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Thread: Very very sensitive topic, may trigger people Links of Childhood experience and AB

  1. #1

    Default Very very sensitive topic, may trigger people Links of Childhood experience and AB

    *contains mention of abuse-non explicit*


    I recently read an article mentioning a link between negative child experience such as abuse causing things like infant behaviours later on.

    It would explain a lot for me, I was abused by my step-father....and i kind of use AB to cope.

    Is this true for anyone else?

  2. #2

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    I have heard of this on incontinence forums that have had nothing to do with "knowledgeable AB/DL". People would just openly admit that in a ball of tears (that they either used diapers as a security blanket or it was a factor in helping them cope) and they pretty much searched for acceptance which was widely given. Fact is, you do what ever you need to do and your special for that. Personally, my being a babyfur helps me cope with my disabilities, and yours helps you cope with your childhood trama, and a ton of members on here use it to cope with day to day stress, broken families, hard times, and much more.

    Your mind is definitly in the right place and infantilism is commonly based from tramatic childhood experiences from what i gather.

    *huggles*

    Your friendly neighborhood fopsy,

    Chi.

  3. #3

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    I think that is possible for me, to some degree.

    One of my earliest childhood memories involved me being so proud to be in big-boy underwear (I was four at the time), only to have my father dragging me to the changing table, ripping them off and taping a diaper on me. I remember I was wearing regular underwear on-and-off at that time.

    Another experience that I remember is all throughout my childhood, I constantly had people telling me that I acted like an infant, and they meant it in a derogatory way. My first-grade teacher often sent me to the pre-school class and forced me to sit in there because she did not know how to deal with my Asperger's. Nobody knew how to deal with it, so they just kept on verbally degrading me in so many ways. Even the people in the mental hospital I was sent to when I was 10 acted that way towards me, and you'd think professionals would know better than to do that. But back then, nobody knew all that much about what I was born with, so they thought they could just force me to act normally by constantly rubbing my face in how abnormal my actions and feelings were. I remember, even when I was 15, my mother expressed that she wanted to bend me over her knee and spank me because she thought I was acting so childishly. That was rather humiliating and embarrasing, and I really hope nobody is fapping to my memories of that happening, because to me, it was soul-crushing.

    My childhood was full of pain - verbal and emotional abuse from the adults, physical abuse from my classmates, humiliation was constant and it seemed like it would never end.

    I don't know how much of that has to do with me being an AB today. I guess a part of me wants to have some form of childhood that is free from those horrid memories. That's my theory, anyway.

  4. #4

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    I can really sympathise with you LittleHanah. I have wonderful parents, very laid back and understanding and tey've accepted me for who i am (ab stuff aside, still waiting on that one). However my being a babyfur/AB stems from being.... abused... by my uncle. Someone who until then I'd looked up to greatly.

    It did really mess me up inside for a while and I was very close to making a very ill thought decision. Turning back to my younger childhood before those events helped, and when I found a TB forum and subsequently, the furry fandom I felt like I'd found where I belonged.

  5. #5

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    Wow its so reassuring to know maybe there is a common reason..(perhaps not for everyone but some).

    --> ciharu , It is interesting , I guess our minds use many different outlets to cope with what was not given. I am happy you too found something that helps you deal with things. You are correct, many people infantilism because of daily stress, or just general liking it ..

    Kaonru&Colfpup--->
    i am so sorry Kawonru that you had to go through so much turmoil just because of people not taking the time to understand. I think so much hurt comes from people judging so quickly. I hope that at least now you dont have to deal with the daily battering of other people. . Its sad from all your replies that it seems to stem from someone we trust or are supposed to trust.

    My stepfather I trusted very much. My mother trusted him enough to leave him alone with me..and then he changed everything forever and I had to grow up so fast...In fact I gear more towards just baby clothes and bottles and pacys..Im not much of a DL. Just being a childlike person..giggiling at silly things...just baby stuff hehe.

    Thanks for input so far guys

  6. #6

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    I feel like the odd one out in this forum, and in the community, because I actually don't have a whole lot of AB/DL/BF/ECT. qualities... I guess I've never told anyone but really feel like being truthfull right now...

    My name is Roy, I'm 16, I play football, I have tons of GOOD friends, I get good grades, work my Butt off in weight lifting and have earned the love ands respect of many or most of my pears... what people wouldent expect is that this sophmore in high school wears Daipers nearly ever day, and EVERY night, because of the phycological abuse he went through...

    I was born with A serious nervous disorder that brought me epoleptic seizers as a infant, the cure for this... phynobarbital, a hardly effective medication that seriously stunts the mental growth of children... I took this medication untill age 1 when i was maraculously cured with herbal treament by my grandfather... My father has been a drunk since I can remember, and has always been abusive, not in a physical way, as many might expect, but in a mental and emotional way most take for granted... I was expected to be a perfect little boy, and at age 2 was potty trained. A memory I retain to this day, is my father screaming at me that if I wet the bed one more time, I would be whipped with a belt... I was 4. coupled with not being ready for any of this due to slow mental development, I was in a since Tramatized.

    next cause was probably the fact that I was disrespected, hated, and alaround loathed by most everyone untill grade 8, I was constantly picked on and degraded by all my schoolmates, and had no friends to stand by me, I was the freakish little redhead. My grades failed, and my parents (Particularly my father) saw *thought* the only way to fix it was with constant harrassment and punishment, grounding, belting, having everything taken from me, I had no where to turn, At least that I was aware of.

    aside from all this, I had no I dea how to have a relationship with God, and wasnt sure he would do a dam* thing about my problems if he did exist.

    Today, I do my best to live a good life, and a spiritual one. I think I'm doing well, but i still see that shadows of my past, and there is no one to help me with that. I still have to struggle to keep that smile on my face even though Its hard to be a friend to everyone I can, I still try my very hardest every day to keep my grades up, to little success at times, still dought fills my religios/spiritual life, and I still retain that one thing that made me feel like I could forget it all... Diapers, why that? I may never understand, but I do understand that I'm very blessed to have a SUPPORT COMMUNITY who will accept me no matter how odd I seem to outsiders... I only wish the relationship could be more sincere than keystokes and faceless names...

    Thanks guys for listening to the ramblings of some 16 year old... I'd be overjoyed to talk to anyone who feels like giving me their time...

    Thank you again
    -GodSpeed

  7. #7

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    This actually got me thinking a little bit of my childhood. My first though was that there wasn't anything traumatic or psychological that happened to me. However on further meditation I remember that my mom's boyfriend (parents were divorced when I was 2-ish) was constantly abusing her in front of me. Many time my mom would try to keep me in my room when ever he would get home so I wouldn't see. This happened for a few years, I think that is how diapers became my security blanket, because I would always be to scared to use the bathroom and would opt for a diaper or pull-up based on if my stuff was in the room or if not my cousins was.

    Very profound, I had never actually made the connection. I thank you for sparking the thought.

    *Huggles* ^_^

    Be well

  8. #8

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    I was always a very solitary child. I wanted to be left alone and teach myself to read. I didn't like playing with other children. I didn't yearn for that. I knew that what was going on outside my bedroom door was inevitably stupid and drug- or alcohol-fueled, and so I learned to be a surprisingly self-sufficient kid. I grew up way too early.

    As such, I think my infantile leanings are an attempt to see what I had to miss out on as a child.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by UnCertain View Post
    aside from all this, I had no I dea how to have a relationship with God, and wasnt sure he would do a dam* thing about my problems if he did exist.

    Today, I do my best to live a good life, and a spiritual one. I think I'm doing well, but i still see that shadows of my past, and there is no one to help me with that. I still have to struggle to keep that smile on my face even though Its hard to be a friend to everyone I can, I still try my very hardest every day to keep my grades up, to little success at times, still dought fills my religios/spiritual life, and I still retain that one thing that made me feel like I could forget it all... Diapers, why that? I may never understand, but I do understand that I'm very blessed to have a SUPPORT COMMUNITY who will accept me no matter how odd I seem to outsiders... I only wish the relationship could be more sincere than keystokes and faceless names...
    Well, as a fellow 16 year old i can firmly say to the deepest darkest essance of my being my hatred towards religion is so vast if i think about it much i quivver, i hide it because people are passionate about their feelings... but because of the pains i experienced growing up... its pretty crooked to say but when i get deeply deeply angry... like deeply... my daydreams are pretty much destroying places of worship and destroying any type of god or ruling diety.

    Pretty much... seriously... and this is comming from a girl whos world is covered in pink and teddy bears and soft cuddly diapers and my massively intimedatiing wheelchair/crutches of doom. This is literally how angry i am... like reeeaaly angry... the only analogy i could make is if you were like a parent... and someone came in and killed your partner and raped and killed your children... and now think about what you would do to that person... well thats pretty much what i want to do to god.

    Pretty scary huh? Not something i really actively advertise but yep... thats one of the ways my mind mentally copes with the madness that is my life. Hahaha wow Talkin like that makes me feel like im a loonie, but hey... thats a prime example as to why i dont believe in any gods...


    Because if there was a god... i would "turn to the dark side" in a heart beat.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rheeer View Post
    I was always a very solitary child. I wanted to be left alone and teach myself to read. I didn't like playing with other children. I didn't yearn for that. I knew that what was going on outside my bedroom door was inevitably stupid and drug- or alcohol-fueled, and so I learned to be a surprisingly self-sufficient kid. I grew up way too early.

    As such, I think my infantile leanings are an attempt to see what I had to miss out on as a child.
    I totally agree and understand about growing up way too early...

    My dad always had high hopes for me and my brothers. He had 8 of us just to make sure one of us became his perfect little child. None of us were individuals, only bodies and young lives which he could live vicariously through. If we strayed from the path he set out for us, he would pretend to be interested to get you manipulated. Then the alcohol took over his mind... Your opinions didn't matter and he'd subtly tell you ur interests were stupid, pointless, and lame. Then he'd throw in a ridiculously convincing argument to sway your mind towards his ideas so that you'd follow in his footsteps.

    After i expressed my disdain for his methods of parenting then told him I wasn't taking over the family business, he basically turned his back on me. I haven't seen him in well over a year and talked to him once over the phone about 5 months ago. He was calling to ask me if i wanted to work for him again.....

    Seeing the rough lives of my mom and brothers plus enduring the bullying by my brothers and the numerous drugs and alcohol around my father really caused me to go back to younger times. Times where my father didn't have such high expectations for me. Times where we could just live life normally and care free. But that time was over so fast that by the time I realized what people meant about life being short, I was given the responsibilities of an adult, 6 years too early. I have cried so much throughout my childhood that I no longer have any tears left to cry. It makes me feel even more depressed really. I've become so desensitized to depression and happiness that I can't cry away my problems and move on. They linger and seem to eat at me constantly.

    Diapers were my path to calm and bliss. Regression allowed me to maintain that small shred of imagination I had left. That one bit of happiness and ignorant bliss within my life. My past youth. Those were the romanticized days I yearn for...

    ---------- Post added at 01:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:03 AM ----------

    I gotta say though... If there's anything that ever really moves me anymore, it's hearing your guys' stories and realizing that we all have a lot more in common than I really realized. It's feeling like I actually belong somewhere.

    I'm so sorry to/for all of you... None of us deserved those terrible childhoods. as cheesy and sappy as it sounds though, we all discovered each other at least, and after counting my blessings out of this cruel life, I'm glad I was granted the ability to meet all of you and find a place where I can be myself without worry.

    Like I said, I may sound like an after school special, but i'm just being honest... Thanks guys.

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