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Thread: Confused about if I want to have sex?

  1. #1

    Default Confused about if I want to have sex?

    Okay, I'm 18, female. I am heterosexual, I like guys. I am NOT lesbian or anything, not that there's something wrong with that.

    I feel like, being in college, and even in high school, so many people are all about, "I want to have sex." They're talking about it, thinking about it, and I always just feel like everyone thinks about it a lot more than me. It's not that I don't want to eventually... I do. I really want to get married and have a husband and kids and everything. I just think about guys as more of friends. I think of everyone as friends. I don't really like anyone in a sexual way. It's just kind of confusing.

    I really think I just prefer emotional closeness over physical intimacy. Is this weird? Do have no sex drive or something? Or does anyone know what I'm talking about?

  2. #2

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    A lot of people go through a stage of heat in their life, and it could be strongest during their College/High school years.

    Although, how would I know? I'm just guessing.

    You're not different if you choose not to have sex right now. In fact, it's good that you want to wait until marriage. Everyone has these feelings, but for you it could just be coming late.

    Give it some time. :)
    Last edited by ChaosDX; 16-Apr-2010 at 21:03.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by blah View Post
    I really think I just prefer emotional closeness over physical intimacy. Is this weird? Do have no sex drive or something? Or does anyone know what I'm talking about?
    I think that you're very lucky, actually. You don't have to deal with all of the relationship problems that can spring up with promiscuity, and you can spend your time doing the important things - like STUDYING!

    And, I think, that your desire for emotional closeness is a good sign that you should have a more meaningful relationship in the future if you get married. Good for you!

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by blah View Post
    I really think I just prefer emotional closeness over physical intimacy. Is this weird? Do have no sex drive or something? Or does anyone know what I'm talking about?
    It's not weird, and in fact, given your age and circumstance, this is a GOOD thing.

    I've never had sex. I've made love, though, and the second is born out of emotional closeness. Meaning, I'd never make love with someone to whom I was not emotionally close/intimate, as it is a necessary element.

    My she-friends are entering their mid-thirties. And, yes, what you hear about sex drives is apparently true.

    You've loads of time. Don't worry about it at the moment.

  5. #5

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    I have a virgin 32 year old friend.. i have seen him turn down women and offer's for sex. He says they distract you and we have seen many of our friend's spend all thier money and time trying to find women or get them in bed or just to spoil them. well he say's he does not need the distraction's of women and they cost to much. well he is right to a point.. sex releases drugs in your body that make it addicting, like drugs, smoking, etc. well wait until you know you are ready. because until then you are free of that first cigarette/beer/or joint. good luck in school and have fun.

    Shacklar

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Shacklar View Post
    sex releases drugs in your body that make it addicting, like drugs, smoking, etc.
    ... ... are you talking about endorphins?

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Shacklar View Post
    I have a virgin 32 year old friend.. i have seen him turn down women and offer's for sex. He says they distract you and we have seen many of our friend's spend all thier money and time trying to find women or get them in bed or just to spoil them. well he say's he does not need the distraction's of women and they cost to much. well he is right to a point.. sex releases drugs in your body that make it addicting, like drugs, smoking, etc. well wait until you know you are ready. because until then you are free of that first cigarette/beer/or joint. good luck in school and have fun.

    Shacklar
    ACK! You sound like Domenico Tempesta >_>

    I don't see sex as a big deal. If I have sex, yay for me, if I don't, oh well. I don't really know what I'm missing.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by blah View Post
    Okay, I'm 18, female. I am heterosexual, I like guys. I am NOT lesbian or anything, not that there's something wrong with that.

    I feel like, being in college, and even in high school, so many people are all about, "I want to have sex." They're talking about it, thinking about it, and I always just feel like everyone thinks about it a lot more than me. It's not that I don't want to eventually... I do. I really want to get married and have a husband and kids and everything. I just think about guys as more of friends. I think of everyone as friends. I don't really like anyone in a sexual way. It's just kind of confusing.

    I really think I just prefer emotional closeness over physical intimacy. Is this weird? Do have no sex drive or something? Or does anyone know what I'm talking about?
    You're totally normal, don't worry about it. Basically you know what you want, and that's a good thing. Wait until you meet the right person and you feel comfortable...you'll know when you're ready.

    -Gus

  9. #9

    Default

    i don't experience any sexual attraction to people. i have a relatively normal sex drive, but i respond to diapers instead of people. i like hugs and close friendships, but i don't date and i don't have sex with people.

    maybe something similar is true of you?

  10. #10

    Default

    Okay, first, if you're even contemplating maybe having sex, get on the pill. It's not expensive, and it could save you from making a potentially huge mistake. Second, do you find yourself sexually responsive (ie: do you enjoy "special alone time")? If not, you may want to see a doctor because that is potentially a symtom of a larger problem. It may just be that's just the way you are, but better safe than sorry. Third, no matter what happens, if you enter a sexual relationship with someone, be prepared for the very real likelyhood that you two won't be 100% sexually compatible. That means be ready to compromise. Far, far too many people think the "other person" will have to be flexible without ever being so themselves. It doesn't work, so don't expect it to.

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