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Thread: I'm an adult by legal definition, but I feel like a child

  1. #1

    Default I'm an adult by legal definition, but I feel like a child

    I'm an adult/man by all means but when I think or refer to myself, I always think of myself as a boy. I'm in my early twenties and everyone else my age is talking about clubbing and getting dates and stuff like that. I'm more interested in hanging out with friends, playing video games and having fun. Sure I do some things that are considered adult like drink alcohol and stuff but I think deep down I carry myself around like a child in some regard.

    Does anyone else feel this way? I'm scared of being a man-child or I feel like i'm not developing at the same rate as everyone else, despite being told that I've always been very mature for my age when growing up. I've always been advanced but now I don't know what to think since i'm all caught up in age and maturity-wise but mentally, still a boy at heart. Heck, I haven't even been in a relationship yet! And i'm beginning to feel like this childishness is the reasoning behind it :/ I'm beginning to feel really down about this. I just don't seem to have the same interests as everyone else my age group is

  2. #2

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    Personaly, I think you may just like those things. I figure you are over 21 and most people finish maturing around then. Some don't, but I would not let it bother you. And besides, I know a lot of people over 21 that still hang out with friends and play video games. So maby you just don't wanna go clubing and are kind of shy when it comes to girls. It's just you being you, and maby you will change. Time will tell that.

    Yea and I may not seem like some one who would understand so feel free to ignore my advice.

  3. #3

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    Maturity isn't something that's measured by one's activities or the company one keeps.
    The fact that you notice that you're "not as mature" as your peers is actually a sign that you're not completely immature, for what it counts.

  4. #4
    Truthfullies

    Default

    but doesn't being mature enough to admit you're immature go a long way in proving your really more mature than those who might say you're not because you wear diapers or act like a baby?

  5. #5

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    Im kind of like you. Im 20(in a month) and Im loke you...I have never gone clubbing,I have never gone clubbing,Idrinkin (lega age is 18 here) But i am engaged...Im just a huge kid. I still play legos transformers video games swords etc. Its who I am. Dont worry if your happy then stay that way. If not try to "mature" do things they do see how you like it.

  6. #6

    Default

    You aren't alone in being this way, not at all. There are several different models for how human's develop, and I personally don't believe human beings always progress in a global step-by-step fashion (similar to Piaget's model). I see each person as having several different areas in which they develop in as they age. Some age everywhere simultaneously, others mature in some areas quicker and save other areas for later. Still others, especially those who are 'developmentally disabled' such as myself, may never seem to mature in some areas, while maturing way beyond our years in other places.

    I take it that you developed very quickly in some areas, at a young age. To counter that, other areas didn't develop as much. Whatever it is, I can see this having its upsides, and not just downsides. I think it's cool to be very advanced in some areas, and still a small kid in other areas. Sure, there are deficits, but those aren't always controllable. I feel as though it makes me more unique, makes me stand out. Perhaps you're the same way in that regard . Something to consider.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by JonBB View Post
    I'm an adult/man by all means but when I think or refer to myself, I always think of myself as a boy. I'm in my early twenties and everyone else my age is talking about clubbing and getting dates and stuff like that. I'm more interested in hanging out with friends, playing video games and having fun. Sure I do some things that are considered adult like drink alcohol and stuff but I think deep down I carry myself around like a child in some regard.

    Does anyone else feel this way? I'm scared of being a man-child or I feel like i'm not developing at the same rate as everyone else, despite being told that I've always been very mature for my age when growing up. I've always been advanced but now I don't know what to think since i'm all caught up in age and maturity-wise but mentally, still a boy at heart. Heck, I haven't even been in a relationship yet! And i'm beginning to feel like this childishness is the reasoning behind it :/ I'm beginning to feel really down about this. I just don't seem to have the same interests as everyone else my age group is
    That's actually exactly how I feel a lot of time. My advice to you is to not worry about what everyone wants you to be, and just be who you are. It's working pretty well for me so far.

  8. #8

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    I think being delayed in some areas can be a plus. This is typical for those of us who are artistic and creative. You need to have that sense of wonder that only a child has. I don't think I could still be in awe of music, or want to sit down and write every day if I was that stodgy, adult male. I've always had at least three personalities, when I was a kid, the cool, tough kid; the at home in front of my parents kid, and the kid who really lived inside my head. As an adult, this still exists. I am one person at work, another out in public, and at home, still the kid. It all works quite well, so I wouldn't be worried as long as you have control over yourself, and your world.

  9. #9

    Default

    Is that so bad? Consider that many adults lose important parts of themselves as they "mature". Clubbing and getting tons of dates aren't necessary for maturing. Just because others you know do it, does not at all mean you are less of an "adult". Everyone is different. Some never lose parts of themselves they had as children and that is not a bad thing. Being just like everyone else is, to me, worse than being different.

    You mature in some ways as you grow up, this is inevitable if you want to survive on your own. However, other parts people consider "maturing" this day and age have nothing to do with becoming a successful adult. You like what you like and you are who you are. Never try to change yourself simply because you think you are different or less "mature" than others. You will not be happy with the result.

    Throwing away every part of yourself that doesn't mesh with other's mature ideal is silly and wrong. Keeping a certain air of "childishness" about you as you grow up can make you a more interesting person and allow you to see and experience things those that threw it all away cannot. There is nothing wrong with this unless you force it to extremes such that you are always dependent and literally like a child. This is not what I mean, nor does it seem this is what you mean.

    So do not be down. There is nothing wrong with you, you are simply not the same as your friends in certain respects and that is part of who you are and will mold the adult you will become/are becoming. Don't force yourself into a mold and instead let yourself grow in your own patch of soil and blossom into something beautiful. If you simply follow the path others have made for you, you are not maturing, you are following. Go your own way and you will find your own unique happiness.

  10. #10

    Default

    holy crap dude, I'm 20 and I feel the exact same way as u do. I just turned 20 in June, it kinda made me sad b/c I've always acted a few years younger than my age, pretty much cause I love to entertain people by doing dumb things, so now that I'm no longer a teen, well it just doesn't feel right, especially since I absolutely do not feel like I'm this old yet. When I'm in college, everyone wants to party (I've been to a few but it's not really my thing), but I'm kinda shy around people I dont know, so that doesn't help too much. While people my age are out partying, having sex, partying some more (that's all that seems to happen in college), and looking for jobs, I'm into this diaper thing.

    When I was in high school, I never knew that there was such a thing as this ABDL community, so I just thought I had some sick mental problem. With diapers on my mind, it kinda made me terrified to be around girls. I mean in college I dont get to wear at all since I'm in a dorm with a roomie, but still, the diaper thing in the back of my mind kinda keeps me feeling like a child, so I dont feel like I fit in at all. I haven't had a girl talk to me yet in college, I never was even close to ever having a relationship. One time in high school, a hammered girl wanted to make out with me at a party...I was like if I dont get my 1st kiss now, I probably never will...and that was still the only one I've ever had or was close to having...

    People tell me all the time "oh you're so handsome, how come you don't have a girlfriend" and I think to myself that if I were to act my age, get out of this diaper phase that I've been in for half of my life, and grow up, then yes I'd have one, or at least think that I could have one. So yea dude, yur not alone, not one bit.

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