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Thread: Boyfriend moving in - advice and ideas please

  1. #1

    Default Boyfriend moving in - advice and ideas please

    I could do with some advice please...

    My boyfriend is going to be moving in to live with me in a couple of weeks time. I've lived on my own for the past 6 years, and have got very used to not having to consider other people in the way I lead my life at home. But that's obviously going to change.
    I've never told anyone (apart from on here) about my ABDL side, and really can't imagine telling my boyfriend. There's too much at stake and it's not worth the risk.
    So it seems that I'm going to have to have to dramatically curb my ABDL indulgences - especially sleeping with a dummy which I do loads, and wearing diapers, which I do from time to time. Sitting here wearing my diaper and sucking my dummy, I feel pretty sad about that.
    I'm probably going to keep my dummies, bottle and other bits and pieces, but I can't think of where I'm going to keep them where they won't be found. I'm imagining that I'll probably only be able to indulge myself very rarely when my boyfriend isn't around, but even then, I'd be worried that he would come back unexpected and find me out. And I don't like keeping secrets from him anyway.

    So I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation - of boyfriend (or girlfriend) moving in, and this having an impact on your ABDLism. How did you deal with it or how are you dealing with it?

  2. #2


    if your not at a point where you can tell your boyfriend about this side of you, i would be reconsidering the relationship personaly. Something like this is one of those things that can and might bring a drastic end to your relationship with him in the future. Anyone that i was in a relationship and living with i personaly would consider it a must know about part of me.

    his more likely then not going to notice that you aren't as relaxed or something like that since you aren't letting this side out regularly. so i would personaly say its probably time to at least start feeling him out on how he feels about ABDL so that you can come out to him fully about it.

  3. #3


    I agree with garfiode, if your at that far in you need to share that with him. i might be a slightly young teen but i can definitly tell you that if he cant respect you for who you are then its not worth the relationship.

    If he truely loves you, there should be absolutely no problem. Just be honnest, and your biggest problem probably will not be "im AB/DL" but instead... "why did i wait this long to share this with you."... atleast... thats what would go through my head.

  4. #4


    When I moved in with my boyfriend I gave up wearing nappies completely. I tried to use them all up before I moved in with him, and the minority I had left I hid from him in a big box I had of hats and scarves etc. I don't think I wore once for the year we lived together (we've since broken up). It wasn't actually that difficult to give up wearing as I didn't find myself bored that often or in need of something to entertain me, help me relax or comfort me as I had him to do that.

    I did still use dummies whilst we lived together - I collect dummies and he'd seen my collection and knew that I liked to sleep with them. He didn't like it much though so I tried to cut down on sleeping with a dummy and he'd usually remove them whilst I was sleeping and hide them from me and stuff. Which was annoying! But I was able to get away with using dummies, and even bottles and footed sleepers sometimes, without him thinking I was AB. We even had a conversation about ABs once and he didn't twig that I was one. So if you really struggle to give up everything you could always confess an embarrassing secret that you still sleep with a dummy sometimes, just so you don't have to give everything up.

  5. #5


    what these people are saying is absolutely true... I've known people in the scene who've gotten married without disclosing that part of them self and 99 times out of 100, it ends in divorce. I'm aware that you're not quite that far but living together is a big step and doing so while the person doesn't even know who you are isn't going to end well... I very highly advise you either end the relationship or talk to him about it.

  6. #6


    If you're going to hide them, you could always put them in a lockable suitcase. Not out of the norm, and if he needs in it for what ever reason, just tell him you'll get to it later (them empty it out somewhere else before he gets it).

    Diapers themselves aren't terribly heavy and won't set off any alarms if he's moving the suitcase. Also a suitcase in the closet or storage doesn't set of any alarms. That's how my girlfriend and I store our stuff when her daughter is here.

    just my 2 cents.

  7. #7


    keeping major secrets that are directly related to your personal comfort and or fetish and or sexual feelings is generally a bad idea in a long term relationship that and money are the two biggest causes of divorce rite?

  8. #8


    if you cant tell him about baby you.. then are you sure your relationship is where you should have him move in?

  9. #9


    I let my fiance know early what I was. It took him some time to get used to the idea, but I *gave* him that time. He may never warm up to the idea, but it's *you*. If he loves you, I am sure he will wrap his head around the sweet, fragile part of you. Just start slow with it. And know, that we are here for you no matter what happens.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by LGstephy View Post
    I've known people in the scene who've gotten married without disclosing that part of them self and 99 times out of 100, it ends in divorce.
    Hmm, maybe you shouldn't make up BS statistics. I told my wife after we got married and our relationship is stronger for it. There are plenty of others here who have told after getting married too. Obviously it isn't the same for everyone though.

    To the OP, I think the time to tell is when you feel confident that he will accept that side of you. If you know in your heart that something like that won't come between you then spill the beans. If not, then you should give up AB (good luck) or take things slower with your BF.

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