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Thread: Uncertain DL

  1. #1

    Question Uncertain DL

    Hi,

    I am new here and looking for answers to a variety of questions. I figured searching the site would be the best way to learn, but maybe posting and getting perspectives on particulars would be more expedient. (Plus, there are a lot of things I am not looking for...)

    I think I like diapers, but haven't worn any since I was potty-trained. I have had the desire to wear one since right after my training (and my younger brother's arrival/potty-training) and have finally gotten the courage to start talking with family and friends about this. At 21, there seem to be a lot of issues surrounding my desire(s?). What specifically am I attracted to? Is there any hope of escaping my desire? Is this sexual? What will my family/friends think? Is this something I should try or would it be better to continue to be ignorant, trying to fight how I feel?

    So... I confided in a few close friends that I am planning on trying some diapers after I talk to my parents. I get the feeling they won't be too happy about it, but they might see some value in a little experimentation (a lot cheaper than a shrink) or in some kind of conditioning/punishment ("You want to do what? Okay, but you'll regret it! You're using them 24/7 until you are ready to try to be an adult again."). I think I would be really unhappy if I had to use the diapers (for everything), but part of my interest is in not needing to worry about nighttime accidents (which I would like to have, even if that sounds a little weird). I had nighttime accidents until puberty (15 or so, late bloomer) and am excited by the anticipation/possibility of not having control. So far, my friends have told me that this isn't really a "problem" and that I should probably explore a bit to see what it is I really want. They don't mind talking about it, but we are friends... so it's probably just them being super nice and trying not to be judgmental.

    I don't really want to be babied (although there are some aspects that could be nice with my girlfriend [completely different set of questions there]) and I'm not interested in punishment/bondage-type things... I think I just want to have a very personal secret. So, no one knows that I wear diapers/wet the bed unless they are close enough to me and/or see me around bedtime.

    What's anyone think?! I can't be weirded-out by much, but if you don't mind, keeping things rather "vanilla" would be nice.

    Particular advice needed:
    -How to talk to parents (or cope if they respond badly...)
    -How to explore safely (I feel like there's a lot of things I could do that would be mistakes...)
    -How to keep secret/maintain dignity where unknowing or uninterested parties are concerned

    Thanks!

    -Exploration

  2. #2

    Default

    Hey Exploration, wow you said a mouth full there! Well I will try to answer your three points you made.

    1). Don't talk to parents about this, you are 21 and you have the right to live the way you want to live and your parents do not need to know about this. Like you said they may react badly to it, so why start a fire if you don't need too? You already have friends you confide in and you said they seem cool about it, consider yourself lucky to have their friendship and acceptance about this "odd" desire that you and all of us have.

    2). Basically don't steal diapers and don't do dangerous stuff to get them and you are being safe. Just go to the store and buy them or go online and buy them and you are safe, just don't give out your credit card info to a talking banner ad if it asks you too, lol.

    3). Find a good spot to hide your diapers, dispose of them properly and maintain healthy hygiene and you will be fine.

    Don't worry about loosing control that most likely will no happen, MAYBE it will after wearing for 15 years 24/7 and doing everything in them...MAYBE, but don't worry yourself with that thought. You said it can help protect you from nighttime accidents, that is a good thing!

    Accept yourself for who you are, you are not doing anything wrong or illegal here, just enjoy diapers and live your life as you normally do.

  3. #3

    Default

    If you are planning to talk to your parents, explain to them what it is you like about diapers, be as honest as possible, just make sure you don't go into too much detail. If you are too nervous to talk to them face-to-face, you could always leave them a note, write a letter, email, text, call over the phone something, it will feel MUCH better to tell them. If they act like this is not normal, try explaining that it will not just go away, try using the you should love me no matter what trick haha, I have done that before, it seems to work with my parents. Also note that it could be much much worse, diapers are harmless, you are doing nothing ILLEGAL. You are being different and you are being yourself, they should respect that and if they don't, well then that's just something they are going to have to live with. Hope for the best! Good Luck! See you!

  4. #4

    Lightbulb Loosing Control

    About loosing control at night I think you have to think of the positive and negative consequences of your actions. As told in many a thread here on ADISC losing control of your bladder can have unintended consequences and many members hwo have done this say that diapers became less 'fun' after they were required to wear them either 24/7 or nightly. In addition to this, you have to think of the long term health consequences to your body - if you lose control you may never be able to regain it, which may pose a serious detriment to your life later on (as you have your whole life in front of you) just to fulfill a fantasy of yours. Unless you can accept loosing control as part of your lifestyle, my advice would be just ot treat it like a fantasy and not actually try and fulfill it.

  5. #5

    Default

    Oops... posted this as a reply... is there a special way to reply to a particular response, or do all responses go down in a straight line based on timing?
    Original below. Intended for *diaperedteenager
    ----------------

    I already talked to my Dad about some things. I was looking at diaper-related porn/reading stories and masturbating but decided I didn't really want to be doing any of those things. (I don't know if I think they are wrong... I just didn't like how I felt about what I was doing.) He wasn't too worried, but wanted to know if I needed to see someone about it. I think he might be able to handle a bit more info (he was really open/easy-going about it; we have an awesome relationship) but I suspect it would be hard to convince him that this is something I really want/maybe need to do. I think that I may have to go and see someone and have them talk to my parents before they will consider it harmless and possibly acceptable; especially if we understand that right now I just want to try some things and see what happens. Thanks for the advice though! I plan on buying online, whether I get a yes or a no from the parents... a little left-over teen rebellion, you might say . What do you mean about proper disposal; I can't just throw them away? I mean, I work in a lab, so I understand some of the possible health/sanitation issues, but I figure that a plastic bag that goes away on a truck should be ok... ?

    Yeah, I'm always a little long winded. Heh. Thanks again!

    Oops
    Last edited by Exploration; 13-Jun-2010 at 23:09. Reason: Didn't post how I wanted to...

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Exploration View Post
    Oops... posted this as a reply... is there a special way to reply to a particular response, or do all responses go down in a straight line based on timing?
    Original below. Intended for *diaperedteenager
    ----------------

    I already talked to my Dad about some things. I was looking at diaper-related porn/reading stories and masturbating but decided I didn't really want to be doing any of those things. (I don't know if I think they are wrong... I just didn't like how I felt about what I was doing.) He wasn't too worried, but wanted to know if I needed to see someone about it. I think he might be able to handle a bit more info (he was really open/easy-going about it; we have an awesome relationship) but I suspect it would be hard to convince him that this is something I really want/maybe need to do. I think that I may have to go and see someone and have them talk to my parents before they will consider it harmless and possibly acceptable; especially if we understand that right now I just want to try some things and see what happens. Thanks for the advice though! I plan on buying online, whether I get a yes or a no from the parents... a little left-over teen rebellion, you might say . What do you mean about proper disposal; I can't just throw them away? I mean, I work in a lab, so I understand some of the possible health/sanitation issues, but I figure that a plastic bag that goes away on a truck should be ok... ?

    Yeah, I'm always a little long winded. Heh. Thanks again!

    Oops
    If you want to reply to a specific person click the "Reply With Quote" button at the bottom of whomever's post you would like to comment on.

    As it's already been stated, I highly recommend not telling your parents unless you are super close to them and can share essentially anything. My parents unfortunately found out about this lifestyle and flipped. Lectures, counseling, and forcing me to get rid of everything.

    You really are lucky to have such accepting friends. I'm not sure my friends would be so condoning.

    All in all, I think it's safe to say it's pretty obvious what is going to be safe or unsafe exploration. Stealing from stores, wearing blatantly in front of others, and anything that would cause bodily harm to you is definitely not going to be considered "safe." I think diaperedteenager did a fairly decent job of explaining things.

    In my experiences, the urge never truly goes away. It might temporarily leave, but it always comes back. I've gone through a few phases where I felt it was tragically wrong and attempted to rid myself of this; however, it failed miserably. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the truth is, we were born with something in our heads that says diapers are just right.

    Pretty much just do what you want (to a certain, sane extent). Get yourself a pack or two of diapers. If you want to go all out, order some online. There are plenty of threads around about sizing, types, and other details of what you can order. Otherwise, just start with something simple like Depends, or if you can fit them, Goodnites; both of which you can find in your local pharmacy.

    If it doesn't feel right to you, so be it. What do you have to lose, a few dollars? Maybe a little bit of time? I think if you are dead set on telling your parents, you should at least try wearing a diaper for a day or two, possibly more to decide if this is something you really want to pursue. Diaperedteenager stated it pretty good, if you don't need to start a fire, why do so?

    When you decide this is something you really want to continue doing, then tell your parents. Otherwise, (and I think many people can vouch for this) do not tell them yet.

    -Edit-

    I guess I should have actually read the rest of your post before posting.

    Speaking from experience with two separate shrinks, if you are considering going to them, they didn't help me a bit. As I previously mentioned, I feel this is something embedded in our minds that will not change.

    I always go back to the homosexual argument. No matter how much counseling a homosexual may go through, his feelings for the same sex will not change.

    As for the proper disposal of such items, just don't be too obvious about it. Most people don't like a smelly diaper, so if anything, a plastic grocery bag will do just fine. I find that it helps with both the smell and the sight of the diaper.

    --End long-winded speech--

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by huggies_cutie View Post
    About loosing control at night I think you have to think of the positive and negative consequences of your actions. As told in many a thread here on ADISC losing control of your bladder can have unintended consequences and many members hwo have done this say that diapers became less 'fun' after they were required to wear them either 24/7 or nightly. In addition to this, you have to think of the long term health consequences to your body - if you lose control you may never be able to regain it, which may pose a serious detriment to your life later on (as you have your whole life in front of you) just to fulfill a fantasy of yours. Unless you can accept loosing control as part of your lifestyle, my advice would be just ot treat it like a fantasy and not actually try and fulfill it.
    First off, thanks for your input! Second, I don't know if I want to lose control so much as I will be giving up control at some point while wearing... can't go and use the bathroom. =P It would be exciting to have some nighttime accidents that I didn't plan on, but I think that might seriously freak me out. Then again, that's why they're called accidents... you don't intend them. I really am fairly new to this stuff, despite having looked around for a long time. I wish I had looked for a site like this instead of just looking at porn and then beating myself up for it. I know now that it was about wanting to try this/having this fantasy, but it will still take a long time to get the other stuff out of my head. Oh well. Live and learn I suppose. Third and finally, I am absolutely giddy about trying diapers, but I am also harboring some excitement about maybe discovering that this isn't really what I want.

    Thanks again!

    ---------- Post added at 12:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:05 AM ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by NeverFadeAway View Post
    If you are planning to talk to your parents, explain to them what it is you like about diapers, be as honest as possible, just make sure you don't go into too much detail. If you are too nervous to talk to them face-to-face, you could always leave them a note, write a letter, email, text, call over the phone something, it will feel MUCH better to tell them. If they act like this is not normal, try explaining that it will not just go away, try using the you should love me no matter what trick haha, I have done that before, it seems to work with my parents. Also note that it could be much much worse, diapers are harmless, you are doing nothing ILLEGAL. You are being different and you are being yourself, they should respect that and if they don't, well then that's just something they are going to have to live with. Hope for the best! Good Luck! See you!
    Is it really a bad thing if I go in-depth? I mean, I should respect that my parents (almost definitely) won't be happy about this, but if I want them to understand -- provided they don't need to understand everything, just the why and "will you let me?" -- don't I need to give them as much as I know? As far as the "you should love me no matter what trick"... they are always saying that. I suppose it could be a last-resort. =P

    Thanks for the advice.

    ---------- Post added at 12:17 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:09 AM ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by DiaperSoCal View Post

    You really are lucky to have such accepting friends.
    Hope I clipped that quote the right way... They've had a long time to think about it. And dealt with some similar issues... It's funny, they're a little younger than I am, but I am majorly less mature. But, yeah...they're awesome! And so are the folks on here, it's turning out. Even if I don't get involved with this (after trying it), I will have gained some valuable experience for understanding people and not judging too harshly the things that people do. One of my friends was quick to point out: congrats, you're a human being... =P

    Maybe this will be helpful when I have kids of my own... Who knows! Anyways, thanks!
    Last edited by Exploration; 15-Jun-2010 at 21:26.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Exploration View Post
    Hope I clipped that quote the right way... They've had a long time to think about it. And dealt with some similar issues... It's funny, they're a little younger than I am, but I am majorly less mature. But, yeah...they're awesome! And so are the folks on here, it's turning out. Even if I don't get involved with this (after trying it), I will have gained some valuable experience for understanding people and not judging too harshly the things that people do. One of my friends was quick to point out: congrats, you're a human being... =P

    Maybe this will be helpful when I have kids of my own... Who knows! Anyways, thanks!
    Close. Forgot the "/"

    Well that's good that either way, you'll come out ahead.

  9. #9

    Default

    I myself have been into diapers for many years now & I am still asking myself "WHY". For me for the most part it is a sexual "kink" but there are other reasons there too. I am for the honesty route BUT, to much information is also not a good thing. You are not doing/thinking about anything illegal so take that worry right out of your mind. Yes it goes against everything we were taught & were/are told "it's just wrong". In fact it is not. It is more wrong to deny our own curiosities about our feelings. I would say just give it a go & satisfy your curiosity once & for all. After you determine just what interests you about them then if you want to then tell people about it.
    You need to go & discover YOU. Don't do what I did & try to hide my feelings & deny my interests because I felt ashamed of them. It created HUGE issues when I finally came to terms with them & almost cost me my marriage.
    Good luck & I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Exploration View Post
    Hi,



    Particular advice needed:
    -How to talk to parents (or cope if they respond badly...)
    -How to explore safely (I feel like there's a lot of things I could do that would be mistakes...)
    -How to keep secret/maintain dignity where unknowing or uninterested parties are concerned

    Thanks!

    -Exploration
    Don't involve your parents. Do they talk about their sexual kinks? What if you had a different fetish like Rubber, e-stim, BDSM etc. Would you talk to them about it?

    As far as safety goes there really isn't anything unsafe about diapers. As far as exploring them, just put one on and see where it takes you. Wear them by them by selves, under clothes, masturbate/don't masturbate, wet/mess, don't wet/mess outside/inside. None of this is going to physically harm you. The only mistake I can think of is buying diapers that don't fit. Even if you "flood" you first diaper an it leaks, it won't harm you... Just go for it.

    Secret: just keep your diapers in a safe spot were friends/family don't often go. In a box in your close, under the bed might be good options.

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