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Thread: Deaths in the family

  1. #1

    Default Deaths in the family

    Yesterday my the dog(Shadow) I have had since I was fourteen years old died of old age. He was nearly 20. Ten minutes prior to my dog's death, one of our two cats(Zod) died. He just turned a year old last month.

    Shadow has been going downhill for months, and Zod was extremely sick in June, but we had him treated, and he got better. He was acting like he didn't feel well Tuesday night, but it didn't seem serious until we woke up yesterday morning. My fiance and I held him until he passed.

    I am really bummed out about it. With Zod I feel as though I didn't do enough to prevent it, despite the fact that in June the vet told us that he may have some sort of immune system issues that he was born with. The vet described it as his own immune system suddenly attacking his own body.

    With Shadow....... I feel like the person who has been in my circle the longest, my longest friend is gone. I have caught myself thinking, "I need to make sure he has water; Shadow needs to go outside; I'm going to give Shadow this pizza crust" and other thoughts like that.

    Last night I had nightmares that I did not bury them deep enough and the rain uncovered their graves, or that they weren't really dead, I even had a dream that they came back, and not in a pleasant alive kind of way, but an awful undead kind of way.

    I am going to boil it all down to the simplest to word statement I can; THIS SUCKS.

  2. #2
    crazykittensmile

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    Oh, I am really sorry to hear that *hugs* Losing two well-loved pets one after the other is really hard luck and I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you - I felt awful when my childhood cat died and I didn't have to deal with losing another pet at the same time. Don't feel guilty about Zod - it is unusual for a cat to die young unless there is a reason for it, and I would suspect that he had something serious wrong with him, as your vet suggested. I doubt it was preventable, and at least he is in peace now and won't have to deal with getting ill anymore.

    It sounds like Shadow was a great friend to you, and from what you've said like you were a good one to him as well. 20 is old for a dog, so you must have looked after him well. Feel proud that you were able to offer him a long and happy life in which he was well cared for.

    I'm sure it will be really difficult to get used to them not being around, but it will get easier and in time you will be able to focus on all of the good memories you have of them, and know that you were a huge part in their lives and in ensuring they were happy, well-cared for animals. I don't think there is anything more I can really say, I know how hard losing a cherished pet is and my thoughts really are with you.

    *hugs*
    xxxxxxxxxxx

  3. #3

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    Hush, I am really saddened to hear this.

    I remember my childhood dog dying 3 years ago; it devastated me. He was my best friend, and I mean that literally. I really didn't have friends, but my dog was always there for me. His dying really sent me on a downward spiral for a while. I still sometimes think I see him out of the corner of my eye, or that he'll be at the front door whimpering for me when I enter the house.

    It's just really hard. I also remember our cat dying a few years before that, and how Sammy (the dog) watched us bury the cat in a shoebox, and screamed and tried to get to the cat. He couldn't believe we were burying her. I think the next 4 years were very lonely for him, as the two had really bonded, despite the usual cat/dog fight, lol. I still think I see my cat sometimes, or that she'll be waiting for me on my bed at night, and it's been almost 8 years since she died now.

    I am now pet-less, but would love to have a dog again at some point. A couple years ago, though, I wouldn't have wanted one, not that soon after loosing Sammy.

    My point with this all is, I understand what you're going through, and I am very sad to hear of your loss.
    Take good care, and *****HUGS******

  4. #4

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    Sorry to hear about your loss. I know there is nothing I can say that will bring them back, but I wish you the best, and can definitely relate to what your feeling.

    I lost my mom, brother and childhood pet of 18 years all within a few years of each other. I'm also preparing myself for my current buddy (Cat) that I've had for 11 years to pass. He started having problems after eating the tainted cat food that was recalled a while back. I spent about $1200 when he first got sick, and after a couple weeks at the vet he was given a clean bill of health. This year he started getting sick again. This time I spent $1700 and he spent another couple of weeks a the vet. He was diagnosed with renal failure caused by eating the bad food. They told me the only way he would survive (they couldn't tell me how long) is to get IV fluids ever day for the rest of his life. I did this for a few months, but started to notice a change in his personality, where he would shy away from me when I went to pet him. He was also hiding from me which he has never done before. I put two and two together, and realized the trips to the vet, pain, and stress of getting the IV fluids were the cause. I figured it would be better for both of us to discontinue the fluids. He's still alive and back to his old lovable self six months after stopping the fluids, and doing pretty good. I can see signs of the renal failure, and it makes me sad. I feel guilty for not taking him for fluids, and for buying the crappy cat food that caused this. I know it's only a matter of time until he gets bad again. Once this happens, I'll have to put him to sleep. I hope it's easier knowing it's going to happen, but I doubt it.

  5. #5

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    I am sorry for your loss, hush. I have no words that will ease your pain or sorrow, I wish I did. I do know what you mean about having them in your waking thoughts and in your dreams, I have had these same experiences with both pets and people that I have lost. In time, the pain has lessened for me, and the dreams have subsided, but I always have a vague feeling of emptiness when I remember those who I loved and lost. I hope that in time, your pain goes away and that you are left with only the happy memories of Shadow and Zod. You have my best wishes that much happier times come your way very soon. Take care.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by fifigal View Post
    I am sorry for your loss, hush. I have no words that will ease your pain or sorrow, I wish I did. I do know what you mean about having them in your waking thoughts and in your dreams, I have had these same experiences with both pets and people that I have lost. In time, the pain has lessened for me, and the dreams have subsided, but I always have a vague feeling of emptiness when I remember those who I loved and lost. I hope that in time, your pain goes away and that you are left with only the happy memories of Shadow and Zod. You have my best wishes that much happier times come your way very soon. Take care.

    i cannot say it better then this - you have said what i would say - i know the feeling - its hurts - but as long as your and him were happy - i think that maybe in time you should adopt - give another dog a long and happy life - we did this - saved him from dieing from people who abused him :3

  7. #7

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    Sorry Hush

    I am also someone who considers my pets to be family members and friends and I can't stand the thought of losing them even though I know it will happen eventually. I have had lots of pets come in go in my life, and each one has their own special place in my heart and left their own impact on my life in their own way, so I know exactly how you feel.

    I just try to enjoy them while they're here, and give them the best life I possibly can and try not to ignore them even when I am busy and they're being annoying.

    My advice is, once you're ready, go to the spca or animal shelter and adopt another dog you like, they all need homes, and you will learn to love them just as much.

  8. #8

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    I want to confess and apologize that I only skimmed your replies. Thank you all very much for you thoughts, and comforting words.
    One of you mentioned something about your dog missing a pet who passed. Our other cat (Sinestro) has been noticeably sad. Not that he is the friendliest cat ever before (His name IS Sinestro), but he has nested in one spot, and when we try to pick him up he meows what sounds EERILY like "NO" and goes back to his spot.
    Someone else mentioned getting another pet after time; I can't do it. Once Sinestro dies, I am done with pets. I have never had one live to old age, and Shadow's death took all the stamina I have for this situation out of me. One of the peeps in my inner circle suggested he was hanging in there for me, and I believe her. I think Shadow worried about me without him. I know that may sound insane, but I think that was why he hung on so long. I can't go through it again.
    Again, thanks for all your comforting word, again I am sorry I could not read them closely, and I hope you understand.

  9. #9

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    Lost something like 15 pets(hamsters, fish, cats, dogs)
    I've also lost family.(Dad, grand parents. Cousin, Cousins friends)

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by hush View Post
    I want to confess and apologize that I only skimmed your replies. Thank you all very much for you thoughts, and comforting words.
    One of you mentioned something about your dog missing a pet who passed. Our other cat (Sinestro) has been noticeably sad. Not that he is the friendliest cat ever before (His name IS Sinestro), but he has nested in one spot, and when we try to pick him up he meows what sounds EERILY like "NO" and goes back to his spot.
    Someone else mentioned getting another pet after time; I can't do it. Once Sinestro dies, I am done with pets. I have never had one live to old age, and Shadow's death took all the stamina I have for this situation out of me. One of the peeps in my inner circle suggested he was hanging in there for me, and I believe her. I think Shadow worried about me without him. I know that may sound insane, but I think that was why he hung on so long. I can't go through it again.
    Again, thanks for all your comforting word, again I am sorry I could not read them closely, and I hope you understand.
    I know what you're saying. Let me first say how sorry I am. Pets are like children. They have an innocence about them. They need us to take care of them and in return, they love us unconditionally. I have buried to family dogs, and our present dog is nine. She will probably be our last for the very reason you mentioned. I just can't go through this again. When we lost our last one because of cancer, I too would look for her to give her a treat from the table, fill the water dish. I still expect to see them around the house, and I think that in some way, they aren't far away. My time will come and I think they will be waiting for me. I've often said to my wife that our lives could be marked by the dogs which we have owned.

    Again, my heart goes out to you.

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