I Need Help.

Hello fellow friends of adisc,

I need your all's help.

To start off, I have recently been diagnosed with a mental condition known as Bipolar disorder. I started some medication back in December and am trying to manage it as best as I can. I moved back in with my parents back in August to start seeking help because I was using "alternative" methods of medicating, and so far It's been good. My parents have been nothing but supportive of me through this process the entire time, and I love them very much for putting up with me and my quirks.

I have only just now accepted that my love of diapers will always just be a part of me. However, back in July this was not the case. I thought one of my parents discovered my biggest secret. I saw one of my Bambino Teddy's on the sidewalk next to the trash can in the open. The previous night I tied it up in a plastic bag, so I know this was no mistake. The anxiety absolutely overtook me to the point I had my first mood switch that led to my diagnosis a few months later. So after a long battle, even me questioning my relationship with God somehow. I purged and threw 3 perfectly good bags in the dumpster. Perhaps it was some form of PTSD because the anxiety made me absolutely sick and paranoid, just like it is now.

Fast forward to now. After dealing with a horrible depression downswing (I slept over 12 hours yesterday), in a moment of "I will do whatever it takes to make me feel better" I took the liberty of ordering some more, because it is truly the only thing that will make me feel better in my time of crisis.

To the point: Basically... how do I tell my parents about this? I've weighed the options, and with me starting to spiral down like this, I need one thing I can cling onto to help me. I know I should've had this discussion with them before I even ordered them... It's starting to make me sick with regret but I promised myself I cannot purge again. This is who you are! Diapers have been the subject of many of my night terrors and always fills me with regret. I cannot bring this up with any therapist because I fear the looks and judgement I might receive because this is such a delicate issue.

My parents, especially my mother, are really understanding and caring people. They fully supported me when I came out to them when I turned 18. And I don't really suspect there will be an issue with this (hopefully). How do I word this? I'm so lost and sick about this... Even reaching out to you all is making me feel a whole lot better. Thank you for taking the time to read this *hugs*

You have several problems but your parents seem to be understanding about what you have told them already. I really think they would be accepting of this additional information.

Needing diapers for a mental reason is a valid reason.

I would wait for a time (not too long) when you and they are in a good mood and calmly explain to them your reasons (like you did in your post above).

The bottom line is...only you know your parents and your situation well enough to answer your question and only you can decide whether to do it or not.

Another option: Are you under the care of a therapist? If so, talk to your therapist about this and see what they say.

I can't really give you an answer to that because I have kept my diaper love to myself and have never told my parents. Do you think it will hurt them or put them at ease that you are protecting yourself from ridicule. You can explain to them that you wear because of anxiety and it keeps you from wetting pants and thus making you more uncomfortable. You can tell parents that you feel safer wearing them to protect your bedding. There are many things you can tell your parents. It is up to you how comfortable you are letting them know. Lots of luck and may you do the right thing. Diapers are one thing I have never given up on in my life, and I don't think I ever could. Hugs.

I would imagine they would take the Diapers well, I have tried talking to my Mom to explain why I like diapers, but I don't know if she really "gets it" ; I love my Dad and he has been great, but him and my Mom got divorced (it was after me and my brothers were all grown anyways) and he lives in Puerto Rico, I talk to him sometimes and I remind him I still love him and I haven't forgotten him, but no need to explain anything about diapers to him.

But it would be great to just have my mom stop questioning it you know?

I also have Bipolar (well not exactly diagnosed as either type or Bipolar, but that's the closest defined disorder to what I have I guess as I'm diagnosed Bipolar-NOS (Not Otherwise Significant)) so I get the wide range of moods (primarily some form of Depression and some form of Mania) and being overly emotional.

First of take a breath and take stock of where you are. You have accepted that diapers are something you need to have that secure sense of self. As for telling your Mother, it sounds like she is supportive of your needs, after all she is your mother and you are her child. As a parent myself there is nothing my children could tell me which I or my spouse would freak out about ( whilst obviously the fact I am on here means we've seen a thing or two) I think as children we put to much stock in our parents not understanding, they have been around the block too as well. Now I Obviously have no knowledge of your family dynamic but a caring mother while maybe finding it a little odd may give you more support and acceptance than you think , and your mom sounds caring. After all in the scale of things it's just a diaper, really not anything crazy. Pick your time, if you need to, write some approaches down, there is also a lot of ideas on different posts on this site of how people have approached their own situation. Either way you need your diapers so get them as you need. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself first before you tackle the world.

The decision to tell your parents seems like the right one. Trying to deny this part of yourself is clearly eating you up and is toxic towards your mental and physical health. Plus, what you indicate seems to show your parents are at least somewhat receptive and non-judgmental.

One way I've seen that can help people tell others is to write them a letter. This helps you to include all of your thoughts, as well as making sure they all get said when the time is right. Just make sure to be there when they read it. Those we tell will always have more questions for us, and will need additional guiding to make sure they don't misinterpret anything the wrong way.

I also agree with others that this is something you can discuss with your parents. I think they will be sympathetic considering your diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. If nothing else, you've opened the door and you'll know how they feel about it. My mom discovered my diapers when I was a college student and so that door got swung wide open. I was having severe depression problems which led to a psychotic break. They sent me to a psychiatrist and diaper wearing was one of the things I had to discuss with him. This stuff just sometimes happens.

I was really nervous about having to discuss diaper wearing but I got through it. If wearing diapers is important to you and if you feel it may help to lift you out of your depression, starting a discussion might be the way to go.

Thank you all for very much for your kind replies:biggrin:. I think I'm definitely going to tell them... but I'm still so unsure about how to start the conversation. I could write a letter like @Slomo says, but I'm afraid of just coming right out saying it. How would I even word it to them? Oh hey, btw I like padding xD? If I have a conversation I could pivot to something else if things start to turn south, I guess. But it just doesn't seem right. It just eats me up inside because there is no "way" to tell them.