yeah, sure, sex may be very important, but it's not everything in life, and what happens when you grow tired of each other in that way? To me, it sounds like more of a 'one night stand' seeking approach to look for someone in your fetish circle. Sure, lasting relationships have started that way, but I'll reckon not nearly as often as they do in the standard personality searching approaches.

    Perhaps I'm not the best judge, as I am almost 23 and have never even been out on a date before in my life , but I just don't see any point in going around and hounding the very few straight female 'eligible bachelors' in this fetish community for contact. I don't want to even start a relationship unless I am positive it can last and that it would truly matter. I feel that any sex-based approach of searching would leave me empty-handed in the long run.

  10. #10

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    Since I'm typing on my iPhone at work, this post might not be as complete as it could be.

    I am in a relationship of over two years now with the man of my dreams. He is also a 24/7-diaper-wearing DL that, although he doesn't quite get the ab side, is willing to occasionally give me some baby time and always enjoys when I'm feeling little and gives me the latitude to do it as I care to.

    When going into a relationship, one has to decide what's important to them. Having had a few short relationships where the other half had no interest in anything diaper-related, I eventually decided that my partner had to also be some form of an abdl if it was ever going to work. Obviously, we had to be compatible as human beings as well, but I was willing to risk remaining single rather than having an unfulfilling relationship. I'm an only child, and I've always made my own way in life, so being single was not a bad thing or a threat. If anything, I believe that if you can't be happy single, then you are not ready for a relationship.

    In my case, I met Mr. X at an abdl Halloween party. Some people I knew a bit invited me, and Mr. X was there. We started talking, and I wound up going home with him and spending the whole next day with him. We were compatible as human beings. After 1.5 years of doing a long-distance relationship, where one of us drove 5 hours one way to see the other every weekend, we now have a house together and are still living the dream.

    So yes, it's possible to find an abdl spouse. It's not easy, but it's possible. You have to know what you want and be capable of going it alone if you can't find it. And, true of finding a spouse with compatible interests, you have to go where those people are. If you're a gamer, you have to go to hobby shops and the like. If you're a cyclist, you have to go to races and events. If you're an abdl, you have to hit the internets and parties. A gamer isn't going to find a spouse at a loud club.

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