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Thread: **confused about boyfriend**

  1. #1

    Default **confused about boyfriend**

    Ok, please excuse me if this is posted in the wrong place but I've been dating a guy for 6 months and it's going really well. Last night he told me he wears diapers as a comfort, and sucks a pacifier at night. Now he's said that I also now am realising that our sexual sessions are geared towards me being nurtering and him sucking on my breasts a lot and holding him as he goes to sleep. I have done some research online and am concluding that he leans towards the aduly baby side of things too... I am really confused. Can anyone give me some support on this from the 'other' side. He and I are open and get along very well. He will answer any questions I have, but I am also wondering what the future of this relationship is likely to be like and also what would the situation be if we were likely to have kids together?

  2. #2
    Mesmerale

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    Quote Originally Posted by missk View Post
    Ok, please excuse me if this is posted in the wrong place but I've been dating a guy for 6 months and it's going really well. Last night he told me he wears diapers as a comfort, and sucks a pacifier at night. Now he's said that I also now am realising that our sexual sessions are geared towards me being nurtering and him sucking on my breasts a lot and holding him as he goes to sleep. I have done some research online and am concluding that he leans towards the aduly baby side of things too... I am really confused. Can anyone give me some support on this from the 'other' side. He and I are open and get along very well. He will answer any questions I have, but I am also wondering what the future of this relationship is likely to be like and also what would the situation be if we were likely to have kids together?
    The answer to your question depends on whether or not your boyfriend is responsible enough to make the right choices.

    If he is, it's likely that your relationship will be just fine. You'll do things that any other couple would do (going out to a movie, to eat, to hang out with friends, etc.) and, occasionally, you'll participate in more "unique" activities in the privacy of your own home. What that means for you two is up for you two to decide.

    If he is, having children won't be a problem. Whatever you two do behind closed doors will be kept away from your children, whether it be sex, baby-play, what-have-you. Just like no other parent would let their child be involved in their own sexual activities, nor would you two let your children be involved in yours.

    But he has to be responsible. Despite everything that he is, and despite every way that he acts, when push comes to shove, he has to know that he is an adult, and react as such.

  3. #3

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    Thanks you very much for that response. I am unsure whether I want to be involved in the game as yet, I really need to let it sink in some and figure out how I feel about it. I don't know whether he wants a girlfriend or a mother figure....

  4. #4
    babyjhonny

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    Convosation would be the best thing. You need to talk it though and establish ground rules that you are both comfortable with. If children are involved you need to make shure that they do not bemcome aware of this as it is strictly an adult thing. If the children are old enough (i would say 16 and a half at least) and you feel comfortable with it, then you could explain it to them. But i dont recomend it unless they are showing signs of intrest or similer infantilistic behaviors. You will have to be very very carefull with how you handle this and tread very carefully, one wrong move and it could blow up in your face. I dont know how your relationship is going but you do seem to have found a match made in heaven, If your both in to infantalisim i would say hold fast and be carfull.
    Good luck

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by missk View Post
    Thanks you very much for that response. I am unsure whether I want to be involved in the game as yet, I really need to let it sink in some and figure out how I feel about it. I don't know whether he wants a girlfriend or a mother figure....
    Chances are he wants both but it is possible to be in a relationship without being a mommy, others here do it. The main thing is that you feel comfortable, do NOT let your boyfriend pressure you into participating if you don't want to.

    My advice is to let it sink in and sit down with your boyfriend and have an open and honest discussion about what he wants and what you are willing to do. If you don't want to partcipate he needs to accept that.

    And may I say it's great that you have decided to research this and take time over this rather than making a snap decision.

  6. #6
    Loopygone

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    Well like Mes said, its if he's responible enough to keep this in check. If he is, he'd want a girlfriend/partner first over a caretaker. I'd like to think the majority of AB's would like a partner first, with the kinky stuff coming in second.

  7. #7

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    Your thought mirror that of my partner when I told her about my fetish. It's something that will require a few discussions and questions. I'm going out on a limb and state that your boyfriend wants a partner over a mommy figure. Many of us view this as a private activity two people do. It's unique, and we enjoy the different type of intimacy that comes with it.

  8. #8

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    First thing is first, your boyfriend is really lucky to have someone who's level-minded like you. Instead of making a rash decision and going and saying 'You're a freak gtfo', you decided to research it. That's a major plus.

    The fact that he'll answer your questions is a good thing, and I'm sure he's probably nervous or scared that you'd see him differently. Sit him down and gently talk with him, reassure him about what you do know (ie: if you don't see him as a freak, let him know that- it helps a lot trust me), and before you guys talk write up a few questions in a mental note for yourself. If you guys are both mature and open minded, then your relationship will do well even with this new little info in the field now. I'm sure he wants a partner more than he wants a caretaker, as others have said. The tb/dl side of us is a thing we keep to ourselves usually, in the corner of our home and behind closed doors. He probaly told you because he felt you two were getting to where the relationship is serious, and holding a secret such as that can be a bad thing. It's possible he wants a caretaker too, but ask him yourself what he'd like.

    overall, don't let him make you do something that makes you uncomfortable. If you're willing to partake in the activities he'd like, both of you should start it off slowly ;P

    good luck you two :3

  9. #9

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    As long as he gives you the time that you need and looks out for your needs, it should be fine. My wife and I get along super and she takes care of me as a baby, at times, and I go out of my way to make her feel special. As long as he learns to balance his baby time and his time as your partner, things will be OK. If kids come along, what is done behind closed doors, stays there!

  10. #10

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    First, I would like to say to you in a welcoming manner Welcome to ADISC! I know you are a little confused a little in how you are getting used to the concept of your boyfriend being potentially an AB. I am pretty sure that your boyfriend sees you primarily as a partner before you being a mommy. As many members have said before, I am sure that with respect coming from his part, and the fact that you two seem to be very trustworthy with each other, I am sure that this will not affect anything involving having children or other sorts. What happens in your intimate life is between you and him, and unless you are uncomfortable of being a mommy figure to him, then just let him know that. I just want to say that you have made a good choice in coming here for advice and if you have any other questions that you are curious about, then feel free to ask them here. We are real supportive here.

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