nightmares

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Alexia

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every couple of months i get this nightmare where i'm suddenly back at school feeling all anxious and hopeless for being stuck in that shithole again after all those years. even after waking up i'm still left with those feelings for at least another 10 to 30 minutes. i don't even think about those awful school days and yet i still get such nightmares
 
Maybe I'm wrong, but I see a recurring nightmare as a sign, that you have to do something in there. It's like ghosts, only the other way round. Try thinking about those days and see if there was anything you badly wanted to do, but never did. Try thinking about how you do it and what may happen. Chances are, you'll actually do it in that dream and it'll stop bothering you.
 
the only thing i really wanted to do but never did was to bring an assault rifle and go on a rampage
 
School sometimes amounts to a giant babysitting business where the kids with the biggest problems sometimes tend to seem to "rule." The thing is, usually after everyone graduates and has to actually support themselves off of their own sweat, many or most of those "problem kids" don't do very well. Many end up institutionalized, incarcerated, or otherwise in highly dysfunctional situations. Ultimately, the ones who figure out how to help others the most effectively, and hurt the fewest, are the ones who gain the genuine respect of the most.
 
Listen,

I assume you had a shitty high school experience like I did. I don't know if it was as bad as mine (with the abuse from teachers and all) but I think you have a form of PTSD. I have nightmares about being back in high school, and shortly after I broke a wall in my sleep, I was diagnosed.

Sometimes you have to go back and face your demons, but sometimes it is best to let bygones be bygones and move on. Trust me I went to 3 high schools went back to one and it only made the nightmares worse in a way.

Either way take my advice with a pinch of salt as our situations most likely vary by a wide degree.

If you need to talk I am just a PM away.

good luck and feel better :)
-fireband
 
The ABDL thing is just another instance of my probably feeling somehow traumatized when I was very young, and in my case, probably I had not yet developed a broad enough understanding in my life, to take whatever my "perceived trauma" may have been without getting in some way "bent out of shape" about it, and I have never since felt "right" about said "perceived trauma." Being a "vulnerable" child and suffering "perceived trauma" at school continued the same saga.

In reality, the only person who has the right to steal my "peace of mind" in the present moment is my own self, (or whomever I give permission to for the same.) The very act of choosing to give this "permission" away to my past to destroy my present, is a choice and a right I have never lost, but I sometimes fail to claim.
 
I think having dreams about being in school is very normal. I've had them my entire life. Usually I'm in math class and I have no idea what I'm doing. Another school dream has me looking for my locker and of course I can't remember my locker combination. In another dream, I have either driven to school or ridden my bike. It's time to leave and I can't find my car or bike. All of these dreams are so damn frustrating and they keep happening again and again. I have other dreams that are worse. In my case, I don't think I ever have good dreams any more, only bad.
 
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