Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: Father's Day

  1. #1

    Default Father's Day

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't look forward to this "holiday" for various reasons. I get similar feelings around my birthday and Christmas, but I usually cope with it reasonably well at those times. Sometimes I just can't bear the void of my Dad not being there at these special occasions, or even having a card, just to show that he does actually give a crap about me...

    I sometimes think it would be easier if he actually was dead, or even lived the other side of the world. But no, he lives about 2 miles away at the most and he knows where I live, has my phone number and my email address. He just doesn't give a shit about me, at the end of the day.

    I have tried... a couple of years ago my ex's family was kind enough to allow me to invite him for Christmas dinner, and it was the best Christmas I've had for a while. Everything was so perfect, and then he went. And I haven't heard from him since, although I'm sure he enjoyed his bottle of whisky that he asked for.

    I'm sorry if I hurt anyone but I don't really want to see any comments like "well, at least your Dad is still here" because they don't really help. He might as well not be here for what good he does, and it hurts more knowing that he IS here to do this to me... there isn't a day where I don't wonder why I'm not good enough for him

    I don't want to go into detail about it all, and again I'm really sorry if I upset anybody, I just want to get this off my chest...

  2. #2

    Default

    My father and I have never had the best relationship. He had a really hard time realizing that I was my own person. It took several years for us to finally "accept" each other.

    That said, a good relationship is a two way street. I learned that the hard way. I had to learn to accept him for who he is, not who I want him to be. He's never going to win the father of the year award, but I know, as his son, he will always love me and support me. We share the same DNA. That kind of bond is inseparable. It is still really hard to pick up the phone and call him, but when I do, we have really good conversations. Too many years went by where we didn't talk for us to ever be "close", but our relationship is in a good place now because we respect each other. He knows i'm never going to be like him and I know he will never live up to my high expectations.

    I'm not going to pretend to know anything about your specific situation, but i'm sure your father means well. A lot of people have a hard time expressing their emotions. "I Love You" is a four letter word to some people. He may think you want nothing to do with him. He may feel like he's already lost you. You really have no way to know what is going through his head. Alcohol only complicates things. I don't think it has anything to do with you not being good enough for him, though. I think it has everything to do with him feeling like he's not good enough for you.

    Barack Obama wrote a book called Dreams from My Father a few years ago about his relationship with his father. His father was never around, but looking back, his father ended up being one of the most influential people in his life. I read it last year and it was a decent read. It helped me finally stop trying to change my father and just accept him for who he is and cherish the things he does do instead of hoping for something more.

  3. #3

    Default

    I play "daddyfur" to tons of people. Most of them actually wished me a happy father's day ^^;;

  4. #4

    Default

    I don't do anything for my dad or stepdad. I won't even say happy fathers day. I'll say it to my grandpa's though.

    My dad doesn't say anything to me, so screw him. He doesn't deserve anything.
    My stepdad is just an asshole, so he gets nothing either.

  5. #5

    Default

    I'm still on good terms with my father, and it bothers me ever so much that I was informed Saturday night, the day before Father's Day, that I had to go to work early on Sunday. My dad, brother and I barely had time to eat lunch and visit my mother's grave before I had to go to work, so I had to miss the movie we were taking him to. This wouldn't bother me so much if they hadn't pulled the same thing with my schedule on Mother's Day, where they called me as soon as I got home from the graveyard to tell me I was already late for work.

  6. #6
    Darkfinn

    Default

    I hate summer period... at least the beginning of summer.

    Mom's birthday, followed by mother's day, followed by father's day. Seems I spend every other weekend going up and seeing my folks, who I do not get along with. I know that they don't approve of my life or of the choices I have made... so why do they even bother?

    I swear that's all we do in the US... string the year along from one holiday to another. It sickens me at times...

    Let's name some of the major ones... shall we?

    New Years, Valentine's, MLK, President's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Independence Day, Veteran's Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, X-mas.

    Throw in relative's birthdays, St Patty's, and Cinco De Mayo for good measure... and you've got a reason to party at least twice every month.

    Senseless, no?

  7. #7

    Default

    As many of you know, my wife and I have 3 children. Our oldest is my wife's nephew whom we adopted. His birth father is disfunctional, and his mother was an idiot. At age 12, he made the decision to leave his mother and come live with us. He was well aware that we were moving to Virginia from Ohio. He's grown, very successful and has become the best father I have ever known, including myself.

    So my advise to those who have crappy fathers is, learn from their inadequacies, and should you become a father, be the best father in the world. You know the hurt of bad parenting, and you don't have to be like them.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    So my advise to those who have crappy fathers is, learn from their inadequacies, and should you become a father, be the best father in the world. You know the hurt of bad parenting, and you don't have to be like them.
    I think my brother is going to adopt rather then have a kid of his own and I guess that's to try and end the bloodline. Me on the other hand, I am still very much a kid myself so I don't really want a kid.

  9. #9
    Darkfinn

    Default

    I don't want kids yet... I still find them snotty and annoying. I know LG would like to try someday... so maybe in another 5-10 years.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    So my advise to those who have crappy fathers is, learn from their inadequacies, and should you become a father, be the best father in the world. You know the hurt of bad parenting, and you don't have to be like them.
    Def good advice there! I think this is the main reason why I want to become a father so bad. I would love to be married with a child by the time i'm 25. I know its young, but i've had this burning desire to have a child of my own since I was in high school. Not enough of a desire to go knock some chick up, but strong enough to know that I want it to happen sooner, rather than later.

Similar Threads

  1. Happy Father's Day
    By Countdown in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 16-Jun-2008, 16:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.