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Thread: My dad wants me to have sex

  1. #1

    Default My dad wants me to have sex

    When my dad was in high school, he had a lot of sex with a lot of different people. I know this because he never kept it as a secret. I've always known that he's wanted me to get a girlfriend and have sex, but I always thought it was because he wanted me to be a normal teenager. We talked the other day and I learned his true worry which is one of the most convincing things I've ever herd from him.

    He started off telling me how I was like his brother (my uncle) in that I'm just not interested. He said that for my Uncle, that wasn't a problem. He had sex with and married the first person he fell in love with, and he could do that because he's not very attractive. My Uncle is really weird looking and has craters all over his face where there use to be massive boils. My dad still looks like he's in his thirties and he's 52.

    Here's where the issue arrives. My dad told me about all the times that girls had thrown themselves at him telling him that they wanted to have sex with him right there. He was married, so he said no every time, and he assured me that he never cheated. Then he told me that the only reason he didn't cheat was because he had gone through that while he was single. He knew what he was missing by being married, and he knew that his family was more important.

    He told me stories about people who held back while they were single and ended up wondering what they were missing while they were married. His dad was one of those people, and he left my dad and his mom to be with a bunch of new women. My Uncle pulled it off because women didn't try to tempt him since he's not attractive.

    My dad swears that if I do the same thing my Uncle did, it wont be the same. Women will try to get with me, and I will be tempted. He told me that the best way to avoid that temptation is to know what it is, and the only way to do that is to experience it for myself.

    This made me re-think everything I felt about sex. What if when I finally do find someone, I end up loving the sex? What if because of that I make the biggest mistake ever and ruin my family? Sex isn't important to me, which is why I'm not trying to get some. I'm not trying to save myself or anything, I just really don't care. I think I am going to take my dad's advise though just to prepare for the future.

  2. #2

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    sex is good, stop overthinking everything. When you do find someone, you damn well better love the sex.

    If you want to go have sex, have sex

    If not, don't.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by flop View Post
    sex is good, stop overthinking everything. When you do find someone, you damn well better love the sex.

    If you want to go have sex, have sex

    If not, don't.
    He hit the nail on the head.

  4. #4

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    I don't think you have to sleep around a lot when single to appreciate what you have in a serious relationship. If you are dating and you have sex then thats all good but to go out and look to sleep around is more damaging than beneficial. You may get a rep you don't want and there is the risk of pregnancy and disease as well. If you find the one and women throw themselves at you if you are happy in the relationship you should be able to say no. I never got the whole find out what you are missing thing personally

  5. #5

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    Wear a condom. Wouldn't wanna have a kid.

    Forget your dad, do what your heart tells you.

  6. #6

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    Your father reminds me of Brucie from GTA IV.

    Wait until you find the right girl and wear a condom; Simple.

  7. #7

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    Maybe if you were like your dad then it could be a very plausible reason to go and have sex, but I'm thinking that you're not like your dad in that respect.

    The argument rests on the fact the he wanted sex when women/girls asked him for it, and had he not done it before he married, then he would have found it too tempting to ignore once he had got married.

    The difference (I think) with you is that you don't seem overly eager to have sex. That considered, is it realistically likely that you will suddenly become a sex addict once you are married? The situation he describes is only going to happen if your want to have sex is greater than your loyalty to your partner.

    I can see his point, but I don't think everyone is the same, and I think he's making quite a large over-generalisation. You build up your own attitude towards sex, and I don't think you should lets one argument change it. After all sex is a very personal thing, so the decision over when you have it should be personal too.

    @flop It's not quite as simple as you put it. Some people only think you should have sex once you are married, and most people consider sex with somebody other that your partner if you are married to be very disloyal. So it's not just a case of "want sex, have sex"

  8. #8

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    There's nothing wrong with sleeping around, as long as the proper precautions are applied. :P And if those don't work, there's RU-486 and a course of antibiotics for most things you can catch... Meh. I forgot where I was going with this, and I'm blaming ADD. bottom line, there's nothing wrong with one night stands. It's all about what you, personally, taking into account your attitudes and views, wanna do.

    And yes, it is that simple. The people who think you need marriage first are kinda dumb, and I get the feeling that this kid isn't married, or exclusive. :P

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodlandWanderer View Post
    I can see his point, but I don't think everyone is the same, and I think he's making quite a large over-generalisation. You build up your own attitude towards sex, and I don't think you should lets one argument change it. After all sex is a very personal thing, so the decision over when you have it should be personal too.
    I agree with this, he making a huge over generalisation. You may have some self control when you are married and not feel the urge to sleep around. His argument is valid but it isn't the same for everyone, if someone hasn't slept around but then gets a lod of offers doesn't automatically mean they'll become unfaithful.
    You have a diiferent approach to sex than your dad and you shouldn't change that just becuase he brought up a hypothetical situation.

    And flop, while there isn't necessarily anything wrong/harmful about one night stands doesn't (a) mean that everyone wants to have them and (b) I doubt they are very fulfilling, while they are proabably nice some people may feel empty inside due to lack of fulfillment as they still have no one at the end of the day.

  10. #10

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    I know it's a huge overgeneralization, but it's based on the fact that I share his genes. I've gone through almost all of the stages he went through as a kid, and he's worried that this one is just deleyed. Mainly it's a warning that this over generalizaqtion is more likely for me because I'm a lot like him.

    The big thing why this struck me kind of hard is because I don't have an opinion about sex. If I believed that sex should be with who you love and cheating is wrong then I wouldn't be worried, but I don't have those strong feelings. I have absolutely no feelings toward it at all, I just don't think about it. That being said, any opinions or ideas can develop in the future, and anything can happen. My dad is worried because I'm a lot like him. Even though I don't have the same views as him now, chances are that when I do make my own view/opinion that they will be like his. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if the opportunity arises I'm not going to turn it down. I'm not going to out right pursue it, but I'm going to make sure I experience it before I get into a committed relationship.

    And Flop, I'm not over thinking it, I'm underthinking it. When I do think about, chances are I'll be like my dad and his dad and go through the phase of looking for it. If that happens, I don't want to be like my Grandpa and screw up my family. I'd rather be like my dad and get it out of the way so I can focus on what's truely important.

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