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Thread: How to be a better person

  1. #1

    Default How to be a better person

    I personally am always striving to make myself better. Sometimes I've been criticised for this, I've been told I push myself too hard, or pretend to be something I'm not so I come accross better to people, but I'm very much of the opinion that as long as it doesn't damage you or someone else emotionally or physically then it's ok to strive to be a better, nicer person.

    I've quite deliberately put this in the mature topics forum, because I think it takes a very mature person to be able to identify one of their faults and make a conscious decision to change something about their lives for the better, and I'd really like this to be a serious pondering thread.

    I want us to all take a few moments to think of one thing that will make us a better person, either a better person to others, or a better person for *you*. What about you can you change that will make you overall more amazing? It can be something simple like holding doors open in shops, or something more personal like losing weight to help your self esteem.

    If you want to share, then that would be lovely. If you want to post to say you are changing something but not disclose the details, then that too is ok. Or even if you just take a minute to read this and you spend 30 seconds thinking about it, then I hope you take something away from this.

    ___

    I'll start and say that this week I'm going to make a conscious effort to smile more to passers by. As they say -

    smiling is infectious
    you catch it like the flu
    when someone smiled at me today
    i started smiling too


    - and I'd certainly be more inclined to catch a smile than the swine flu.

    What will you do? Are you doing anything already?

  2. #2

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    The single largest thing that I've tried to do, and tried in earnest the past few years, is to distance myself from Ego.

    It's made all the more difficult by where I am and what I'm doing, but I really do think that this single concept can be traced back to a lot of ills in the world.

    I am very quick to seek appropriate ascription of ideas to their originators, but this is simply because I seek to be honest and paint a clear and realistic picture of things. With my own work, I am quick to point out that it wouldn't be possible without many other people, again this is just the reality of the situation.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by talula View Post
    I'll start and say that this week I'm going to make a conscious effort to smile more to passers by. As they say -

    smiling is infectious
    you catch it like the flu
    when someone smiled at me today
    i started smiling too


    - and I'd certainly be more inclined to catch a smile than the swine flu.

    What will you do? Are you doing anything already?
    This. Smile, be happy, be yourself. Being genuine to those around is should always make them happy. People shouldn't try to hide themselves for anyone's sake.

  4. #4

    Default

    I find my biggest challenge to personal betterment is negativity. Some people are glass half full types, some are glass half empty types, but I sometimes joke that my glass is laying in pieces in a puddle on the floor. I'm an engineer by trade and training, and much of my job involves breaking things. Finding the flaws and weaknesses of a design and exposing them in order to reduce the risk of having a failure in a live deployment. This leaks into my state of mind, and makes me very cynical in too many aspects of my life, and I find that my negativity can become poisonous to my mental well being.

    I'm constantly working on maintaining a positive outlook on the world. It takes a good bit of personal will power to keep destructively analytical side of my mind at bay.

  5. #5

    Default

    one of my biggest problems is that I think too highly of myself. around my piers at school i think that I am smarter than others and I know that this arrogance will lead to my own destruction emotionally. I need to humble myself and not think of myself as the highest but as the lowest because I have my own faults.

  6. #6

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    Whenever somebody's actions seem off, infuriating, or generally rub me the wrong way, my immediate response is to try to empathize with them in order to understand where that person's views are coming from.

    I've had the opportunity to have been humbled by a major failure, due to what I now recognize as a former self-centeredness. I used to concentrate so much on being the best that I could be that I would trample on others in the process.

    I realized that having good intentions is not enough in this world; you have to empathize with others and understand their concerns, or inevitably, you'll cause collateral damage. You'll take misguided actions, never truly understand the world and fail to see the forest from the trees time and time again.


    So, now when irritated, I empathize first, and criticize later (if at all, and only if it's warranted in light of context). It has made me a much happier, wiser, and nicer person.

  7. #7

    Default

    I think becoming a better person depends on having different experiences, and improving one's character. So in that sense, I'm always trying to become a better person simply by living. By having to make decisions, by experiencing their outcomes, and by learning from mistakes.

    As for stuff I've tried to force, I wanted to be able to give people compliments. Still feel uneasy doing it though, so it needs work.

  8. #8

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    I usually try to break the general assumptions that people have about teens nowadays (i.e. rude little jerks). I hold doors open for people, say thank you, excuse me, etc. and I just try to be an upstanding member of society in general. Although, being EMT I know that I'll eventually become cynical after seeing the worst that society has to offer, and that is something I will need to work on.

  9. #9

    Default

    My biggest challenge in becoming a better person is to control my competitive edge (My Keyshawn Johnson self). My ego can get very vocal as I am the competitive bitch who just wants to get the damn ball all the time.

  10. #10

    Default

    My biggest challenge to become a better person is to tame my temper and broaden my tolerance. Some people really anoy me to unexpected levels and can infurate me to a point I am completely blind. I've suffered a lot because of that, though I've been going to therapy and I'm successfuly overcoming that. I'm also a perfectionist, and that could be a good thing, but has brought me several issues, and affected my self-esteem. I'm trying to accept things as they are.

    I'd also like to socialize more, but I'm afraid of what people might think. I could say I'm scared of people.

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