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Thread: My insightful opinion on an ongoing problem (sorta rant) Reposted from FA

  1. #1

    Default My insightful opinion on an ongoing problem (sorta rant) Reposted from FA

    I feel I must write this, cause other then the horrible thoughts of me still being
    a selfish prick in Val's parents eyes.. I have other issues..

    A certain ongoing problem within the Babyfur/Abdl community, that I wish I could solve..

    I write this cause I am the few who are Victimized by it..

    There are reasons why Babyfur girls and Girls who enjoy diapies are too far and few..
    One of em is one I really dislike and its destroying any chance of me ever finding a
    decent mate other then Val....

    How every guy Hoards them like they are some Piece of Gold.. like they are a friggin trophy on a stand.. and they MUST have THEM.. its like a Hit item on Sale, and its a race to see who can have her first..Or impress her..

    When a guy finds out a girl Likes diapies and wears them, they are immediately exploited.. desperate guys Jump in and ask an array of reckless and immature questions.. are you padded?are you wearing now? did you wet? when do you wet? do you like it? can I be your boyfriend?Would you ever poop?can I change you if you do?

    Most of the time its "OMG your a GIRL?!!, and you WEAR DIAPERS?!".. Their minds go nuts at this.. and its immediately their ultimate goal.. they don't even consider the fact that the girl may just have a light interest in them, or might just be starting to get into em..
    The fact that guys jump on this and hoard the poop out of them, scares them and makes them recluse back into their shell, for fear that she may attract more creepy horny guys..

    Its SOO annoying when I hear about this..

    Many time she could just have a curious interest in them, and then realize that it may not be such a good idea cause of all the creepy disgusting guys that will stalk her.. therefore totally ruining the whole experience..
    Those who are defiant and have the strong will, and like it enough, will keep it to them selfs and hide, Only doing it within their privacy, because in the past they either dated, or have been bothered by desperate guys either looking for a mate, or a mommy...

    I'm sorry.. but this is ridiculous.. I know this sorta thing has been going on for a VERY long time.. but now that I am grown up now, and alone again.. I am again affected by this terrible plight..

    I feel this sorta thing is wrong.. for guys to only like a girl cause she wears..
    That's an obsession, and a waste of time.. for both.. and it just kills the girls interest in a relationship in future guys with the same thing.. cause again.. she feels like it will only lead to the same thing..

    This ruins it for guys like me who date, not only for the diapers, but for the personality, and Type of person they are, how they act, what they are doing in life, Sometimes what they love in life, and for who THEY are looking for Truely.. i go based on TRUE feelings.. Not Urges....

    If a Girl I mate, Loves an wears Diapers that's nothing more then a bonus to me
    it just makes me sure that I have nothing to worry about
    same with being a Babyfur, or accepting of it..

    Unfortunately, I can only date a girl who is a diapie lover.. because I cannot stand to give up or hide one of the few things that make me happy and feel secure..
    Its a release for me to just relax.. and cub out. and be padded.. and to enjoy the feeling of it all.. sexual and Non sexual..
    I enjoy living in the child like world because I feel free to be me.. who I really am

    I only want a Girl, cause my heart demands it.. prefers it. and only has feelings for one, I wanna be the one who shares his life with that very special person,
    I wanna live my life with one of the last remaining Good things left in life..
    cause if there's anything that would make life not miserable.. ever.. is finally being in the arms of the person who knows it all and understands it all.. Nothing to hide.. nothing to worry..

    It sucks.. I had all this with Jenni(Val)
    I loved her farrr past the fact she loved and wore diapies, way far past the fact that she is a babyfur.. I saw her flaws, and didn't just look pass them and forget them, no, I made it my direction to help her with them, I fell in love with who she is.. our interests clicked and fit, and when I was actually being myself, and not some bratty asshole pity party, she was truely happy, I fell in love with the fact that she actually had a set direction in life, so i can actually have the chance to do what I had always wanted to do, and that is grow along with the Girl I love
    To live and learn in life together, and thats bound to make the love even stronger then ever, its also bound to help you understand your partner, and how they work, so that you can happily live with them, it allows you to see what you have to give up and what you can gain by doing so..

    If that's not true love..
    then Guys.. Girls..
    What the Fuck IS love then..

    You don't just love somebody cause you "guess" that's what your supposed to do
    Why Guess?
    You should already know if its right or not, and they the same..
    yeah experimenting is fine, as long as both of em do it together and know..
    Guessing is reckless.. and in something as important, and serious as a relationship, I wouldn't dare to guess on factors regarding the one I love
    I do my research, and I FIND OUT.. I follow what I KNOW is true..

    Before I flew out to Val, I knew... I knew it was gunna work out as long as I kept on working on it.. and not give up.. I would have had it made and me and her inseparable..

    My Mistake?
    I Doubted myself, I disrespected the two most WONDERFUL people on the planet Besides Val, and that was her Loving parents..
    And worst of all I never listened to their advice..
    I don't know what was going through my mind.. but I know now.. that what I did was a most terrible thing.. and I would NEVER let myself make that mistake again..

    But now, Nobody cares anymore, I fucked it up soo bad that I am not even trusted back at the house, or near Val, and I have to Fight, Just to get my belongings back.. cause everything I own, and everything I am, is still up there

    I am regarded on that side, by her parents and her friends, and maybe even Kuromi, as an Obsessed self centered fool with no direction in life, no will to succeed, No want to better myself, and too lazy to go out and get it done...

    And you know what.. I Really wanna change that!!!!, I really Do not want to live knowing that somebody out there whom I cared soo much about, now hates me because I was being something I am not..... I wanna Prove to them that I will fight as hard as I can to get through school, and find a job, and BE somebody!

    Its just, I'm down here now, miserable, and lonely, my only guidance is the support of my family, and the advice of friends..
    But.. none of them can I share with.. like I did Val
    at the end of the day I am the same person, no different,
    and that's how it will stay the longer I am here..
    cause I am alone, and I have no release anymore..

    When I was up there, I would look at Val, and smile, cause I knew that I was doing all this for someone as special as her.. and that made me proud to be alive..
    That made me proud that I was bettering myself, cause I had somebody to better myself for..

    Now.. I don't..

    And don't go and say "Well then focus on bettering yourself FOR yourself"

    Cause I will laugh at you, and then tell you that I have done this before,
    I always end up doing the same thing.. and then I am on a steady life, living on what I have, and constantly on top of things, with nothing but me to live for
    I just do what I always do and cherish what I have and, do what I love
    all while getting nowhere, and achieving nothing.. yeah sure.. I was happy, but I wasn't making anybody else happy.. I had no reason to, I was alone..

    I Fucking hate being alone...

    Why have it all and have everything, with nobody to share it with at the end of the day?
    I'd rather just have what I have and live it if I am to be alone.. and it will SUCK..

    Least Val, Liked who I was, and fell in love with who wanted to be and who I really was.. Not a lot of girls like me for who I really am.. actually as of now.. None do..

    Thanks for Readin..

  2. #2

    Default

    my honest question is.. exactly WHAT did you do that was thatbad? and what does VAL herself think. not how others think, how val thinks.

  3. #3

    Default

    She began to agree with her parents after all the fighting between me and them
    eventually be broke up with me cause I was causing too many problems, with me being the defiant, and doubtful person I was, it was causing too much stress.. and the decision was made..

    I quote from one of my journals on FA



    "I don't even wanna write what I did
    This shit never leaves my mind..
    I disrespected them, I acted like an arrogant asshole, I defied their means of help,
    (like I usually do to people) I gave a "I give up" attitude
    I made comments about things I shouldn't have, I criticized their life, and what they did, (this is only the half of it)

    I was written 3 notes..
    3 notes written By Jenni, asking me dearly to quit my shit..
    both were briefly written and very detailed on what needed to happen
    I was reminded by her, and her do
    I was so blind, So STUPID, So CARELESS, I never understood what they wanted..
    Until it was too damn late..
    I pushed everybody to the breaking point,
    I pushed Jenni till her Beautiful Big heart could not tolerate my shit anymore"
    And Her, well her opinion is null when it comes to her parents.. they run most of her life.. she was only 19, turned 20 this December, and was forced to do what she believed, cause she believed that I cannot change..

    I think that if it was really up to her, I would have gotten another chance...

  4. #4

    Default

    what a long rant..what did you do that is that bad? i can't even think of something bad enough to do that to a family..
    ima arctic fox too.. val cant't be to mad at you it's not our fursona's way. arctic foxes are forgiving =^_^=
    tell us what happened and maybe we could help you
    i personally would get a girlfriend based on liking her from first sight, than after getting comfortable i would confess my quirks

  5. #5

    Default

    id have to talk with u further to piece it together better. but thats for another time.

  6. #6

    Default

    Shes not an arctic fox.. shes a Blue raspberry Cocker Spaniel puppy and you all most likely don't know her,

  7. #7

    Default

    must b thinking about someone else. but val is cool. you can work it out I'm sure. things don't always work straight away.if they did half the companies in the world wouldn't exist.

  8. #8
    GaashaHuzzah

    Default

    ok then...

    Gotta be honest, I made light of the problem every time you said "fuck" or "diapie."

  9. #9

    Default

    Long rant (kind of), but understandable given the situation. I agree that girls are swarmed by boys in the *BDL world, but not all the males are like that. The reason why some are, I suspect, is due to what you said in the first quote below.
    Think about it, you 'have' (I'll adress that later) to date a girl who's *BDL, and this mindset is held by all the other guys who swarm girls. Because of the amount of guys that are going to be hitting on her, your brain decides that if you wait and do it the gentle way then she'll get taken by somebody else first, so you go for her right away. The result is all sorts get to her, she gets freaked out then ignores them, and any who did decide to go slow don't have a chance because she's left the community because of her bad experience.
    It happens to 'fit' girls too in the real world. If you're blond, good looking and have large breasts then you'll get all sorts of guys trying to date you. (sad how the media's and entertainment industry has created this, but that's not for this thread) The difference here is that the girl is not likely to get hit on by creeps wanting their nappies changed, so she just dismisses all those she doesn't like, and those that get to know her slowly and become friends actually have a chance.

    I'm not going to comment on what porportion of the *BDL community swarm girls, but it's a fair amount. Regardless, the actions of those generally spoil the chance for everyone, but they don't care because they had their shot at her.



    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcat View Post

    Unfortunately, I can only date a girl who is a diapie lover.. because I cannot stand to give up or hide one of the few things that make me happy and feel secure..
    Its a release for me to just relax.. and cub out. and be padded.. and to enjoy the feeling of it all.. sexual and Non sexual..
    I enjoy living in the child like world because I feel free to be me.. who I really am
    Now here's your problem, the fallacy that you have to date a girl who's *BDL. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty certain that the majority of *BDLs who are married have a 'normal' partner. Sure, you won't get as much use of you stuff as you might have done otherwise. But if - like you say you do - you go with your girl based on a match of personality, interests, character and actual love, then that's going to be a far more rewarding relationship than any other, and she's more likely to accept you anyway if you're that close.
    I'd rather that, than going with someone because they're *BDL and 5 years down the line find your marrige is breaking up because the two of you aren't a good match.

    With you the situation is not strictly as above as you found a girl who you met in the right was and has that side as a bonus, but I'm saying if the worst comes to the worst and you can't work it out, then it's not the end of the world. (Though coming that close to the goal then losing it would, admittedly, be devastating)



    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcat View Post
    She began to agree with her parents after all the fighting between me and them
    eventually be broke up with me cause I was causing too many problems, with me being the defiant, and doubtful person I was, it was causing too much stress.. and the decision was made..

    And Her, well her opinion is null when it comes to her parents.. they run most of her life.. she was only 19, turned 20 this December, and was forced to do what she believed, cause she believed that I cannot change..

    I think that if it was really up to her, I would have gotten another chance...
    Well your answer lies in here doesn't it. At some point she's going to have to live without her parents and have responsibility for herself. I can see why her parents did it, they only want what's best for her, and it seems whatever you did made them think you weren't suitable. That said, persuading their daugher to think the same is certainly not their right, but what's done is done.
    The only way I can see is if you step back, truly think about whatever it was you did, and hope that in the future you can show that you've matured and are no longer the person who did those things. Hopefully, if she's able to think for herself, and truly still loves you, then she'll have it in her to grant you forgiveness and work it out.
    Remember that you don't need the parent's approval to get married at your age (well, not here - may be different there) but their support is preferable and could help both of you in the future.

    Finally, this may be the wrong thing to ask, but what do your parents think of it? after all they have a partas much as hers should do.

    I hope some of this is useful to you, and you can work something out.

  10. #10

    Default

    As a woman I used to get all these dirty men about my diapers and somehow it all stopped. I just stopped posting my screen names on AB/DL sites and I stopped having anything AB/DL related in my yahoo profile. I deleted that content from it because I didn't want Yahoo to delete my account because they delete AB/DL stuff.

    Occasionally I still get these dirty men and one of them was from my area. He was creepy and wanted me for sex even though he knew I was married. I blocked him. He would not stop the dirty talk and kept trying to talk me into sleeping with him and said I could invite my husband to bed with us.

    I understand why men would want a diaper woman. They want someone who shares their fetish but the problem is so many of them jump on us about our fetish and talk dirty and lot of us are sensitive to it, even aspies. Yeah we react the same way as a typical woman to these men. Now if only a guy will just find a woman with their fetish and talk about other things and not just talk about diapers and don't ask them to do things for them like masturbate, take off their clothes, send them photos of them in a diaper, etc. Because so many of men do this, it makes it harder for the good ones to find a diaper girl.

    Two years ago I was meeting men with a diaper fetish and doing diaper play. I was getting all these men because I'm a woman and they wanted female in diapers. They were nice and not dirty thank goodness. Only one of them was. I never wanted to see him again.

    My husband dreamed of having a woman who could be his baby girl. It was his fantasy he had since he was a child but he didn't think it ever happen. Then he met me. He was one of those men I met when I was seeing men for diaper play. We did not meet at Diaper Mates, we met at Daily Diapers when I posted a thread there looking for people in the area. So my husband was very lucky he found me and he was like a dad to me. Now I am not so much of an AB. Once I got over my depression, I was more of a DL. My husband still accepted me. He also has aspie traits. He says he could be borderline but he isn't self diagnosed. He doesn't want to know and won't bother to go in for testing because it won't change anything so why spend money for a label or spend money to get told he tested negative and he doesn't have enough or his traits are just part of his brain damage? He has other six different things wrong with him and he doesn't need a seventh. I don't claim he has it either. When we first met he almost scared me away because he said "I have a feeling we are going to get married." I freaked out. I said I didn't want to see him again and he told me he was just joking. I don't remember this incident. He told me about it and told me he had to lie that he was just joking. It worked. It does seem creepy to have a guy who hardly knows or whom you just met say that to you. No wonder I freaked out. Well we did get married, nearly two years later.

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