I dont know where to turn 😔

I have been an AB since I was 12, Im now 31 and have been through the binge purge cylcles no end of times. For me I find it as a comfort. I am in a relationship and have a been for 2 years. When my fiancé and I met, she knew of my “kink” and fully accepts it. I was at that time living in my own but and had the opportunity to regress a lot. I have since moved in to her already made home and rarely get the chance. I am now struggling with how I feel. I love spending time as a baby. I am now at a time of thinking Im depth of needing and getting help to stop this. I want to be “normal”. I love my fiancé but although she says she accepts it and doesn’t want me to change who I am. I feel I need to change and stop to be a better person. She loves me and I greatly love her.

What Im asking is for advice?
If any of you have been in similar situations? What have you done?
Has anyone successfully stopped?

Would hypnotherapy work? I dont know what to do.

Any help would be appreciated


Thank you

Why do you feel exactly that this is something you need to stop to be a better person exactly? Many times we feel we need to change or stop certain things (usually aspects of ourselves we don't like) to be better, but in reality most of the time we become better by accepting who we are first. If your fiance accepts this part of you and doesn't want you to change, I don't feel it's worth burdening yourself with trying to fight this urge when it probably won't go away. So I'd advise instead aiming for self acceptance and questioning yourself as to why you would want to change.

You could go the "Trying to be normal" route, there doesn't seem to be any evidence it would actually work (many people try to get away from their ABDL side permanently and end up going back to it a bunch of times before they realize it isn't working and probably never will) and I would say you are better off accepting this part of you.

But this is only my advice and whatever route you decide to go I wish you good luck.

I'm just saying there is nothing wrong with ABDL, we are not doing anything harmful or illegal, so your comfort (or lack thereof) with your ABDL side rests with you.

Hi,
One thing is for sure, your AB sìde will never disappear. You will be able to make it "dormant" but soon or late it will come back.

Now, if she's accepting, maybe you should also try to accept yourself ! Not only when alone but "in-depth".

I'm an hypnoytherapist and yes, it can definitively help you but not to "quit" something that your non conscious brain consider as being good.

Hypnosis can help you to accept your ABDL side and feel much better with this kink. It can help to find initial events with "age regression" . It doesn't mean that you'll find an explanation of the root cause but you'll be able to "feel" the same than at the very beginning. And finally hypnosis can create funny anchors like emptying bladder in defined circumstances.

Except for the first point you need to be very receptive to hypnotherapist suggestions (20% of people).

Finally, sorry but being not good enough in English, I do not practice in this language, only in French.

Good luck, my wife is "accepting" as far she don't see anything. Quite restrictive but I've found ways to indulge myself as best as possible. I'm accepting myself better and better every year but this is not shared. I would encourage you to start to talk about your kink to your wife another time but before, listen to Lo's podcasts at "thelittlelounge.com" . After that, you'll find the right words to talk to your "love of your life" and find the way to Nirvhana!

Then, and only then, spend money to hypnotherapy!

I was there only a few weeks ago, mid December I suddenly felt sick of myself, I felt like I was loosing purpose with my life. After some deep thought I found my trigger, my GF & I were at our towns x-mas tree lighting (its a big deal around here, smaller population) anyway, we were by the bonfire and I looked over and saw all these people that were the same age as myself with there small kids, it deeply affected me because I thought that should be us, then I started thinking about my situation and lifestyle and got lost in myself.
I finally realized that I needed to talk to my girlfriend about these feelings, she has been a godsen to me about my little side, she truly takes care of me and so sitting down and talking with her was hard at first considering the dynamic we have together but in all honestly we both shared the same sentiments, we talked about this issue and a bunch of other things, at then end of our conversation like hours worth of talking I basically walked away feeling that kids will come in time, and that I'm more worried on our next chapters in life, like growing older with her, making sure she's happy, being a good provider and stuff.
Just talk to her about your feelings, trust me, you want her to know because she's going to be your best friend for the rest of your life.

Nicely put, Pampers4U.

Numerous rigorous attempts have been made to try to get homosexuals to stop being homosexual. Methods included drugs, psychotherapy, criminal prosecution, and immersion in religious dogma. Occasionally some group would claim success but I don't believe any of those claims could be verified over time. The "successes" appeared to be nothing more then extended periods of restraint and self-denial similar to the purge cycles most of us are familiar with.

Sometimes the urge to engage in behavior that is socially repugnant and unacceptable has psychological origins. This behavior is a learned behavior based on upbringing that causes unrealistic conscious and unconscious beliefs and attitudes. Psychotherapy can often help such people, over time, to actually overcome their unacceptable desires by showing them the flaws in their thinking patterns and then teaching them proven methods for correcting those flaws. Because of the success rate in these cases many people believe all unusual behavior in people can be attributed to false ideas and faulty thinking that can be corrected with psychology.

But that attitude overlooks the likelihood that some of our fundamental desires are neurological in origin. In other words, they have a physical component in the brain and can be permanent. This differs from how beliefs are stored in the brain in much the same way read-only memory in computers differs from read/write, random access memory.

Long story short, what you have to accept is these desires are essentially a physical part of your body. The only way I can see to erase them is to destroy the brain cells where they are held, but no one yet knows how to find them.

Wow, 19 years in denial and you're still at it. It sounds like your girlfriend is more accepting of your diaper than you are. Don't take this the wrong way, but you need to turn to a therapist. You can't stop being yourself anymore than you can choose to permanently stop breathing. The more you try, the bigger the inevitable gasp comes rushing back to you. You seriously need to learn on including and ballancing your diaper needs, much like slow deep breaths.

Ps, what exactly is normal anyways? Everyone has at least that one thing which makes the weird, off, acception, or whatever. Normal is not perfect. For you, being a dl is your one thing that does make you normal.

Nicely said, remember "everyone is normal...….until you get to know them, so normal is as normal does be comfortable with who you are. There are societal norms but personal needs. You have a whole life to live. don't deny the things that make you happy, trying to please a perception of 'how it should be' usually end up with you not being happy. It's cool to be who you are accept it for you own happiness and well being

Sweetie I want you to think in the terms you have written. If being in a diaper helps you or makes you feel normal, why would you want to stop.? If it feels good and makes you happy why stop ? Your girlfriend said that she accepts you and greatly loves you. You moved in with her and now you are struggling with how you feel, and that is not a good thing. I have been a diaper lover since 12 years old. I never once thought to tell or even explain it or share it with my parents for fear of being labeled as "crazy" I told my husband about it, he never accepted it nor took any interest in it. In his own words "That's your thing". I am still a diaper lover , now widowed but I will not stop. It is me and diapers is what I love. Think of what you are saying sweetie and bless you. Hugs and be yourself, Love yourself for who you are !!

Baby23 said:

I have been an AB since I was 12, Im now 31 and have been through the binge purge cylcles no end of times. For me I find it as a comfort. I am in a relationship and have a been for 2 years. When my fiancé and I met, she knew of my “kink” and fully accepts it. I was at that time living in my own but and had the opportunity to regress a lot. I have since moved in to her already made home and rarely get the chance. I am now struggling with how I feel. I love spending time as a baby. I am now at a time of thinking Im depth of needing and getting help to stop this. I want to be “normal”. I love my fiancé but although she says she accepts it and doesn’t want me to change who I am. I feel I need to change and stop to be a better person. She loves me and I greatly love her.

What Im asking is for advice?
If any of you have been in similar situations? What have you done?
Has anyone successfully stopped?

Would hypnotherapy work? I dont know what to do.

Any help would be appreciated


Thank you

Click to expand...

HI Baby23

I think you need to talk your feeling out with fiancé, because all this is not going to go away.

You will need Little Space time. for your own health, you say that she know about this side of you and she is supportive,

I don't think hypnotherapy would work, as this is part of who you are, accepting your self will work and then accepting your fiancé for who she is.

This will be time well spent.

this might help you in doing this.

THE 5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE

https://youtu.be/AFV_ywYbUO0

It not just learning your partners love language but yours as will, what is it that you Love about your self?

I wish you all the best

Hugs

Siysiy

If someone has been able to stop being ABDL they would not be on this site, so we can't say it is impossible. But if you look at all us who have been around for more than a few decades and are still into ABDL shows that it is unlikely. As everyone has said the best path is to accept who we are and enjoy it. Your fiancé has accept you as you are, now you need to do the same. Talk to her about having some little time. Find out what her boundaries are. Share your little side with her, she may really enjoy it.

I think you're very fortunate to have a girlfriend who accepts those who enjoy wearing diapers. This in itself should help you accept this desire. As others have said, what is normal? Lots of people have desires which are not shared by the majority of society but that doesn't mean these desires are inherently wrong. They just simply exist and wanting to wear diapers is yours just as it is most of ours. It took me years to accept it for myself, but over time it gets easier. Give yourself some time and let your girlfriend help you. Her acceptance should help you to accept yourself.

It's incredibly difficult to open up such a vulnerable part of yourself to another even when they say it's ok and they don't mind. Having someone who accepts this aspect of your life is a blessing.

I don't think you should feel a need to change who you are if it makes you happy and doesn't impact the relationship negatively. Especially considering she's alright with this part of you and invited you into her home knowing full well of your "kink" beforehand.

It's going to take a lot of time and effort to slowly break free of that awkwardness but if you're willing and so is your partner then it can most certainly be done.

She doesn't have to participate if she doesn't want to of course. If she does awesome if not that's perfectly all right too and doesn't necessarily mean she disproves of the ABDL lifestyle.

I'd suggest starting small. Playing with small toys. Casually using sippy cups or bottles on occasion. Having toys or plushies around. Sleeping with a plushie. And slowly work your way up as you both, you especially (taking into account how hard you seem to be on yourself). Slowly push your limits and trust in yourself and your partner.

As for a similar situation, I'm in a very similar boat right now.

My partner knew full well of what ABDL meant to me and my mental well being before we started dating and were just good friends. He's incredibly receptive and accepting of it as well which is honestly amazing. Your fiance is amazing too it sounds like.

He would like to be more involved and one day become my caretaker.

Having had very bad experiences with a past partner and past caregiver, I was very hesitant and shy about opening up. And I won't lie it still is a struggle but I've come a long way. I say I because it's mostly me who's slow to come out of my shell. He's been nothing but supportive and amazing to me. Urging me to be myself and do what makes me happy.

Slowly over time we're breaking more walls helping me be more comfortable with this aspect of myself. I've never wanted to purge, as I know being ABDL is part of who I am as a person. I don't want to be "cured" and don't really think any kind of cure would work permanently.

Trying to give up being AB, is extremely difficult, I think that it will always be with you.

Baby23, I was AB since I was about 4 years old, it was always a part of me and I would indulge when I got old enough and knew how. As I got older I continued through the binge purge cycles like everyone else. I would tell myself this couldn't be happening. I would convince myself that this was wrong or weird and that absolutely no one could understand it, in my profession if anyone found out it would ruin me.

Finally when I got married I thought that would be it. I have found the girl of my dreams, I would no longer be lonely.... that I did not need diapers and little things anymore.

I lived in this AB/LITTLE/DIAPER exile for 30 years, turned myself into a person that I really wasn't. In trying to hide this side of myself from my wife and anybody else I overcompensated, that is, at times I was cold and distant a tough guy. This denial really affected me during my wife's pregnancy and the first several years of my sons raising. I did not want to let myself get too excited about the "little things". I could have been so much more excited for my wife, so much more a warmer father to my son. But I was always afraid to let that soft side of me back out, I was trying to keep it all buried. In retrospect, it is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

It was always there, always just under the surface, but that is what it made it more difficult, because I was in constant denial.

It was over 30 years of stomping it down. It never went away. I was at the lowest point of my life, I was getting ready to go solo on going back to diapers... but I took a chance and told my wife, and her complete acceptance of this side of me was amazing.

Now I can just be myself. I can let the softer AB side of me show without fear. My wife loves this "soft underbelly" side of me better than my cold distant side. I am a much happier, more relaxed, better person, better father and better husband. Additionally, there was an added benefit that I never saw coming and that is the incredible dynamic that this developed between my wife and I. Our husband and wife dynamic skyrocketed and we have a wonderful and loving little/mommy dynamic.

I really think that it was amazing that I was able to stomp this down for 30 years, but it really did come with a personal price, things that I wish I could have a "do over" on.

Baby23, you can always try and deny this side of you... In my experience of 30 years... it will always be there some way some how. From what you have said, you are half way there, you have an accepting girl friend, build on that, find balance but don't try and purge this softer and better side of your personality. I think that over time you will be a much happier person and not have to learn this lesson the hard way as I did.

If your girfriendis accepting of your little side then why the sudden urge to be "normal"? I think this is either some for of anxiety or part of the binge purgecycle. You are not harming anyone, your G/F is obviously happy with the way you are or I doubt she would haave asked you to live with her. Therapy may help put at some point the urge to wear or to enter little space will return. Hypnotherapy will help to relax you but as far as I am aware (I now have my diploma in hypnotherapy) no hypnotherapist would be able to offer a cure. Psychotherapy may work but will take years and will be very expensive. Apart from aversion therapy i can't think of anything else, and aversion therapy rather than being a cure will normally just shift your perspective.

Communication is key here I think. Talk to her about it. Explain how you're feeling. Are you feeling uncomfortable about yourself wearing diapers or are you worried she's uncomfortable and just too polite to say anything? If it's the former, then you'll need to learn how to accept yourself. If it's the latter, then talking to her about it will iron things out. Make sure she understands that you really want to be with her and how much she means to you.

The bottom line is that you won't be making yourself happier by trying to quit liking diapers.

It has been said in many forms at this point, but let me give my most blunt and direct input possible.

You are not weird for enjoying or using diapers at all no matter how much anyone in society says so and it's a perfectly acceptable part of who you are. If anything you are a greater person for knowing your most sensitive side and giving it the attention and care it needs, and not many guys get to explore that with the whole toxic masculinity thing that's existed for so many years. It's not easy to watch society screech at the thought of using them for any reason besides necessity and I entirely understand that, I've seen these examples amongst my friends on Facebook too and just couldn't give any input on it.

BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR SHAMEFUL OR ABNORMAL TO DO SO.

You as a person have already accepted yourself more than the general public knows how to even in this moment of denial, you are 100% clear to fully accept yourself wearing diapers in any way you want to (of course following some common sense and courtesy with it). It doesn't make you anything else you already aren't, it doesn't make you gay if you're straight or another gender, it doesn't make you a creep or a lowlife or even so much as a weirdo. Dead serious. The day I came to ADISC was the day I realized this is actually entirely fine and started making progress with my life again personally. Not to mention the most unexpected people wear as well.

If you still REALLY feel like there's another reason you don't want to wear, that's okay too though. Life's answers are so surprisingly simple that few people know how to process it and fewer follow them. (This is also the reason some people less-knowledgeable make it surprisingly far in life not knowing some of the most trivial things, but that's another topic) The most important thing from all of this is that you can break that stigma you seem to feel, that pain inside that feels like a great wall or a deep well...and realize it's just an alphabet block or a puddle in reality. I know you can figure it out whichever way you need to, and it'll be a long but VERY rewarding road regardless of outcome when you put your mind to it.