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Thread: An Abomination

  1. #1

    Default An Abomination

    I just need to vent real quick here, forgive me for sounded like a broken record.

    I went to my sisters band concert today and after it was done I wanted to go up to this group of people where 2 of my friends were, however I felt as though I would be just a disturbance and an inconvenience to them all. I just like this bit of a fear that I would just make everyone think "When will he leave".

    Then after I tried to start a chat with one of the same friends and even though there is probably a better explanation as to why she won't talk to me, I just feel like a creepy person for even saying "hi" to here, IDK why though. I just feel as though I am an abomination to this earth, these people, and this society.

  2. #2

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    Diaperteen..., Ease up, you need to give yourself a break. Life can be enough of a ' bitch ' all by itself, don't run yourself down. I think that you are just going through the rough spots that most every teen feels sometimes, hang in there. The anguish will pass, things will get better.

  3. #3
    Butterfly Mage

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    Yeah, I am often uncomfortable in social situations in which I have to strike up a conversation with people I don't know. The older you get, the easier it gets. It never seems to actually get "easy" but it does get "easier".

  4. #4

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    How am I just going through rough spots? It never seems like it is happening to others? I see tons of people with friends and in big groups, just laughing and talking away, I CRAVE that, but I just cannot bring myself to it. I feel as though no one would even notice if I just left one day, or that the world would be better off with out me.

  5. #5

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    DT what you have sounds like social anxiety, quit beating yourself up find a few freinds that are like you and screw the rest of the world.

  6. #6
    Mako

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    Quote Originally Posted by diaperedteenager View Post
    How am I just going through rough spots? It never seems like it is happening to others? I see tons of people with friends and in big groups, just laughing and talking away, I CRAVE that, but I just cannot bring myself to it. I feel as though no one would even notice if I just left one day, or that the world would be better off with out me.
    The secret is if you try to hard, it pushes people away. You need to try without trying.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ballucanb View Post
    DT what you have sounds like social anxiety, quit beating yourself up find a few freinds that are like you and screw the rest of the world.
    That is the thing though, my main friends in high school made me the fucked up freak that I am today, they picked on me, hurt me, and destroyed me. This disabled me from being able to branch out and make more and better friends, b/c they made me think no one else wants me, so that is why I sided with me.

    Now I have really shitty friends and it has bared me from being able to make more.

  8. #8

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    <Old Chinese man> Old Chinese proverb, taught be very wise man: "Life shit; you do not try for friends, friends come to you. Man who is jealous of others is selfish and alone; man who accept others is happy. Man who lack confidence, lack friends; man who has confidence has friends."

    [This is not really an old Chinese proverb, nor am I Chinese, nor am I a very wise man.]

  9. #9

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    DT-

    The situation you describe kind of reminds me of a guy I went to high school with. He was nice to everyone, good looking, involved in all sorts of things, but some some awful reason, people treated him like shit. And sometimes to his face. I kind of failed him as a friend too. We hung out once or twice--and I honestly had a good time whenever we did hang out--but for the most part, his interactions with our main group of friends were awkward.

    Anyhow, this story does have a happy ending. See, in the high school setting, I think what was working against him was an a priori perception of different-ness that seemed to lead to a tendency to mimic the traits and humor of students who were obviously well known and well liked. I often wished he'd quit the mimicking behaviors and act naturally, but who was I to say that he wasn't already acting naturally? Well, it would seem that college was much better for him. He joined a fraternity and made a bunch of new friends. Folks from high school didn't seem to hear from him again...understandably.

    People have/are recommending to you to cultivate some confidence and like yourself so that others will too. That's always frustrating advice to receive. (I know all too well.) My guess is that something like this can be achieved in two ways. First, stand up straight when you walk, and make eye contact from time to time. But not all the time. Eat bacon, drink coffee--not much--and get a haircut. Second, take advantage of humor. What sorts of things make you laugh? Do you have chances to laugh about things together with other peers? Humor is an important group-building tool for young human males. I would also recommend sharing a burden and a goal with a group. There are a number of ways to do this, but the best are extra-curricular. Interest/opportunity for involvement in drama/speech? Theater? How about a quiz bowl--don't high schools still do those?

  10. #10

    Default

    Those who you have been considering friends aren't really friends at all. I've never heard of someone that has hurt and destroyed a friend. Betrayal is when you thought they were a friend but they were, in fact, not a friend. It sounds like your "friends" fit this description. You need to find a real friend.

    It sounds like you are afraid to try to make new, real friends because your previous ones only hurt you. You should realize that not everyone will hurt you. You just need to become better at identifying who is realy a friend. Practice makes perfect.

    It also appears that you don't hold your self in high regard. You see yourself as an abomination. Try getting your self-esteem up. Is there anything that you are proud of?

    If all else fails, you still have us. After all, isn't this what friends do?


    Let us know how it goes.
    Last edited by Klesto; 18-Feb-2010 at 02:56.

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