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Thread: Should homosexual couples be allowed to adopt children?

  1. #1

    Default Should homosexual couples be allowed to adopt children?

    This is just something I've been thinking about lately. Gay people (well gay men at least, gay women can get IVF) can't have their own children for obvious reasons. Yet many gay couples wish to have their own children. Which leaves adoption as the only option.

    Now apart from the "homosexuality is a sin" people, most people would agree that gay couples have the right to be treated like a normal couple, at least here on Adisc. But one area where this can cause problems is that of adoption.

    Why? Because in this case, the rights of the gay couple are not the only rights involved. The right of the child being adopted to go for the best home for them also has to be considered. However, if they are adopted by a gay couple, theyre going to get teased and possibly bullied for it all their time in school, from the first day in preschool where they have to talk about their daddy and other daddy. Because, while the laws are moving closer to equality, society's opinions sadly aren't.

    My opinion, which is quite possibly biased by the treatment of gay people or those rumoured to be gay in my school, is that society isn't ready for gay people to adopt children, and until it is, the rights of the child outweigh those of the gay couple.

    So what is everyone else's opinion on this?

  2. #2
    Butterfly Mage

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    There was a study sometime in the 1990s that concluded that gay couples ate just as likely to be good (or bad) parents as straight couples. I'm biased for a few reasons: my heterosexual parents were utter disasters as far as parentage goes; one of my close friends was raised by a lesbian couple and they gave him a truly wonderful and nurturing upbringing; as a gay person, I don't feel that I am in any way physically, emotionally, or morally inferior just for being homosexual.

  3. #3

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    While I respect your opinion, I cannot say that I agree with it; in the view that there's no guarantee that the home will be the best for the child simply because there is a mother and a father. I wholeheartedly say that he child is first and foremost, but unfortunately there are heterosexual couples out there who should not be parents.

    I wont say more, but I can see this discussion possibly getting heated...

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    There was a study sometime in the 1990s that concluded that gay couples ate just as likely to be good (or bad) parents as straight couples. I'm biased for a few reasons: my heterosexual parents were utter disasters as far as parentage goes; one of my close friends was raised by a lesbian couple and they gave him a truly wonderful and nurturing upbringing; as a gay person, I don't feel that I am in any way physically, emotionally, or morally inferior just for being homosexual.
    While he study is interesting if you can find it, the main point of my argument was nothing to do with whether the gay people are more or less capable parents, but whether the effects of bullying the child recieves because of them being gay are serious enough to prevent them from being the best home for the child. Now I know some kids will find anything to pick on, but this is painting a huge red target on their back. Nowhere did I say that being gay made them "physically, emotionally, or morally inferior just for being homosexual" and I do apologise if I gave that impression. If anything, I was more negative about the rest of society.

  5. #5

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    Homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt. There, I said it.

    The biggest problem that most kids face when they are being raised by a homosexual couple - the bigotry of other people, that's what.

    Homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt, just as the kids they adopt should not have to face the bigotry of others.

    I remember reading a news article about fourteen years ago. This happened at the middle school I went to. A young boy was beaten brutally by six other students, while the teachers and faculty just sat back and watched it happen, doing nothing to interfere. It took another student calling in a business owner nearby to get the kids to stop beating the boy. Why were they beating the boy? Because he was being raised by a lesbian couple. He was in a coma for several months after the fact, and that situation really pissed me off. What pissed me off even further was that the police who handled the case changed the wording in the police report so that the kids could not be charged with a hate crime (the police report they wrote had the kids chanting "punk" instead of what they actually were chanting, which was "faggot"). Those kids are probably free, on the streets right now, with kids of their own, and IMO, they have no right raising children whatsoever after what they did.

    There are a lot of things wrong with the picture. I have no hatred for the lesbian couple who was trying to raise that boy the best they could. I have nothing but hatred for everybody else who fucked it up the best they could. Those teachers and staff that did nothing? They faced no consequences for their lack of action, they probably still work at that middle school today. I went to that middle school - and sadly, even though this happened a couple of years after I graduated to high school, I could easily see something like that unfolding there very easily.

    Homosexual parents should be allowed to adopt - but on the other hand, the people who pile on the bigotry against the parents and the children in their families should face much harsher consequences for their actions. My blood is boiling just remembering about this, even now. If it were up to me, I would have had each and every one of those heartless, bigoted and irredeemable motherfuckers put to death for their actions - the kids who did the beating, the teachers who did nothing, and the police who sided with the kids who did the beating. People like that are the reason why I am feeling like a misanthrope.

  6. #6

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    When the adopted child is older, is he/she going to think "i can't believe all the crap i got when i was younger because i had two dads". Or are they going to think "thank god i was adopted into a loving home instead of being in the orphanage all my life"?

    I know what i would think, perhaps not when i was young, but what person does not change there opinions as they get older?

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by kaworuchan View Post
    Homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt. There, I said it.

    The biggest problem that most kids face when they are being raised by a homosexual couple - the bigotry of other people, that's what.

    Homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt, just as the kids they adopt should not have to face the bigotry of others.

    I remember reading a news article about fourteen years ago. This happened at the middle school I went to. A young boy was beaten brutally by six other students, while the teachers and faculty just sat back and watched it happen, doing nothing to interfere. It took another student calling in a business owner nearby to get the kids to stop beating the boy. Why were they beating the boy? Because he was being raised by a lesbian couple. He was in a coma for several months after the fact, and that situation really pissed me off. What pissed me off even further was that the police who handled the case changed the wording in the police report so that the kids could not be charged with a hate crime (the police report they wrote had the kids chanting "punk" instead of what they actually were chanting, which was "faggot"). Those kids are probably free, on the streets right now, with kids of their own, and IMO, they have no right raising children whatsoever after what they did.

    There are a lot of things wrong with the picture. I have no hatred for the lesbian couple who was trying to raise that boy the best they could. I have nothing but hatred for everybody else who fucked it up the best they could. Those teachers and staff that did nothing? They faced no consequences for their lack of action, they probably still work at that middle school today. I went to that middle school - and sadly, even though this happened a couple of years after I graduated to high school, I could easily see something like that unfolding there very easily.

    Homosexual parents should be allowed to adopt - but on the other hand, the people who pile on the bigotry against the parents and the children in their families should face much harsher consequences for their actions. My blood is boiling just remembering about this, even now. If it were up to me, I would have had each and every one of those heartless, bigoted and irredeemable motherfuckers put to death for their actions - the kids who did the beating, the teachers who did nothing, and the police who sided with the kids who did the beating. People like that are the reason why I am feeling like a misanthrope.
    This is exactly why I don't think homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt or have kids, for the time being. As much as I think they should be treated equally, it is unfair to the child. In fifty or sixty years, probably less than that, it may even change with the next generation, I figure there won't be a problem with gay and lesbian couples. Just like with black people. I'm sure fifty years ago if a black family adopted a white child all Hell would have broken loose. I completely understand Hex's point. The problem isn't with the parents raising the child as much as it is the child having those parents. Society isn't prepared to accept a different family dynamic, particularly in the United States.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephiel View Post
    This is exactly why I don't think homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt or have kids, for the time being. As much as I think they should be treated equally, it is unfair to the child. In fifty or sixty years, probably less than that, it may even change with the next generation, I figure there won't be a problem with gay and lesbian couples. Just like with black people. I'm sure fifty years ago if a black family adopted a white child all Hell would have broken loose. I completely understand Hex's point. The problem isn't with the parents raising the child as much as it is the child having those parents. Society isn't prepared to accept a different family dynamic, particularly in the United States.
    Yeah, I see what you are saying. What I am saying is that instead of punishing the gay couples who want to raise children, we should instead focus on obliterating the bigotry. People who partake in actions such as beating a kid nearly to death (just because he or she has gay parents) should have to face serious consequences for their actions.

    I do see what you are saying, though. It definitely is not fair to any kid to have to face the bigotry of others the way that kid did. So, I really do have mixed feelings about this topic. In my ideal world, gay parents could raise kids right without having to fear bigotry, and people who deal out bigotry to the point where it almost kills the kid would have their lives destroyed (or, as much as I hate to say it, taken away) as a consequence of their actions. I have nothing but hatred for those people.

    Yeah, this whole situation is terribly unfair for everybody, except for the ones who are completely heartless and irredeemable.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by kaworuchan View Post
    Yeah, I see what you are saying. What I am saying is that instead of punishing the gay couples who want to raise children, we should instead focus on obliterating the bigotry. People who partake in actions such as beating a kid nearly to death (just because he or she has gay parents) should have to face serious consequences for their actions.

    I do see what you are saying, though. It definitely is not fair to any kid to have to face the bigotry of others the way that kid did. So, I really do have mixed feelings about this topic. In my ideal world, gay parents could raise kids right without having to fear bigotry, and people who deal out bigotry to the point where it almost kills the kid would have their lives destroyed (or, as much as I hate to say it, taken away) as a consequence of their actions. I have nothing but hatred for those people.

    Yeah, this whole situation is terribly unfair for everybody, except for the ones who are completely heartless and irredeemable.
    Well since there is such a large amount of anti-homosexual people around right now the only thing we can really do is wait it out. Like I said, people used to be appalled to be seen talking a to a black person, but look at the way things are now. The change didn't occur by getting everyone to accept black people, the change came from the people who were vehemently against them growing old and dying out while the people who wanted equality are the ones currently old enough to make change. I am already seeing a difference in people's views toward gay and lesbian couples, but there are still a rather large portion of people who don't accept gay rights. My brother's old best friend's mom is a lesbian. She'd already had like 7 kids (all different fathers) and none of the kids actually have any issues with her being a lesbian. People crack jokes, but nothing serious. I also recognize that I live in an extremely tolerant place, being that I live right outside of Toronto which is made up of 50% minorities. Here a gay or lesbian couple could adopt or have kids and most people wouldn't care. I also recognize that we are the exception and not the norm. there are places, like the Bible belt in the US or even Alberta in Canada where this just wouldn't fly.

  10. #10

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    I'm sorry, but the assertion that homosexual people shouldn't be allowed to adopt because other people are morons doesn't seem to me to be fair at all. What we do, then, is increase the legal recourse of the bullied children (something which needs to be done anyway) and deal with it that way, not punish potential parents because of the inability of other parents.

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