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Thread: Is it ok to date her, Whats the window???

  1. #1

    Default Is it ok to date her, Whats the window???

    Well I know you can't give the perfect answer to this. But My friend Jake and Lisa just started dating. Shortly after she moved back home. Now me and Jake both know Lisa from when we worked at BK. Now the tricky part is we both like her. Just Jake told me he liked her first. SO being a friend I never said anything. I know that over time you loss/gain people and such.

    Well Lisa is going to break up with Jake, they only dated for like 2 weeks but its jsut not working out as great as they thought. An well I always liked Lisa, But latly me and her have been hanging out. An I find I like her allot, I mean ALLOT. We both have a ton of things in common, An we both have allot of fun together. But we also talk about allot of thing together as well. This seems to be where we are the strongest. Are minds are on the same track it seems, We are always on the same page

    I hate to start dating her and hurt my friendship with Jake. But at the same time I don't wanna loss out on something that could be wonderful. She even knows I'm a AB\DL and understand what it does for me.

    Maybe I shouldn't worry bout it, Idk even know if she does like me in that way. We hang out allot and such, But maybe she would rather just be friends.... Should I even tell her, and see what she says. After I let them break up and give it time and such.
    Last edited by Siege89; 06-Jul-2009 at 20:46. Reason: Changed names, As the drama keeps unfolding

  2. #2

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    Two week relationship? Dude, there is no window. that girls fair game. i doubt mike is gonna care, and if he does, just tell him to be a man about it. they had their chance. they tested the waters. it didn't work out.

    i could understand backing off if she was married to mike, but this is a very simple relationship we're talking about.

  3. #3

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    You said it wasn't working out for either of them right? If that's the case then I don't see why he would have a problem with it.

  4. #4

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    Sorry, after 2 weeks... its pretty serious... Just kidding..

    I would go for it, they obviously arent meant for eachother, and you two have a lot of fun together, maybe she is breaking up with him in hopes that you will ask her out?

  5. #5

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    Just make sure not to 'go for it' before she's broken up with him. And if he's upset when she breaks up with him, you'd be a good friend not to start dating her when he's down. Sure, they've only 'dated' for two weeks, but maybe he'll feel pretty rejected for a bit. It's something to consider.

    I used to be friends with this one guy. He's married to my ex-girlfriend. He 'went for it' before she dumped me--or you could say she cheated on me. Takes two, I suppose. I'm not sure why, but it seems like it wouldn't have hurt so bad if two people in my life (one a friend, the other a girlfriend) hadn't back-stabbed me.

  6. #6

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    I'm torn on this issue.

    I don't think you should because it's your friend's ex.

    On the other hand if you to really like each other then you could find a lifetime of happiness.

    Perhap you should talk to your friend and see what his feelings are?

  7. #7

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    Hmmmm. Well I guess I'll have to see what happens over the next few days between the 2 of them first.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillhouse View Post
    Two week relationship? Dude, there is no window. that girls fair game. i doubt mike is gonna care, and if he does, just tell him to be a man about it. they had their chance. they tested the waters. it didn't work out.

    i could understand backing off if she was married to mike, but this is a very simple relationship we're talking about.
    What he said.

  9. #9

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    It sounds to me like Alex wants to be with you, but is unsure if you're interested. I think she's hesitant to break up with Mike because, if you're not interested in her she's out a boyfriend. It's OK to tell her you're interested in her but, like the others said, don't start dating her until she breaks up with your friend.

    Mike should be fine in the long run.

  10. #10

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    I think you have to wait until she breaks up with Mike. Then, you can continue to casually be friends for several weeks. After that period of time you go and speak to Mike and ask if it's OK with him that you date his ex.

    There's another side to all of this. You don't know if Alex wants to date you seriously or just be friends, and that is something you will also have to find out. You don't want to lose Mike as a friend over someone who may not be interested in you in terms of a serious relationship. This means that you are going to have to invest some time and patience into this relationship. All good things come to he who waits, and plans well ahead! And the fact that she accepts you as an AB/DL means two things. Either she will be really into this and you, for that matter, or she only sees you as a friend, and therefor would not be dealing with the whole diaper thing in a dating situation.

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