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Thread: Religion Wrecked my relationship

  1. #1

    Default Religion Wrecked my relationship

    First off, so people understand, I'm gay. Now that that's out of the way, on to the problem. My boy-friend of over 2 years stopped replying to me two weeks ago. He has told me he loves me, that he wants to marry me, that he wants to have a family with me. He came back last night, after two weeks of worry, concern, and talk of suicide. When he came back he told me he could not continue a relationship with me. I said that i understood, even though it was killing me inside. I asked him why, and he told me it was because he had become closer to his religion. I asked "what does that have to do with our relationship?" He responded with something along the lines of, Jesus does not accept homosexuals. I felt my heart break at this point. I asked him what was I in his religion, someone who is homosexual, yet still believes in the lord Jesus Christ. He said i was a nice, good person, who was confused, but could be changed. I punched a freaking wall after hearing that. I really love him, but I want to respect his decision. I spent the rest of the night laying in bed, unable to sleep, the feeling of loneliness and despair filling me. Any one have any thing I can say to him, to try to get him to go back to the person I fell in love with? I know it may be impossible to change his mind, but I want to make sure that this is what he really wants.

  2. #2

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    Well some religious sect fucked it up. Jesus loves and accepts everyone. Its 100% possible to be a gay christian.hell they are even gay churches try to do some research and show him its ok to be gay and religious see if you can undo some of the brain washin... remember its not really jesuses fault people mess up his words and twist them up. Just understand that you bf took a wrong path...try to fix it...show him its posible to do both.

  3. #3
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    Jesus accepts homosexuals just fine. Jesus's followers do not. There is a HUGE difference. If one looks at the actual words of Christ and not Leviticus (words of nomadic tribal warlords) or Paul (a contract-killer in the employ of the Pharisees), you will find only two kinds of people that are rejected by Jesus: the ungenerous wealthy and people who hurt little kids. He never said one word about homosexuality. Not one word. So when "Christians" claim that "God hates fags" what they are actually doing is placing the words of men above the words of the Savior.

    Personally, I'd rather take moral guidance from a pacifist (Jesus) than warlords and murderers. But I'm funny that way.

    That is one of the many reasons why I left Christianity in favor of Wicca.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by benjaminwolf View Post
    First off, so people understand, I'm gay. Now that that's out of the way, on to the problem. My boy-friend of over 2 years stopped replying to me two weeks ago. He has told me he loves me, that he wants to marry me, that he wants to have a family with me. He came back last night, after two weeks of worry, concern, and talk of suicide. When he came back he told me he could not continue a relationship with me. I said that i understood, even though it was killing me inside. I asked him why, and he told me it was because he had become closer to his religion. I asked "what does that have to do with our relationship?" He responded with something along the lines of, Jesus does not accept homosexuals. I felt my heart break at this point. I asked him what was I in his religion, someone who is homosexual, yet still believes in the lord Jesus Christ. He said i was a nice, good person, who was confused, but could be changed. I punched a freaking wall after hearing that. I really love him, but I want to respect his decision. I spent the rest of the night laying in bed, unable to sleep, the feeling of loneliness and despair filling me. Any one have any thing I can say to him, to try to get him to go back to the person I fell in love with? I know it may be impossible to change his mind, but I want to make sure that this is what he really wants.
    that my feel awful, i feel really sorry for you i really dont know what to tell you to do but if it is over for good, you seem like a great person and will be able to meet someone else it may hurt now and the pain my never go away but it may dull over time, now if he can be changed i dont know what to tell you because in 2 weeks he has stopped his gay relationship wich must meant that he isnt accepting himself and trying to change himself

  5. #5

    Default

    He said he made this decision two months ago. He decided to stop being gay, and he is trying to stop being a td/dl now.

  6. #6
    Butterfly Mage

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by benjaminwolf View Post
    He said he made this decision two months ago. He decided to stop being gay, and he is trying to stop being a td/dl now.
    I have a friend who used to be a counselor for Exodus. The success rate for gay-to-straight conversions is about 4%. My friend eventually left the organization since not only could he not become straight, he found it morally offensive to try to continue to pretend to be straight while telling others that conversion was likely to succeed.

    Being left in the dust for religious reasons does suck. My first partner when I was first out of the closet decided to leave me because of Catholicism. I can't imagine someone who enjoyed gay sex as much as he did and as often as he did could somehow enjoy pretending to be straight. I doubt he is a very happy person now. After all, he lost me and I think I'm a pretty nice person.

    It gets better. I was very upset for a long, long time. Then I met the man that I would later marry. Life is good.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by benjaminwolf View Post
    He said he made this decision two months ago. He decided to stop being gay, and he is trying to stop being a td/dl now.
    oh, im sorry to hear that, this is why i dont follow any religion, however it is a big thing to just change sexuality, and get rid of a fetish/lifestyle

  8. #8

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    How long does it take before they are back to their senses? I want to know because he says we can still be friends, but I couldn't answer him then, I was to full of emotion to think.

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by benjaminwolf View Post
    How long does it take before they are back to their senses? I want to know because he says we can still be friends, but I couldn't answer him then, I was to full of emotion to think.
    You need to cut ties with this person completely. There is never "just friends" after a breakup. It just never happens. What you will get from "religious" people like this is that he will want you for sex when his innate homosexual identity needs to be satisfied but he will have relationships with women and possibly even marry a woman and have a family. You don't need to invite this kind of trouble.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    You need to cut ties with this person completely. There is never "just friends" after a breakup. It just never happens. What you will get from "religious" people like this is that he will want you for sex when his innate homosexual identity needs to be satisfied but he will have relationships with women and possibly even marry a woman and have a family. You don't need to invite this kind of trouble.
    There is friends after a relationships, BF Mage, I had a cruddy break up with a girlfriend but we're still great friends the only way that you wouldn't be friends is if you pushed him away! try to make him understand that you both had true feelings for each other and you care for each other! He hasn't completely abandoned you either if he really was full on Religious-sacked, what I like to call it, he would of not even let you be friends with him.

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