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Thread: PLEASE HELP! Dealing with a childish, close minded mother...

  1. #1

    Default PLEASE HELP! Dealing with a childish, close minded mother...

    I am dealing with an issue in my life that hasn't surfaced until now. I have grown up dealing with my mom and her childish ways of thinking. I am home schooled by my mom, so I am around her very often, I am a very calm, even tempered, and intelligent guy.

    I am starting to get very angry about the ways she poorly handles things which now i am starting to have anger issues to the point where she questions my overall integrity. Also with the issue of my infantilism, my mom is not excepting at all, She condemns me for even doing such things but I know that she is close minded, and repulses things that are different. (Btw were talking about someone who won't try new foods or anything new and she 42).

    I wanted to show her that she doesn't rule my sexual life. So in rebellion i took the car without permission (very unlike me) to go get diapers. when i was caught with them, she was angry about me doing this but i didn't care because i know where i stand spiritually. I am not going to Hell for a diaper fetish. I am getting off topic.

    My mom has been married to my dad for 20 or so years. My dad (not saying that he is a bad man, he has a exponential amounts of good qualities, has downsized and bullied her into thinking that she is lower than dirt, for so many years that when he leaves the house because his job atm is to travel across country for his work, then she feels that when he is gone she demands respect and is very strict because of it.

    I matured enough to the point where I think I am more of an adult than she is mental wise not age. I can understand what is going on, but won't put up with her acts of trying to feel that she has worth by her acting like a huge bitch to me. That shit ain't very (which she has worth but she doesn't think so) She can make up any rule she wants whether it be good or really stupid. When I try to talk to her about it, she is resistant. And usually we fight !

    Please give me some tips on how to keep cool. I am only 17 and not have what is need to move out on my own yet.

  2. #2

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    Yikes, sounds like your are between a rock and a brick wall. I suggest you speak with a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) they may be able to help with the deeper issues involved here. Since your mom is refusing to intelligently communicate with you I am afraid I cannot offer any other advice. Sorry.

  3. #3
    Butterfly Mage

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    From a phychological standpoint, your mom is probably demeaning you because her husband is demeaning her. It's classic transference. Of course, that doesn't change the situation, unfortunately.

  4. #4
    Asher

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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    From a phychological standpoint, your mom is probably demeaning you because her husband is demeaning her. It's classic transference. Of course, that doesn't change the situation, unfortunately.
    B.M. has a very good point; that is probably the reason for that. Seeing a psychologist would probably be very beneficial to your family, but what you really need to do is talk with her. Not just a quick "Hello, we don't agree." A "Hey, we need to discuss this and work it out." Come to a compromise, discuss some options. See what you can do to make it work.

    I was in a "sort of" similar situation to; my mother and I did not get along at all, so I moved out. And even though I know you said you do not have the resources to move out just yet, you might want to consider it if seeing a psychologist and talking to her do not work. You could always get a job (might be a good way to get away from your family as well) and save up. Heck, you could always end up moving in with a friend as well. There's a lot you can do and lots of options.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zebeny View Post
    I wanted to show her that she doesn't rule my sexual life. So in rebellion i took the car without permission (very unlike me) to go get diapers. when i was caught with them, she was angry about me doing this but i didn't care because i know where i stand spiritually. I am not going to Hell for a diaper fetish. I am getting off topic.


    Not to sound totally insensitive, but what immediately came to mind was this:

    http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/8f1c1147-cb60-4380-abb4-81b8a8ee84a1.jpg

    Look, you have what, a year before college? The truth is that while your under your parents' roof, their rules are the law of the land up until the point that they fail to meet the legal obligations of parenthood.

    Yes, your family sounds like it has problems, but taking matters into your own hands with rebellious acts is not a reasonable solution. Technically, that stunt was called grand theft auto. Two wrongs don't make a right.

    Really, until the day you not only move out, but that the financial ties are severed, your parents have control over you. The best advice we can give you is to do what you can to make that day come as soon as possible.

  6. #6

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    Thanks for the advice. We don't have many problems. I actually have a really good relationship with my family. But because of my certain interest. They have freaked out and in so now their in the the OMFG we have to help you state of mind. I don't want help and openly said it. They denied it. I went to my sister for support hoping that she had a more open mind and shes in college and in psychological study and she told me that this would lead to raping babies. I was like "really?" that's what i got for sharing something i barely had the balls to talk to her about and she throws pedophilia at me. Now im in this sort of state of mind. That i want to show my demons to my family. They see me as this guy who is very respectable and polite and stuff... i am but i could show them what i really am capable of doing. I think of do a satanist scare to them HA

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zebeny View Post
    Thanks for the advice. We don't have many problems. I actually have a really good relationship with my family. But because of my certain interest. They have freaked out and in so now their in the the OMFG we have to help you state of mind. I don't want help and openly said it. They denied it. I went to my sister for support hoping that she had a more open mind and shes in college and in psychological study and she told me that this would lead to raping babies. I was like "really?" that's what i got for sharing something i barely had the balls to talk to her about and she throws pedophilia at me. Now im in this sort of state of mind. That i want to show my demons to my family. They see me as this guy who is very respectable and polite and stuff... i am but i could show them what i really am capable of doing. I think of do a satanist scare to them HA
    This would only make your situation worse. I strongly discourage you from doing anything like that, if only because it will only further show your parents that you are being immature, and reinforce their view. The better thing to do would to be mature about the whole thing, and respect their wishes, at least in public. I am not saying to give up diapers, but respect the fact that while you live in their house, they make the rules.

  8. #8

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    I'm not really going to become satanic, although (i do have thought sometimes on wanting to see whats on the other side). its just my mom and her overly pious views that are being shoved down my throat. I'm sick of it. wouldn't you feel the same way. Really i just want to come to an agreement with her so we can press on to something more important than the sexual thing i do behind closed doors. I work within boundaries. She hasn't even given me boundaries. At first shes like ok we will try it and she actually aided me in getting diapers. Then i unfolded them and put them in my bed so i didn't have to hassle with them when the time came. and she found them instead of her just shrugging it off she then got rid of them. I asked her why. she said and i quote. "something in me told me this was evil." i was like ... really? Ive been trying to come up with a way that didn't come across as defiant. So i wrote a note and sent it to her. She then told me she didn't want to talk to me about it. (im a very tenacious person) so i said no explain to me. I have to know. she threatened me and i was defeated. I am now bottled up and wroth! She refused to talk so i did what anyone who had a desire this strong. when i got my license i took a drive down to Walgreens. the story tells the rest...

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    From a phychological standpoint, your mom is probably demeaning you because her husband is demeaning her. It's classic transference. Of course, that doesn't change the situation, unfortunately.
    Sad but true. It's probably the reason. Just try counting to 10 in your head when your about to get into something. You can probably google quick ways likes "How to keep your cool easier" and that stuff. I really wish you the best zebeny

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