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Thread: Advice Please

  1. #1

    Default Advice Please

    Actually I am kind of happy right now it is weird . I found someone that I really care for on facebook and sent her a friend request since she just joined . She hasn't accepted it yet but I just sent it. She is probably the most important character in my life. You see I am autistic, so I am really unsocial. I had no friends in middle school. I was made fun of constantly. She came and saved my life in 7th grade. She befriended me and stayed friends with me until I dropped out of high school in my sophomore year. With no real relationship with family, constantly getting picked on, and no friends except her I know I would have taken my own life if it was not for her. As I struggle to cope with being in college with no social life and no friends again she reappears. She lives in Alaska now but I just really hope she checks her facebook and accepts me. I don't want to be in any kind of sexual relationship with her; it is in no way sexual. I just wan't to find a way to express how I feel about her. I wan't to let her know how much she helped me. I just don't know how I should express this to her with out her thinking badly of me? Above all I would like us not just to be random Facebook buddies. I kind of want her to be able to open up to me, and me open up to her. When she has a bad day she can tell me about it. Since I am socialy retarded maybe you guys cab help me out.

  2. #2

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    I think it's really great that you friended her. I had someone very similar to her in my life at one point, who helped me through some of my issues with abuse. My mom basically saw to it that we never saw each other again, and I've always wished we could reconnect. If you have a chance to reestablish such a relationship, by all means do so.

    Maybe you could start by saying that you've really missed hanging out with her, and ask her how life is in Alaska. Ask her some questions about what she's up to, what's happened since you saw each other last... basically, show an interest in her. After a couple conversations, once you've caught up... you could simply say something to the effect that your friendship really meant a lot to you, and that she probably doesn't realize how much she helped you. Say something about how you think she's a wonderful and valuable person and that you hope the two of you can keep in touch... I can't imagine anyone being offended by a simple, heartfelt statement of gratitude and admiration. I hope the two of you get to be close friends again! She sounds like a really awesome person.

  3. #3

    Default

    I think you just helped yourself out, why don't you send her a copy of what you posted it says just how you feel and what you expect, a friend.

    I am sure she will accept, and I do hope you re kindle your friendship.

  4. #4

    Default

    I'm not sure what kind of advise I can give. Seems to me like you're doing the right thing. I guess the only thing I can advise against is getting so attached to her that if she doesn't contact you once a day you fall apart.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by satinprincess View Post
    I think it's really great that you friended her. I had someone very similar to her in my life at one point, who helped me through some of my issues with abuse. My mom basically saw to it that we never saw each other again, and I've always wished we could reconnect. If you have a chance to reestablish such a relationship, by all means do so.

    Maybe you could start by saying that you've really missed hanging out with her, and ask her how life is in Alaska. Ask her some questions about what she's up to, what's happened since you saw each other last... basically, show an interest in her. After a couple conversations, once you've caught up... you could simply say something to the effect that your friendship really meant a lot to you, and that she probably doesn't realize how much she helped you. Say something about how you think she's a wonderful and valuable person and that you hope the two of you can keep in touch... I can't imagine anyone being offended by a simple, heartfelt statement of gratitude and admiration. I hope the two of you get to be close friends again! She sounds like a really awesome person.
    She is a amazing person. Really great advice but I don't really wan't to bring up her past that much. She had to move because her mother died of cancer.



    Quote Originally Posted by ballucanb View Post
    I think you just helped yourself out, why don't you send her a copy of what you posted it says just how you feel and what you expect, a friend.

    I am sure she will accept, and I do hope you re kindle your friendship.
    I don't want to creep her out or anything. Just springing it on her all at once doesn't seem like it would be the best way to go.



    Quote Originally Posted by link View Post
    I'm not sure what kind of advise I can give. Seems to me like you're doing the right thing. I guess the only thing I can advise against is getting so attached to her that if she doesn't contact you once a day you fall apart.
    I don't think I would bug her that much unless she wanted me to. I am really going to be heart broken if she doesn't accept my friend request
    though. But at the same time I would understand.

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