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Thread: Helping a Friend?

  1. #1

    Default Helping a Friend?

    This girl, who's very open with things to me, came to me and said that she'd wet the bed last night. I didn't want to divulge any of my knowledge about the subject, to save me some funny looks. Though, she seemed very freaked out. This brings me to believe that she's not giving me the full story. Though, this could be due to the circumstance... what should I do? What should I tell her?

    I'm just kind of worried that she might be doing it more than just last night, and, if it's a constant thing, I'm thinking that she may need a doctor visit. There is the ever-common stress diagnosis, but I think that there could be something else wrong...

    Or do you guys think that I'm overreacting?

  2. #2

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    Well, bedwetting can be a sign of something like a urinary tract infection, but it can also be caused by something as simple as drinking too much before bed or stress. (Or, y'know, having toilet dreams.) If it continues to happen, she should go see a doctor. But for now, since it's the first time, just reassure her that everything's a-ok and that it'll all work out.

    Ask her if she's done it before, and if she has, then it might be time for a doctor's visit just to rule anything physical out. (Like a bladder infection, muscle issues, etc.) And, hey, if the doc says it's just stress, then she has the perfect person to go to for 'product advice'. (Though she might want to talk to a counselor if it's stress, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now you can't decide your line of action if you don't have all your info.)

    I think you're just worried for your lady-friend, which is perfectly natural all considering. I remember being in a similar situation when one of my brother's friends confided in me about his own... issues. (It's much more depressing than it sounds; His parents didn't really care about him and he felt like he had nowhere else to turn to but me. Probably because he had a huge crush on me until he moved to Texas...) I was just kind of like "Omaigawd you have a deadly kidney condition and you're going to die!" "Nei, I don't think it's like tha-" "YOU CAN HAVE MY KIDNEY." Never found out what happened to him 'cause we didn't keep in touch... *sadface* He was like the polite little brother that I always wanted. (No, you pervies, it was totally platonic.))

  3. #3

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    Alright, I'll try asking her tomorrow. One of those "You need to tell me: Has it ever happened before." Drills. Even if she was lying the first time, She knows when I get serious, like that, she'll tell the truth. If she's telling the truth (granted it doesn't happen again tonight) then she should be just fine, If not, I will recommend a visit to the doctor, and possibly the counselor, later.

  4. #4

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    Depending upon how well you know her, I imagine if she was willing to tell you about it, it probably is something that is really concerning her and perhaps she wanted to talk about. You also said that she seemed a little "freaked out" about it.

    My suggestion would simply be to discreetly bring up the subject again with her and ask if she is doing OK. If you are showing concern, she shouldn't be upset about you bringing it up. I admit I'm no doctor or psychologist , but I would ask if everything else is alright and that you simply wanted to ask because she seemed a little freaked out. That would open the door back up for an opportunity to see if there is anything else that seems to be a problem or if it has happened before.

    If she says it hasn't happened before, and it doesn't happen again, a single bed-wetting incident isn't a lot to be concerned with. There are a lot of things that could cause it, from emotional reasons, medications, being overtired, intoxicated, to even being in a deep sleep and dreaming that you are awake and using the bathroom.

    If it is something that has occurred regularly, or if there are other problems going on such as pain associated with it, then you should suggest she see a doctor.

    Is there any chance that she might know of your DL situation and shared this because she thought you might understand?

    Anyhow, use your best judgment. Think about what you would like someone to say or how they could help if you were in her place.

  5. #5

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    She said that she hadn't done it, even as a little kid, and she shared no "toilet dream" with me. Not to say that there wasn't one present, but on your suggestion of the DL thing, it's almost physically imposable for her to know... trust me. I doubt that even family members close to me could figure it out, with my degree of secrecy that I have on the subject.

    Anyhow, thanks for the advice. I'll talk to her tomorrow... hopefully in private. I'll definitely report what she says, and the action(s) taken.

  6. #6

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    I don't have any additional input to offer. Shukkume and CowboyBearcub covered the best suggestions in my opinion. I wanted to post here to let you know that someone else read your question. CowboyBearcub asked what I had thought, maybe she knew about your DL side, but you addressed that. Good luck Dann!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by mikescreename View Post
    I don't have any additional input to offer. Shukkume and CowboyBearcub covered the best suggestions in my opinion. I wanted to post here to let you know that someone else read your question. CowboyBearcub asked what I had thought, maybe she knew about your DL side, but you addressed that. Good luck Dann!
    I appreciate that ^^

  8. #8

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    I've known more than a few girls who wet themselves when getting drunk… it wasn't that right?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by banter View Post
    I've known more than a few girls who wet themselves when getting drunk… it wasn't that right?
    I highly doubt it... she hadn't mentioned it, but I can't rule it out. No teen can escape scrutiny over alcohol.

  10. #10

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    If it's a teen who has recently just started serious drinking that would be my guess based on the information provided.

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