Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Of all the things in the world... >.<

  1. #1

    Default Of all the things in the world... >.<

    *NOTE* If you want to skip my rant/venting/thing, scroll to the bottom of this post to read a shortened version

    You'd think that gender would be perhaps one of the most static things that you could carry with you in life. But no, apparently, I'm not to have that luxury. I suppose I checked that bag at around 12 but lost it when my flight landed at around 14.

    I'm having issues with gender identity. What can I say? I have no idea what the hell is going on in my head aside from the fact that something is. As you can probably tell, it's not exactly the simplest thing in the word to solve, add all of my other teenage drama onto the pile and we've got quite the situation, I suppose.

    It's just... Frustrating, I guess would be the right word. It's not every day that you think you might be transgendered. Well, for me it is at this point. Too. Much. To. Handle!

    Starting with that whole cross-dressing thing, I just figured I was getting into yet another obscure fetish and lifestyle. I mean cross-dressing's just another kink, right?

    Well now it's evolved into something more serious, seriously. I no I didn't want to grow up and just become another NORP (Hell, I don't even want to grow up at all), but I never expected this to happen. Wearing panties and skirts is so much less constricting, wearing a bra and stuffing it to simulate that I've got boobs feels, well, right. And everything in between.

    I see yuri pictures, two girls kissing each other for instance, and it looks really, really adorable. I see that picture and just get this huge emotional feeling, like I want to be one of those girls in that picture, so beautiful and sweet. I feel like I want to be the little girl!

    I know it may sound like I've got this all figured out, but I just don't know. I just don't featherbed jig-ing know. Everything looks laid out to me, but I can't seem to put two and two together! Fakensht this is frustrating

    God this sounds horribly written. Maybe I'm just being my worst critic like always, but I digress to something more important.

    TL;DR

    I don't know what my brain is telling me. I think I might be transgendered. I know I'm a cross-dresser, I know I like many girly things, and I know that I feel a strong emotional connection with many girls, real and fictional.

    Can someone who's been through this kind of thing (or anyone at all, really, I won't be picky) give me some advice?

  2. #2

    Default

    let me ask something blunt...after you get off...do you still love all that or does it bother you?

  3. #3
    Mesmerale

    Default



    First off: It's impossible to not be transgendered if you feel even the slightest bit like this.

    The reason for that is because transgendered basically means "anything not 110% male or 110% female". So, yeah.

    Secondly: Yeah, it sucks. But it's really nice, too. A dirty little secret that you can have fun flaunting, or telling select people, or both.

    Three: Enjoy the irony. Seriously. For instance: During my French class yesterday, my teacher was having us write down the conjugated verbs in the past tense that use e(^)tre instead of avoir (or is it aller?), based on context. At that point, one of the students asked, "Madame, are we supposed to be writing from our point of view, or from the person's? And if it's the person's, don't we need to know if it's a boy or a girl." My teacher responded, "The person's. For now, you're all girls, okay? You're all girls."

    Mommy (FairestandFallen) was sitting next to me at the time, and I just starting giggling.

    Irony is so funny.

    Lastly: Experiment. See what you like and don't like, decide what you are. Look up definitions for various labels. I know that labels aren't the best thing, but they can help you feel at ease about it all.

    But don't let the labels define you. They can change at any moment.

    Right now: I label myself as Bigendered. Which, to me, means that my "gender-personality" changes between male and female depending on the situation. On ADISC, it's always female. At school, it's almost always male.

    Another way to describe it would be "best of both worlds" (Mooster, if you see this, don't post anything, damn it!)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I forget what your question was... If it was about helping to find complete resolve or something, I don't think I answered it, but I've never been good with vague questions. ^_^

    If you like, ask me some detailed stuff via PM, I'll be happy to talk to you. I like new friends. ^_^

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fire_lupine06 View Post
    let me ask something blunt...after you get off...do you still love all that or does it bother you?
    I'm not sure that I follow. Perhaps I'm just being slow today...



    Quote Originally Posted by Mesmerale View Post
    First off: It's impossible to not be transgendered if you feel even the slightest bit like this.

    The reason for that is because transgendered basically means "anything not 110% male or 110% female". So, yeah.

    Secondly: Yeah, it sucks. But it's really nice, too. A dirty little secret that you can have fun flaunting, or telling select people, or both.

    Three: Enjoy the irony. Seriously. For instance: During my French class yesterday, my teacher was having us write down the conjugated verbs in the past tense that use e(^)tre instead of avoir (or is it aller?), based on context. At that point, one of the students asked, "Madame, are we supposed to be writing from our point of view, or from the person's? And if it's the person's, don't we need to know if it's a boy or a girl." My teacher responded, "The person's. For now, you're all girls, okay? You're all girls."

    Mommy (FairestandFallen) was sitting next to me at the time, and I just starting giggling.

    Irony is so funny.

    Lastly: Experiment. See what you like and don't like, decide what you are. Look up definitions for various labels. I know that labels aren't the best thing, but they can help you feel at ease about it all.

    But don't let the labels define you. They can change at any moment.

    Right now: I label myself as Bigendered. Which, to me, means that my "gender-personality" changes between male and female depending on the situation. On ADISC, it's always female. At school, it's almost always male.

    Another way to describe it would be "best of both worlds" (Mooster, if you see this, don't post anything, damn it!)
    Thank you, Mesmerale, I figured that you would have some insight on this. Yes, I know that I may seem glaringly obvious, but for some reason there's this little hang up I've got and I don't know what... Maybe it's the last microscopic shards of my heterosexuality hanging on by the skin of their teeth. I certainly hope not, I want that gone for sure. Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way and over-analyzing things here. That's probably the case, I'm a tad paranoid, OCD, and apprehensive when it comes to things like this.

    Ha on the French class incident, that sounds hilarious. If only my school had things like that happening every now and again. And if I had another ADISC'er to hang out with there. *jealousy*

    I've been trying to experiment, but as stated above, I'm apprehensive for some reason. I wish I wasn't, that I could charge headlong into this with pride, but I suppose that's for the future to determine, now isn't it.

    Featherbed jig. My. Life.

  5. #5

    Default

    well is it more a sexual urge or an emotional one ?

  6. #6
    Mesmerale

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milla View Post
    I'm not sure that I follow. Perhaps I'm just being slow today...
    Do you feel so strongly about this particular thing after masturbating?

    If you don't: It's sexual.

    If you do: It's part of your normal personality.





    Quote Originally Posted by Milla View Post
    Thank you, Mesmerale, I figured that you would have some insight on this. Yes, I know that I may seem glaringly obvious, but for some reason there's this little hang up I've got and I don't know what... Maybe it's the last microscopic shards of my heterosexuality hanging on by the skin of their teeth. I certainly hope not, I want that gone for sure. Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way and over-analyzing things here. That's probably the case, I'm a tad paranoid, OCD, and apprehensive when it comes to things like this.

    Ha on the French class incident, that sounds hilarious. If only my school had things like that happening every now and again. And if I had another ADISC'er to hang out with there. *jealousy*

    I've been trying to experiment, but as stated above, I'm apprehensive for some reason. I wish I wasn't, that I could charge headlong into this with pride, but I suppose that's for the future to determine, now isn't it.

    Featherbed jig. My. Life.
    Happy to try to help.

    so, yeah. I don't see why you've mentioned your heterosexuality. After all, I'm still straight, even though I'm bigendered/transgendered. So... How does being heterosexual have anything to do with this? Unless you're gay.. Or bi.. *shrugs*

    Well, it took me a couple months before I started compulsively buying things, so.. *shrugs* It'll all happen at it's own pace, I suppose.

    But, let's try to determine one thing..

    1) What Fire_Lupine06 said.

    2) Do you want to have true, physical surgery to become a girl?

  7. #7

    Default

    That's hard to say. After masturbating, I don't particularly feel this any stronger, no.

    There is however a sexual aspect of course, being the hormone driven hellfire engine that is the teenage body. I find it very arousing to think of myself as a woman in sexual situations. Also, however, I of course think of myself as a man in those situations, particularly because I know that at this point I can't be a woman, and must enjoy myself as a man I guess.

    Then there's the emotional part. This one seems bigger and of course, much more important. I feel this warm, connecting, understanding feeling when I picture myself as a girl. I also see the lesbian relationship as one of the most beautiful things in the world. Given that I'm a bi-sexual gender-confused male, I'm still of course attracted to women. And even though I know that if things go just as planned I will "get with" a woman sooner or later, I find a man and a woman strange. For instance, when I see a picture of straight hentai/porn (I won't deny it), the man always looks so controlling. I don't want to be that kind of person. Though, if it's a lesbian picture, everything seems a lot more loving.

    Yes, I understand that porn has no relation to what actually happens in real life, but my point remains. There's a lot that I didn't type that I wanted to type, on account of it breaking my brain in half at the moment.

    As I said before, confusing.

    And to the second question: I don't know. I'm unsure of the risks. I still want to be a guy, sometimes at least. It's a pretty even split as to where I want to put my gender identity, I suppose.

    There would be significant consequences to getting surgery along with the bonuses. I'm unsure at the moment what I want done with the rest of my life. I am only 15 (16 in like 16 days though!) after all, I've got some time to decide.

  8. #8

    Default

    I think it's a complicated situation. You have to assess how unhappy are you. If it's significant, I would suggest seeking professional help. Since Vikingland has socialized medicine, you should be able to see a counselor/psychologist who could give you some incite. Part of that is having someone to talk all this over who is trained and skilled, someone who would fit your personality and your personal needs. You might have to go to several before you find someone who you can connect to. I say this because you wish you had an adisc friend, and so I'm thinking, someone to share your feelings, and your needs.

    Some of us can accept the way we are and go through life with reasonable ease. But as you know, some have a lot more trouble. If you are troubled, and it sounds like you are, then don't let it get out of hand. You shouldn't have to live in turmoil.

  9. #9
    Mesmerale

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Milla View Post
    That's hard to say. After masturbating, I don't particularly feel this any stronger, no.

    There is however a sexual aspect of course, being the hormone driven hellfire engine that is the teenage body. I find it very arousing to think of myself as a woman in sexual situations. Also, however, I of course think of myself as a man in those situations, particularly because I know that at this point I can't be a woman, and must enjoy myself as a man I guess.

    Then there's the emotional part. This one seems bigger and of course, much more important. I feel this warm, connecting, understanding feeling when I picture myself as a girl. I also see the lesbian relationship as one of the most beautiful things in the world. Given that I'm a bi-sexual gender-confused male, I'm still of course attracted to women. And even though I know that if things go just as planned I will "get with" a woman sooner or later, I find a man and a woman strange. For instance, when I see a picture of straight hentai/porn (I won't deny it), the man always looks so controlling. I don't want to be that kind of person. Though, if it's a lesbian picture, everything seems a lot more loving.

    Yes, I understand that porn has no relation to what actually happens in real life, but my point remains. There's a lot that I didn't type that I wanted to type, on account of it breaking my brain in half at the moment.

    As I said before, confusing.

    And to the second question: I don't know. I'm unsure of the risks. I still want to be a guy, sometimes at least. It's a pretty even split as to where I want to put my gender identity, I suppose.

    There would be significant consequences to getting surgery along with the bonuses. I'm unsure at the moment what I want done with the rest of my life. I am only 15 (16 in like 16 days though!) after all, I've got some time to decide.
    What dogboy said.

    And you're sounding kinda like me, in the sense that you enjoy aspects of being both genders.

    It is pretty confusing. The first thing that I accepted was that I could be both, in a sense. It wasn't completely unheard of or wrong to be bigendered.

    Then I accepted that the surgery was definitely not for me, which is why I asked you about it.

    Hm...

  10. #10

    Default

    Not sure if this helps or not, but there is a test called COGIATI (Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory) that can help you with some of these issues and give you possible solutions to them. The COGIATI is 65 questions long, and will probably take at least half an hour. If you are interested, you can find it here.

Similar Threads

  1. Where in the world?
    By FullMetal in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 16-Apr-2009, 02:10
  2. hello world
    By frost in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 31-Jan-2009, 18:51
  3. Hello, world
    By ShyBaby in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 14-Sep-2008, 03:02
  4. Joy to the world!
    By tom in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 01-Sep-2008, 17:29

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.