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Thread: Should I?

  1. #1

    Default Should I?

    To start off, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around 2 years. Well, I've been keeping it steady, we really haven't done anything sexually, only kissing. But last night we were texting and she asked me if we could have sex. (Shes 15, I'm about to be 15). I'm not asking for sexual tips or anything, and faith isn't really a problem, but should I go through with it?

  2. #2

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    If she is on the pill, yes. Also, use a condom. If she ISN'T on the pill, use a condom FOR SURE, but I'd still advise against it. I'm super cautious though. My brother got to the point with his girlfriend that he would just pull out at the last second. I don't see an issue if you are both consenting. My dad thought I was a freak for not having sex after a month, so sex REALLY isn't a big deal here. Well, it is, but having your virginity at 18 is like the most shameful thing ever to my dad. As long as you aren't going to regret losing your virginity to her there shouldn't be an issue.

    Are you SURE she doesn't have any STI's? For all you know her mother had HIV when she was born and it was passed on, so it might be good to talk about that. (Yes, that CAN happen)

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephiel View Post
    If she is on the pill, yes. Also, use a condom. If she ISN'T on the pill, use a condom FOR SURE, but I'd still advise against it. I'm super cautious though. My brother got to the point with his girlfriend that he would just pull out at the last second. I don't see an issue if you are both consenting. My dad thought I was a freak for not having sex after a month, so sex REALLY isn't a big deal here. Well, it is, but having your virginity at 18 is like the most shameful thing ever to my dad. As long as you aren't going to regret losing your virginity to her there shouldn't be an issue.

    Are you SURE she doesn't have any STI's? For all you know her mother had HIV when she was born and it was passed on, so it might be good to talk about that. (Yes, that CAN happen)
    She's a virgin too, well, at least that's whats she says.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by GoodNite View Post
    She's a virgin too, well, at least that's whats she says.
    Virginity doesn't always matter. People can be born with STI's passed down from the mother. You should still ask to make sure.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephiel View Post
    Virginity doesn't always matter. People can be born with STI's passed down from the mother. You should still ask to make sure.
    Yeah, forget about that. Ill ask if shes been tested.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by GoodNite View Post
    Yeah, forget about that. Ill ask if shes been tested.
    She doesn't necessarily need to be tested, just needs to ask her mom if her mom had anything when she was born. I HIGHLY doubt she wouldn't know if she had it since birth, particularly HIV, but it is always good to ask.

  7. #7
    annierighthurr

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    Use a condom.
    Have fun, buddy.


    No but seriously don't have sex if you're not ready. It's much better to gradually work up to sex then to just do it randomly. If all you've done is kissed, then maybe try exploring some other sexual stuff first to see if you even like it.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by annierighthurr View Post
    No but seriously don't have sex if you're not ready. It's much better to gradually work up to sex then to just do it randomly. If all you've done is kissed, then maybe try exploring some other sexual stuff first to see if you even like it.
    This. It seems bizarre as hell to me that you (or, rather, she) are considering jumping straight from "just kissing" to full intercourse. What happened to everything that's supposed to go in the middle of that? The hands-under-the-clothes, kissing-and-stuff-while-(mostly)-naked, fingering/hand-jobs, etc.? I can't see anything inherently wrong with going straight to sex if you both want it, since the other stuff is usually just a way of building up to sex, and getting closer to and more intimate with your partner without going "all the way" before you're ready, but I guess most people (even at your age) don't last two years just kissing (although I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking it's quite sweet) :-p Also, there's nothing stopping you going back to randomly "fooling around" once you've experienced sex if you want to. The whole point of sex (besides reproduction) is being intimate, exploring each other and enjoying yourself, which "kissing to sex" doesn't achieve very much, in my opinion.

    .. Yeah, that was an unstructured mess. Sorry >.<

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by GoodNite View Post
    She's a virgin too, well, at least that's whats she says.
    This disturbs me: whether she's a virgin is neither here nor there. But it sounds like you have trust issues with her, and that's worrying, this being your first time. There can be consequences... like if things don't go so well and she says your performance was fine, and you think she's lying... or your feelings might intensify for her and she is like meh... or she promptly dumps you for another... there are any number of emotional pitfalls possible; I don't mean to suggest any of them are likely, just that there are risks you might be setting yourself up for.

    That said, to answer the question: should you?

    This depends entirely on the two of you. I can say I had a couple of gf's with whom I most definitely should have slept, and regret to this day not having done so. It would have been the right thing to do, and those were opportunities missed; everyone always assumes that quite young is too young, and people always err on the side of having sex when they shouldn't, and forget it is as easy to err on the side of not having sex when you should.

    So I can't answer your question. I suspect it might be better to have someone you trust absolutely, but that is just my hunch. If there are trust issues after two years of dating...

    But then again you got together at 13 or so... not, for most people an age of the most developed judgment... if it is possible you stayed together from momentum, rather than deeper reasons, it's very possible she's not the best person for [either of your] first time experiences...

    If you ask, I can happily give reasons why it is better to be sexually active FOR SOME PEOPLE sooner rather than later: such reasons may or may not apply to you.

  10. #10

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    IMO from my experience I lost my virginity in my moms car in a church parking lot. Not such a great place to lose it but just make sure its special because once its gone, its gone. I know I was disappointed once it was all over with but if you both want it, go for it. I personally was 17 when I lost it. Just keep in mind once you experience the euphoria, you are going to want it ALOT more! As everyone else has said, make damn sure she is on birth control and worst case scenario wrap your package up.

    As others have or haven't mentioned, sex is also great when you both get to perform foreplay with each other. I enjoy sex more when it starts out as kissing and progresses from there. anyway whatever happens and you decide I wish you the best of luck in a good way and hope you both enjoy it.

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